73. I’m Pregnant. 

After Kang-joon left, the first thing Se-hee thought was to eat something. But her queasy stomach made her lose the courage to eat. She thought she might be able to eat something her grandmother made, though. Then, Jin-kyung came to mind. Jin-kyung, who enjoyed hosting home parties, was an excellent cook, and her food suited Se-hee’s taste. At Se-hee’s call, Jin-kyung arrived with bags full of groceries in just 40 minutes. Though she must have had many questions, Jin-kyung didn’t say a word while cooking. Soon, the table was laden with food Jin-kyung had whipped up: mille-feuille nabe, gambas al ajillo, yuzu ricotta cheese salad, and salmon steak.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to eat quickly?”

“Yeah.”

To Se-hee, who only answered and looked at the food with her eyes, Jin-kyung asked.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“My stomach is queasy, so I’m wondering if I should eat.”

Jin-kyung moved her lips but couldn’t say anything. Feeling her cautious reluctance to ask, Se-hee spoke first.

“I’m pregnant, Jin-kyung. It’s his baby.”

Se-hee smiled gently, as if happy, and carefully placed a hand on her still-flat belly.

“I wanted this so desperately, but I was foolishly completely unaware? So I feel so sorry for the baby.”

Because of her irregular periods and her hectic daily life, she never imagined she was pregnant. So she had been negligent in taking care of herself. She couldn’t sleep or eat properly, and she didn’t find out about the baby’s existence sooner. It was apologetic yet grateful, overwhelming yet moving. Unlike Se-hee, who was immersed in happiness, Jin-kyung’s expression was one of helplessness.

“Se-hee, our country still needs to undergo more changes for a single mom to raise a baby alone. You know better than anyone that there are many good people, but also many bad ones. Can you really handle it?”

Se-hee’s smile disappeared from her face, knowing what Jin-kyung was worried about. The words that had relentlessly followed Se-hee until she left that neighborhood.

‘Like mother, like daughter.’

‘They say dirty blood can’t be hidden, look how she lures men.’

‘That little thing, if she has nothing, she should at least be affectionate, but she’s so proud.’

The thoughtlessly uttered words of the neighbors, spoken for entertainment, had painfully clawed at Se-hee’s heart. As if it didn’t matter if the frog hit by a carelessly thrown stone bled profusely or died. Just because she was born her mother’s daughter and was dirt poor, she was constantly gossiped about. She had done nothing and merely stayed still. As she recalled her scarred past, she felt the venom re-coalesce, and Se-hee slowly opened her mouth.

“I can handle it. Because I’m different from my incompetent mother. Because I’m not the Joo Se-hee of the past. I’m going to be greedy for one thing I want.”

From the moment she was born until now, not a single thing had been permitted to her. A normal life, her parents’ love, her surroundings, her livelihood, acquaintances, not even love. Amidst that, it was a desperate wish, realized with a slim chance.

“Se-hee.”

“Jin-kyung, I know you’re worried about me. But please listen to me first.”

Se-hee felt wronged. If she had to give up Seo Kang-joon, and then give up that wish too, it would be too harsh on her. For her, who would be left alone, she deserved to have at least one family member whom she could love wholeheartedly and pour her everything into.

“I was actually scared. When I thought about it, my whole life revolved around my aunt. What should I do after I bring her down? I asked myself, and I didn’t know. I didn’t even know I’d be this pathetic.”

Indeed, her entire 29 years of life had been just about her aunt. If the life she had poured 29 years into disappeared. And if her grandmother passed away too. Then what would she do? She felt vaguely afraid, desperate, and lost her sense of direction in life. She didn’t know how to enjoy life, how to spend money, and her relationships were a mess. To such a Se-hee, the baby’s existence was a newly given life goal, hope, and everything.

“I’m sorry to the baby that it wasn’t born into a normal family because of my selfish greed. But I wanted this baby to survive. I will love it more than my own life, and I’m confident I’ll live the rest of my life for this baby.”

Se-hee smiled beautifully, as if to make Jin-kyung’s worries meaningless. Happily, like someone who had everything in the world. Jin-kyung was worried about Se-hee, yet she understood her heart. Yes, if not me, who would believe in and support you, Joo Se-hee? Jin-kyung sprang up, went to Se-hee, and hugged her tightly.

“Joo Se-hee, you are absolutely not alone, you know? You have me, and you have Jin-woo oppa.”

Jin-kyung patted Se-hee’s thin back and then asked carefully again.

“But you’re not going to tell him, are you?”

“He’s not the kind of man who wouldn’t know even if I hid it.”

Se-hee sighed softly, as if frustrated by this part.

“Joo, sometimes not knowing is a blessing, you know? Especially since he’s your stepsister’s husband.”

Jin-kyung’s last words sounded somehow cautious. She knew Se-hee’s psychological trauma.

“Jin-kyung, Kang-joon divorced my sister. He wants to marry me.”

Though surprised, Jin-kyung breathed a sigh of relief at Se-hee’s words. Yes, Joo Se-hee also has the right to be happy...?

“But I’m not going to marry Mr. Kang-joon.”

“What?! No, why on earth? For what reason?”

“Mr. Kang-joon is going to be the successor of Hanshin Group.”

“Wait, Hanshin... You mean Seo Kang-joon, the CEO of Hanshin Motors?”

Jin-kyung’s mouth dropped open. She had thought that since it was the Inno Group, the son-in-law would be from a similar mid-sized company. But to think that the Mr. Kang-joon Joo Se-hee had been talking about all this time was Hanshin’s Seo Kang-joon.

“Why should I dump my problems on the Hanshin family? I don’t want to cause such trouble. And my aunt knows. That means I and the baby could become a weakness for him.”

Se-hee knew well what Ms. Jo detested and feared terribly. Becoming the daughter-in-law of the Hanshin family proudly, under the name Joo Se-hee. Even if she was thrown into the gutter, her eyes would turn bloodshot, and she would make a final desperate attempt. She would attack with the resolve to die, trying to ruin her and Seo Kang-joon. She hated their personal bad karma spreading to Kang-joon, but more than anything, she had to make a decision for the baby.

“I want my baby to grow up normally and be happy, unlike me or him. But if it’s born into the Hanshin family, that won’t happen. Even more so if the baby’s mother is a woman like me. So, for the baby’s sake, I have to give him up. If only I give up, he and the baby can be happy.”

Se-hee had already made up her mind firmly, and Jin-kyung merely felt sad for her. How can your beloved man not be ordinary? Why do you always have to make love so difficult? She was tenacious from all the pain she had endured, but her heart was soft. She hated harming others to death, and she was a fool who was endlessly generous to those she opened her heart to. If she was like that even to herself, how much more so to the man she loved? She wouldn’t want to cause him even a speck of harm. This is why people shouldn’t think too deeply, be too considerate, and have too much pride. If it were me, I’d dump everything on that capable man without thinking twice. I’d be happy like a frog in a well, nestled in his cozy embrace. If something bad comes up, I’ll just not see it, not hear it, and that’s that. Se-hee gave Jin-kyung a sorrowful smile as Jin-kyung hesitated, not knowing what to say.

“Jin-kyung, I’m confident. So, can’t you just be on my side? Can’t you tell me it’s okay?”

Instead of answering, Jin-kyung hugged Se-hee tightly again. She felt sorry for her friend, who was exhausted from living so fiercely and tenaciously until now. She wondered how lonely and afraid she must have been to even think such thoughts. Her friend, who effortlessly handled everything alone, couldn’t manage to be ordinary and happy herself. Why can’t you do what everyone else does so casually? Nevertheless, Jin-kyung earnestly wished. That the Hanshin heir would be a more tenacious and persistent man than Joo Se-hee. So that he would eventually persuade Joo Se-hee and marry her. And take care of everything and make both Joo Se-hee and the baby happy.

________________________________________

The next morning, Se-hee visited an obstetrician to confirm her pregnancy. Three months, to be exact, 11 weeks. She heard the baby’s overwhelming heartbeat and received a black and white ultrasound photo. After that, she immediately contacted Kang-joon, and they agreed to meet in the evening. More precisely, she agreed to Kang-joon’s offer to pick her up in front of her house. Sitting on a terrace chair bathed in languid sunlight, she searched for articles about Seo Kang-joon on a portal site. Among the companies that accompanied the president on his visit to the US, Hanshin Motors was the subject of intense media attention. All South Korean citizens knew that Chairman Seo’s only grandson would become Hanshin’s successor. However, since there had been no official announcement, his face was not explicitly revealed. But judging from the news articles, it seemed Hanshin was about to officially announce Kang-joon as the successor soon. Then, it would only be a matter of time before his face became known, and all media attention would flock to Kang-joon. With his splendid background and perfect visuals, it was obvious he would become a greater celebrity than entertainers. Now, even the passage of time seemed to whisper to Se-hee to give up Seo Kang-joon. Telling her that Seo Kang-joon was not a man she could dare to handle, nor was it a life the baby could handle. Furthermore, she had no intention of being looked down upon by her aunt. So that her aunt could never say that she, too, was nothing more than a dirty existence, no different from her mother. That’s why Se-hee intended to settle things with Kang-joon today. Whatever it was, all of it, today. She didn’t want to drag things out, and she didn’t want to waver. *** At 7 PM, Kang-joon called. When she left her house, a sleek SUV was parked at the villa entrance. It was the car Kang-joon drove when he drove himself. Se-hee sat in the passenger seat, closed the door, and calmly composed herself, looking straight ahead. She didn’t want to prolong the conversation, nor did she want to beat around the bush. So, she would get straight to the point.

“Mr. Kang-joon.”

“That’s enough. I’ll wait, so think more and then answer.”

As if knowing what her answer would be, Kang-joon calmly cut her off. But Se-hee had no intention of stopping.

“Don’t wait. I have absolutely no intention of marrying you, Mr. Kang-joon.”

Only then did Kang-joon, with a bewildered expression, ask calmly.

“Why can’t you accept the obvious?”

“Why is marrying you obvious? Isn’t that too arrogant a thought?”

As Se-hee retorted without backing down, Kang-joon angled his body towards the passenger seat.

“Listen, Ms. Joo Se-hee.”

What? What. As Se-hee stared intently with a prim gaze, Kang-joon’s eyes narrowed. As if to say, Look at this.

“We had a wedding, lived in the same house, and slept in the same bed. Is that all? We had very intense sex...”

“Stop! Say one more word, and I’m getting out of this car right now.”

You perverted tiger! As Se-hee widened her eyes and threatened him in a whispered voice, Kang-joon chuckled softly. His laughter instantly softened the serious atmosphere. Kang-joon moved closer to Se-hee, who was huffing with unjustified indignation.

“I clearly said we are now an unbreakable married couple, and Joo Se-hee didn’t refuse.”

His deep baritone voice, devoid of any playfulness, tightened around Se-hee like an invisible noose.

“So, Ms. Joo Se-hee. You have to take responsibility.”

It was as if he was whispering, I’ll never let you go, so you should give up. But Se-hee couldn’t back down either. For the sake of the baby in her womb, not for herself.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t take responsibility for you. I’ll break off that marital relationship first.”

At Se-hee’s stubborn reply, Kang-joon furrowed his handsome brow, leaned back, and said.

“I divorced your sister to approach you honorably, and I even persuaded my grandfather and mother. And yet, you still don’t want to marry me?”

“You told both of them too?”

“I only told them the absolutely necessary parts. That’s the only way persuasion is possible.”

Se-hee resented Kang-joon, who answered so nonchalantly. Why does this man always think everything is so easy? It might be nothing to you, but it’s a vulnerable point I want to hide. I wanted to leave a good impression on both of them. Why on earth? Kang-joon, with narrowed eyes, looked at Se-hee, whose pupils trembled, and asked again.

“Now answer me, Joo Se-hee. What on earth is the problem?”

Se-hee bit her lip. The problem isn’t you; it’s me. Just as everything is easy for you since you were born, everything is difficult for me. I’ve lived that way until now, and you and I are such different people. Just as love isn’t an indulgence, love doesn’t solve everything. Why don’t you, smart as you are, know that? That leaving me alone is the best way to make me comfortable. For that best, Se-hee once again hardened her resolve.

“Mr. Kang-joon.”

She stared intently at Kang-joon from behind her long eyelashes and slowly opened her mouth.

“I’m pregnant.”

I’m sorry, Mr. Kang-joon. Now, my baby is more precious to me than you are.