NILWM - 2

As soon as her mother arrived, she’d rush back home. During vacations, it was part-time work, and during semesters, preparing for school. Mornings were truly a battle. Some days, she’d even finish her school preparations beforehand and leave directly from the pharmacy.

That day, there were more morning customers than usual, making things even more hectic. Pharmacist Lee Kyung-eun entered the dispensary through the back door closer to 9 AM.

“Were there a lot of customers?”

“A few. Mom, since you’re here, I’ll go to my other part-time job now.”

“Just sit down for a moment, Ye-seo.”

Her mother, who had changed into a white pharmacist’s gown, grabbed her daughter, who was hurriedly putting on her coat, and made her sit down.

“Miss Jo, due to family matters, I have to leave by 6 PM for a while, so come straight here after your part-time job. Got it?”

“Oh... for how many days?”

“A week or two at most, I guess.”

Pharmacist Lee sighed, turned on the computer, and checked the list of medicines to order for the day. Her eyes were already sunken, even though the day had just begun.

She still looked young for her age and had delicate features, but these days, she seemed very tired, perhaps because she had been overworking the pharmacy hours. The only times she truly smiled were two or three times a year, when her twin brother Jeong-woo came to stay in Korea.

“Yes... I understand.”

Ye-seo calmly replied that she would. Even though she would have to work all day at the cafe and then again at the pharmacy until midnight, she couldn’t complain. As she put on her bag and tried to stand up again, Pharmacist Lee stopped her.

“Oh, right. About Jeong-woo, he’s coming to Korea briefly next week before the semester starts, since he couldn’t come during winter break in December.”

“Yes.”

“While Jeong-woo is here, let’s let him use your room. Hmm? He’s all grown up, how uncomfortable would it be for him to share a room with Mom? It’s uncomfortable for me too.”

This time, her answer didn’t come readily. It was unlikely that her mother, who practically lived at the pharmacy without holidays, would be uncomfortable. It was obvious Min Jeong-woo had nudged her.

“Why? You don’t want to? It’s only a week.”

“No, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I’m also busy with the new semester starting...”

Rather, precisely because it was only a week, couldn’t he just stay in Mom’s room where she only sleeps? She was flustered, wondering if he really had to be in her room.

“We can’t help it, can we? Even if we had no choice but to move to a two-room apartment because of his study abroad expenses, how sad must he be to not have his own room? Please spare a thought for your brother, studying hard in a foreign country. Hmm? Just let him use your room when he comes home once in a while.”

“......”

“Please do this for Mom. Hmm? You know how hard it is to support you and Jeong-woo when the pharmacy isn’t doing well these days. Life is so difficult, I’m dying. I’m just waiting for the day Jeong-woo safely graduates and can take care of himself.”

Ye-seo pursed her lips again. She swallowed the words she wanted to retort—that she should be excluded from “supporting you and Jeong-woo.”

She was scrambling not to miss a single scholarship for tuition, and her living expenses were entirely covered by part-time work, but she couldn’t deny living under her mother’s shadow. So, she didn’t bother to mention that Min Jeong-woo was living in a comfortable studio with expensive monthly rent in the US.

“Okay. I’ll do that...”

“Good. Take care of Jeong-woo. He’s been weak since he was little, that’s why he couldn’t even properly retake his entrance exams and had to be sent somewhere far away, didn’t he? He’s struggling by himself far away, so even when he comes occasionally, treat him like a younger brother and take good care of him.”

The contradictory demand—to sometimes take care of him like an older brother, sometimes like a younger brother—pierced her heart.

Mom, then what about me? Why do I always have to be the one taking care? Taking care, understanding, being considerate, always giving in...

Before Min Jeong-woo left to study abroad in the US, she had once protested like that. Back then, her mother’s eyes widened in disbelief, and she eventually burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“How can you be so selfish? Don’t you feel sorry for your brother? He’s weak and couldn’t study properly, couldn’t even retake his exams, and no matter how I look at it, there’s nowhere for him to go but America. And it breaks my heart that Mom couldn’t even build up his specs, so he ended up not going to a prestigious Ivy League university but somewhere nameless. But what about you? You’re attending the best university in Korea, eating warm meals and living comfortably at Mom’s house!”

Upon hearing the news of her acceptance, Pharmacist Lee had turned away with a sorrowful expression, constantly dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. At the time, she didn’t know. If only it were Jeong-woo instead of you, it would have been so much better. What will become of our Jeong-woo, disheartened and upset? She hadn’t realized at the time that those were her mother’s true feelings.

Since Min Jeong-woo left for America, her mother had never personally prepared meals only for her daughter. She would only cook rice and soup every few days, but Ye-seo never complained. She believed it was unthinkable for a grown child to be picky about food when her mother was working so hard alone. She also tried to understand that the reason her mother worked so hard was solely to support Jeong-woo.

“How much I rely on you and how much strength you give me. But if you’re like this, who can I trust? Hmm? Jeong-woo is like that, what am I supposed to do if you act so immaturely too! When your brother isn’t here, you’re the eldest daughter.”

“I’m sorry, Mom...”

In the end, the situation was settled with Ye-seo apologizing. After that, she always strived to be a good and sensible daughter, the eldest daughter her mother could rely on and feel secure with.

I just need to do better. I just need to...

Then her mother would love her as much as she cherished Jeong-woo. That was an unconscious belief that had always governed her daily life since childhood.

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Ye-seo arrived at the cafe in front of the school and, just like at the pharmacy, started cleaning first. Traces of the snow that had fallen a few days ago lay scattered on various paths leading to the campus entrance. The area in front of the school was quiet, as the semester hadn’t started yet, but it would likely become quite bustling in the afternoon with students from the lifelong learning center’s cultural programs.

Through the window, as she diligently wiped the frosted glass, looking at the lingering snow on the roof across the street, she saw a tall man in the distance. His face, lightly wrapped in a muffler, seemed incredibly small compared to his broadly angled shoulders and sturdy build.

Han Ju-hyeok...?

Her heart thumped. Han Ju-hyeok, who had appeared out of nowhere, walked towards the campus with a relaxed stride, one hand tucked into his coat. It seemed he had business again before the semester started. Ye-seo stopped wiping the window, admiring his tall, elongated profile.

She admired his model-perfect proportions and his dignified, elegant brisk walk for a moment, then Ye-seo was startled and furrowed her brows. Han Ju-hyeok suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at her. The moment their eyes met, Ye-seo gasped in surprise, quickly spun away from the window, and hid behind the counter.

Did he know I was staring? No, I was just cleaning the window...

Just then, the cheerful chime of the door opening rang out. Ye-seo was so flustered that she forgot to greet the customer and stammered, mouth agape. Han Ju-hyeok stood in the doorway.

“Oh, hel... no, welco...”

He walked straight to the counter and looked down at Ye-seo. He was so tall that she had to tilt her head way back to barely meet his gaze. He felt much larger than he had from a distance.

“A hot Cortado, please.”

“Pardon? Cort... what did you say?”

Han Ju-hyeok looked up at the black board where the menu was written in handwriting. Though it was called a cafe, it was more like a bakery primarily offering baked goods and bread, so there were only a few types of coffee on the menu. He calmly corrected his order.

“Today’s Coffee. Hot.”

“Ah, yes, yes. Takeout...”

“In a mug, please. I’ll drink it here.”

“What? Oh, yes. It’s discounted for morning time, so it’s 2,200 won.”

He’s drinking it here? He was on his way somewhere, so it wasn’t an urgent matter?

Ye-seo found herself flustered without realizing it. Her face inexplicably red, she fumbled as she returned his card, unable to look him directly in the eye. Even after taking his card and putting it away, Han Ju-hyeok didn’t go to a table but stood idly, watching her every move.

“Um... it’ll take a while, would you like to sit down?”

It was driving her crazy. She hadn’t committed a crime, but under his gaze, she constantly felt intimidated, like a criminal. He tore his inscrutable gaze away from her and directed his attention to the chocolates and jellies in front of the counter. His attitude was subtly arrogant, as if to say, Whether you invite me to sit or not, whether you get nervous and make mistakes under my gaze or not, it’s none of my business.

Ye-seo turned around and put the coffee beans into the grinder. The cafe was a small, independent shop, not a large franchise. It used the old method of grinding beans separately, so the first drip took at least 5 minutes.

Her fingertips felt clumsy, as if she were wearing thick gloves on all ten fingers. She felt like she might drop the cup at any moment, so Ye-seo barely managed to grip it and pull out a mug. Han Ju-hyeok, like a contrarian, ambled over to a corner table and sat down only when the coffee was fully brewed.

“Um... your coffee is ready.”

Han Ju-hyeok tilted his head and looked at her. His gaze was unusually long, causing Ye-seo to hastily add, flustered again,

“Um... it’s self-serve. You have to come and get it yourself...”

He was a current student, not a visitor, so there was no way he wouldn’t know it was self-serve. Surely, he hadn’t forgotten after a year away.

Han Ju-hyeok slowly walked back to the counter and gazed intently at her. He was incredibly handsome, but his gaze was maddeningly suffocating.