NILWM - 10

“It was very comfortable, but... at the same time, it was uncomfortable.”

And then he fell silent for a moment. Han Jong-han didn’t press him on why it was uncomfortable. It seemed he hadn’t intended to spend so much time with that junior from the beginning. So, did he mean he felt uncomfortable precisely because of that unexpected comfort?

Perhaps it was due to other physical reactions. The kind of reactions a perfectly healthy man in his twenties would naturally feel when alone with someone he found attractive. Either way, it was quite an encouraging phenomenon.

“It was the first time I’ve simultaneously experienced such contradictory emotions.”

He added, his gaze fixed on the horizon beyond his cousin’s shoulder. His relaxed demeanor was fleeting; he had already adopted a distant, formal attitude, like a conversation in a consultation room. In a way, it was ironic. To reveal his most intimate thoughts, he was, conversely, stripping away personal intimacy.

Perhaps it was an unconscious effort to balance their rapport. Aside from their cousin relationship, it might have stemmed from a psychological expectation of more precise analysis and accurate meaning as counselor and client, an unconscious feeling.

“I wanted to see what it would be like the next time we met. Whether it would still be comfortable yet uncomfortable, or if I would feel something more.”

“I think such a desire is perfectly natural. Perhaps the other person felt the same way you did.”

“Ah, really?”

Ju-hyeok’s eyes sparkled for a moment. He seemed not to have considered that possibility.

“That could be the case.”

Han Jong-han nodded, looking at the melting ice in his cup.

He waited for the patient’s story to continue, but Ju-hyeok said no more. It seemed that was all for today. Han Jong-han hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke his mind.

“By the way, I haven’t seen you smile like this in a really long time. No... is this the first time?”

He earnestly reflected on the past, wondering if he had ever seen it before, but it seemed he hadn’t.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you... look so happy talking about someone else.”

“...Was I?”

The next moment, he fell silent for some reason. His face, which had been warm, gradually returned to its usual expressionless mask, as if fading out of a scene.

“Are all the elders well? I saw grandfather with Mother recently.”

Would he have a closer relationship with that junior by their next session? It didn’t seem impossible. Especially if that comfortable yet uncomfortable feeling solidified into something more definite.

Han Jong-han changed the subject to his family’s well-being, bringing the counseling conversation to a close. He sincerely hoped that the junior’s presence would be a boon, not a bane, to Ju-hyeok. Of course, Ju-hyeok should also be a good person to that female student.

Regrettably, he couldn’t be certain about that last part.

________________________________________

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About two weeks passed since then. The busy mid-term exam period was over, and as the May spring festival approached, everyone felt a sense of excitement. Chae-rin, an executive member of the student council, and her classmates were enthusiastically preparing, filled with anticipation.

Ye-seo quietly sighed as she entered the lecture hall. Originally, she had planned to actively participate in the student council herself. Rather than building connections and gaining information, it was more out of a desire to experience the joy of meeting diverse people and the expectation that it would be a fruitful experience in many ways.

However, recalling her mother’s request for her to help more at the pharmacy during the festival period and her dwindling bank balance, she had no choice but to give up on that wish once again.

-”During the festival, some classes will be canceled, right? That’s great. Miss Jo, I’ll give you your vacation then, so you come in. Anyway, these days everyone’s focused on building specs for job hunting, and it’s all about individualism, so the festival doesn’t really mean much, and its scale has shrunk significantly.”

When her mother saw her about to protest, she began to lament that ever since a large pharmacy opened across the street recently, their already sparse customers were dwindling further. There was nothing she could do.

She had secured a seat for Chae-rin and was sitting glumly when she suddenly felt a gaze. The moment she raised her head, her eyes met Han Ju-hyeok’s. He was standing by the window, watching her.

Just before the senior students around him turned their heads towards Ye-seo, following his gaze, Han Ju-hyeok quickly turned his head and said something. The seniors then reacted with delight, murmuring amongst themselves. It seemed Han Ju-hyeok had deliberately brought up a topic to divert their attention.

Ye-seo hastily opened her textbook and pretended to look at a random page. Her earlobes were burning, unbearable.

Over the past two weeks, there had been quite a few such moments. Each time, as if under a spell, she couldn’t avoid his gaze, which intertwined with hers. It was always he who looked away first.

At first, he would quietly watch Ye-seo with an unreadable look, as if he had something to say or not, then, as soon as someone spoke to him or his phone rang, he would immediately leave or divert his attention as if on cue. Very occasionally, he would break eye contact and disappear without any external interruption.

There was no chance to ask him anything. She had thought about asking him if she ever ran into him in the department office, library, or hallway, but such an opportunity never arose.

The evening they spent together two weeks ago felt like a dream. Since then, she hadn’t encountered him directly. It was as if he was deliberately avoiding her.

That can’t be true. Why would Senior... avoid me?

Suddenly, something clicked in her mind. No way. Did I make some kind of... mistake that day? Something that would turn him off? Or was it because of the pen after all?

Ye-seo was staring blankly at the professor who was passionately lecturing when suddenly, students began to stand up and move around.

“Ye-seo, what are you doing! Are you sleeping with your eyes open?”

“Huh? Oh, no.”

It wasn’t until Chae-rin, sitting next to her, gently pinched her shoulder that she came back to her senses. As expected, the final group project, replacing the final exam, had been assigned. On the LCD screen, which the professor had briefly left, the topic “Research on Global Marketing Strategies in Preparation for Deglobalization and Supporting Case Studies” was displayed.

“Wow, what do we do? This assignment, the title alone is unprecedented. Hey, should we go?”

At Chae-rin’s call, Sae-eun, Gyeong-jun, Seung-bin, and Mi-ju shook their heads.

“Wait, we’ll come over.”

The classmates sitting in the front row hurriedly started packing their bags. Just then, two female students from the economics department, who were sitting behind them, approached Chae-rin.

“Can we join you? We didn’t have anywhere to go for the first team project, so we just did it among ourselves, but this assignment seems pretty difficult. The professor said five people per group is ideal, but four or up to six is okay.”

“Oh, but we already have people joining us, what should we do? We’re already six, so if we exceed the limit, it might not be allowed. If you go to another group that needs members...”

Chae-rin quickly looked around with a troubled expression, wondering if there were any empty spots in other groups. Given the difficulty of the assignment, she couldn’t give up her reliable classmates for students from other departments she didn’t know well. But other groups already had their full quota of members.

“It seems we have no choice. Let’s decide with rock-paper-scissors for all eight of us... Let’s do that.”

Ye-seo stood up. If they continued to dither, it was obvious the professor would return and intervene, assigning groups arbitrarily.

“No, I’m doing it with Ye-seo.”

“Me too, me too! I’ll definitely do it with Ye-seo.”

“I’ve been with Ye-seo since freshman year, we work so well together.”

As her friends showed no signs of giving up the chance to work with the high-achieving Ye-seo, the expressions of the female students from other departments gradually hardened. Just then, someone approached and stepped into their midst.

“Just a moment.”

Han Ju-hyeok looked around at the room with his usual calm expression.

“There are six of us too, so we’ll join this group. That makes fourteen in total, so if we divide into groups of five, five, and four, it’ll be fair, right? And the group members will be decided fairly by rock-paper-scissors.”

Silence fell for a moment. Everyone was dumbfounded and speechless. Even others who had already formed their groups and were sitting down were all watching them with interest. Even the senior students who had naturally been in Han Ju-hyeok’s group last time looked surprised.

“Ju-hyeok, why suddenly? We can just be a six-person group, and these friends can divide into two groups of four...”

“No. If we’re talking about fairness, this seems right.”

Just then, Park Sung-jun, Ju-hyeok’s close friend, intervened, and a quick discussion took place among the senior students surrounding Han Ju-hyeok.

“This assignment is pretty difficult, so the more people, the more advantageous, but a four-person group would be unfair, wouldn’t it?”

“The professor said earlier that if there was a four-person group, he’d take it into account.”

“Right. Exactly. If two four-person groups get bonus points, that would also ultimately go against fairness. Hey, don’t you know the professor’s style? He knows full well we have six-person groups like ours, would he really be so generous with bonus points?”

“You’re right.”

Just then, the professor suddenly pushed open the half-closed door and entered. Quickly grasping the situation, he pushed up his glasses and gave a mischievous expression.

“Did two four-person groups form? Then the bonus points are invalid. Form groups of up to five people, as many as possible, within five minutes.”

He sat behind the podium, picked up his tumbler leisurely, looking pleased that he had an excuse for five more minutes of rest. The situation was over even before five minutes passed. As a result of the third-year class representative spinning a ladder game app, the fourteen people were neatly separated into three groups.

Sighs and despair escaped simultaneously. Students who had already formed their groups and were sitting down watched them with fascination.

“Wait a minute. The top two students in the department are both in one group? Can’t we do this again?”

“Gasp! What the! Senior Ju-hyeok and Ye-seo are in the same group? Wow, this is a bit much... What are we going to do if both brains leave us!”

“Just leave it as it is. It’s the result of a lottery.”

As the professor showed signs of putting down his tumbler and standing up, Han Ju-hyeok calmly stepped forward.

“Maybe not Ye-seo, but I’m not an ace anymore. My brain doesn’t work well because I often take leaves of absence.”

“Huh...? Didn’t you get an A+ in International Business Management last time, ahead of fourth-year students?”

“That was mostly memorization. Memorizing is something everyone does on their own anyway, but I’m weak at these brainstorming-style assignments.”

“What? Are you serious?”

Just then, the professor stood at the podium again and called for attention.

“Alright, if you’ve finished forming your groups, sit down. I’ll explain more about the assignment, and I’ll take questions 10 minutes before the end of class, so you can sit in your groups.”

Everyone moved in an orderly fashion. Han Ju-hyeok returned to his seat, gathered his bag, and moved to the seat behind Ye-seo.