WIFTY - 61

It turns out… I’ve never been good enough.
She just never said it.
—Zhang Lurang

The barbecue restaurant was bustling with noise.

Under the warm yellow light, the sounds around them blended together, creating a cozy atmosphere.

The world around them seemed far, far away.

The Zhang Lurang in front of her had grown more mature over the years, his facial features sharper and colder.

The strands of hair that used to cover his eyebrows were now cut short, losing some of their lazy charm but gaining a clean-cut appearance.

Though he was surrounded by this lively commotion, he seemed untouchable, as if he didn’t belong to this earthly realm.

A clear sense of distance lingered around him.

Yet, just moments ago, this same person had confessed to her with a serious expression.

Su Zaizai’s heart warmed, and she suddenly called out to him: “Rang Rang.”

At the sound of her voice, Zhang Lurang raised his brows slightly, as if waiting for her next words.

Seeing that Su Zaizai hadn’t continued, he glanced at the several empty plates on the table and asked, “Are you still hungry?”

That one sentence shattered all barriers between them.

“Give me your WeChat,” Su Zaizai abruptly changed the subject.

Zhang Lurang paused, not asking further questions, and instinctively handed her the phone on the table.

Su Zaizai smiled, her eyes crinkling, but didn’t take it. Instead, she responded to his earlier question: “Yes, I’m still hungry.”

Zhang Lurang gave her a puzzled look, then hummed softly in acknowledgment.

He placed the phone back where it was and added a few more pieces of meat onto the grill.

Su Zaizai rested her chin on her hand, watching his movements.

His long fingers held an iron brush, moving slowly and methodically, cleaning off the leftover bits from the grill. Occasionally, he flipped the meat with tongs and brushed it with barbecue oil.

Noticing that he hadn’t touched much of his food, Su Zaizai lowered her head, picked up a piece of meat from her bowl, and held it to his lips.

Zhang Lurang took a bite, chewing slowly.

Afterward, Su Zaizai picked up another pair of tongs, transferred the grilled meat to his bowl, and said, “Rang Rang, have you thought about the timing?”

Zhang Lurang paused his actions, confused: “What timing?”

She didn’t explain, continuing instead: “Tell me in advance so I can dress up nicely.”

This statement, combined with their earlier conversation, made Zhang Lurang instantly understand.

He hesitated for a moment and asked, “Do we need to plan this ahead of time?”

“If you want, I can even teach you how to do it properly.”

Zhang Lurang had initially been asking seriously, but upon hearing her words, he quickly retracted his thoughts.

He glanced at her and said firmly, “I don’t need you to teach me.”

Su Zaizai didn’t pay much attention to his response, still wearing a cheerful smile, her mood clearly uplifted.

“I feel like things are already great the way they are.”

“Find a time to propose, or I’ll do it if you don’t.”

“Then after graduation, we’ll get our marriage certificate. Slowly save money for the wedding and buy a house.”

At this point, she paused, looking deeply wistful.

“Our names will be tied together forever.”

“Like that, for a lifetime.”

Suddenly, Zhang Lurang couldn’t speak.

He stared into Su Zaizai’s eyes, his lips trembling slightly.

“In that case, you’ll have to live with me while we rent a place.”

Su Zaizai was momentarily stunned, not understanding why he wasn’t giving her the affirmative response she expected like before.

She didn’t think too much of it, though, and looked earnestly into his eyes: “That would be wonderful too.”

No matter what, she thought everything was perfect.

Zhang Lurang fell silent, murmuring, “If only I were a few years older…”

Then, he could confidently wait for her to graduate and give her a bright future.

Let her live without any burden because she would have him as her support.

That would be ideal.

He wanted her to live happily for the rest of her life.

He didn’t want her vibrant and lively spirit to be gradually worn down by stepping out of school into a competitive and ruthless world.

“Huh? You’re already one year older than me.”

Zhang Lurang’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he said seriously, “After graduation, give me two years.”

Hearing this, Su Zaizai’s expression froze, and she asked, bewildered: “What do you plan to do?”

“All the things others have, I want to give to you.” His voice was hoarse, as if fearing she might feel unhappy, tinged with carefulness. “All the things others don’t have, I want to give to you too.”

After hearing his words, Su Zaizai instantly understood what he meant.

Her gaze slowly lowered, her thick lashes concealing her emotions.

For the first time, she couldn’t comprehend his thoughts.

Su Zaizai poked at the meat in her bowl with her chopsticks, her voice tinged with coldness: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Why do you have to shoulder all the effort for a better life alone…”

Zhang Lurang didn’t know how to express his feelings.

Silence fell over the table.

Su Zaizai couldn’t bear the oppressive atmosphere. She bit her lip and placed her chopsticks on the table.

When she raised her eyes again, her eyelids were already tinged with red, brimming with tears.

Holding back her sobs, she asked: “Is it only me who thinks this way?”

Every single memory flashed through her mind one by one.

——”You still refuse to give me a title.”

——”Then kiss me once, and I’ll let you go.”

——”If you want to come with me, you have to stay in the same hotel room as me.”

Zhang Lurang panicked, immediately grabbing a few tissues and standing up to walk beside her.

Before he could say anything, Su Zaizai stood up, whimpering: “Everything is only what I want.”

With that, she pushed him aside and walked toward the door.

Her tone, her reaction, her two sentences—

It was as if emotions had been building up for a long time, yet also as if it was just a sudden outburst.

Zhang Lurang’s breath caught, his heart feeling as though it were being gnawed by insects or tightly squeezed by someone. The pain was unbearable, making it hard for him to breathe.

He grabbed Su Zaizai’s bag from the chair and quickly followed her.

Su Zaizai had a poor sense of direction. After exiting, she turned left and walked forward with her head down.

It happened to be a busy street, and she pushed through the crowd, blindly walking forward.

Zhang Lurang quickly caught up, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into his arms.

She didn’t resist or speak.

Zhang Lurang placed his palm on the back of her head, softly consoling her: “Don’t cry.”

There were too many people around, so Zhang Lurang hesitated for a moment before pulling her back the way they came.

Su Zaizai obediently followed behind him.

Once they reached a quieter area, Su Zaizai suddenly shook off his hand and walked to the side of the road to hail a taxi.

Zhang Lurang pulled her back again, his voice filled with pleading: “Zaizai…”

Tears continued to fall from Su Zaizai’s eyes, but her movements gradually slowed to a stop.

She remained silent, as if waiting for him to explain.

Zhang Lurang reached out to wipe her tears, helplessly saying: “Don’t cry. Then… shall we get married after graduation? No need to wait two years… I…”

He just needed to try a little harder.

It didn’t matter if he wasn’t doing well, as long as she could live happily.

But Zhang Lurang’s words did nothing to cheer Su Zaizai up.

Su Zaizai sniffled, extending her other hand to push his away.

Each word dripped with intense emotion.

“Zhang Lurang.”

“Everything is forced out of you by me.”

Zhang Lurang’s lips trembled, but before he could offer an explanation—

Su Zaizai covered her eyes with one hand and spoke again.

“You’re unwilling to take the initiative, so I do it. I thought it didn’t matter.”

“I knew you couldn’t handle these things, so I took care of everything. I really thought it didn’t matter.”

“But as time passed, I started to wonder if I was right to do so.”

Tears flowed from Su Zaizai’s eyes through the gaps between her fingers.

Her voice was calm, as if nothing had happened, yet it carried a profound sense of humility, like dust settling into the earth.

“I also wondered…”

Her voice broke, choked with emotion: “Are you truly unwilling?”