#36: If You Didn’t Come, I’d Come Looking For You

Outside the room window, a streak of orange-red hung in the distant sky.

It flickered in the last hint of dimness before being swallowed by the night.

On the floor, tongues of fire licked at the paper, spreading, consuming, burning everything beyond recognition.

Cheng Mi’s face was half-lit, half-darkened by the firelight.

The embers glowed, as if they couldn’t burn away that past.

After Si Tingyan spoke, he remained standing at the doorway.

Cheng Mi loosened her grip slightly, and the half-smoked cigarette, still glowing with a spark, was lightly tossed into the flames.

She moved a little further from the firelight. The light on the floor was faint, and stepping back just a bit plunged her into darkness.

As she got up and walked towards Si Tingyan, the zipper of her school uniform jacket was silently pulled all the way up, concealing the red marks Chen Zhaochi had left on her neck.

Cheng Mi showed little change compared to usual. Her steps towards Si Tingyan were unhurried, carrying a casual nonchalance.

As the distance closed, Si Tingyan’s figure at the doorway became clearer in Cheng Mi’s eyes.

Though still veiled by the blur of night.

Cheng Mi slowly stopped in front of Si Tingyan.

Her breath drew closer to him, her lips slowly and lightly touching his face, leaving a gentle kiss.

“Did you come looking for me?”

The night was like wine in a glass, shaken into a chaotic blur.

But Cheng Mi could still feel the substantial gaze from Si Tingyan’s dark eyes.

Deep and sharp, as if wanting to lock her down.

She was about to touch his face again.

Si Tingyan spoke: “Why didn’t you come to find me today?”

Cheng Mi’s lips paused slightly, pulling back a tiny breath to look into his eyes.

A few seconds later, she answered with a question: “You waited for me there until this late?”

As she spoke, her two arms habitually climbed around Si Tingyan’s neck, hanging there softly, bonelessly.

She then asked him: “Is anyone else still in your classroom?”

Si Tingyan didn’t speak, just looked directly at her face.

Cheng Mi didn’t wait for his answer; the night made her voice sound a little lazy: “Hmm?”

After a few seconds of eye contact, Si Tingyan looked directly into her eyes and said one sentence.

“If you didn’t come, I’d come looking for you.”

These words made the relaxed expression on Cheng Mi’s face tighten slightly. She tried to discern something in Si Tingyan’s eyes.

Sometimes Cheng Mi felt that there was something disconnected between her and Si Tingyan.

And the rope was on Si Tingyan’s side, but she couldn’t feel the other end at all.

Or rather, sometimes Si Tingyan’s feelings for her exceeded her understanding.

She knew she had the ability to drive boys crazy with desire, but Si Tingyan was clearly not the promiscuous type.

Yet Cheng Mi was exceptionally clear that every word he said to her was true.

It was precisely because of this that she sometimes wondered if Si Tingyan had truly been hooked so easily by her mere flirtations, or perhaps, at first, not even flirtation, simply by her face.

Si Tingyan had always been paying attention to her, even when she and Li Zhiyu first got together.

That time they encountered Si Tingyan and Li Zhiyu talking at school, Si Tingyan had already made it clear that even before Cheng Mi took that kissing photo of Li Zhiyu and Chu Xinhe, and even before Cheng Mi had any ulterior motives towards him, he had already been slowly reeling her in.

Si Tingyan’s personality truly was that of someone who would do such a thing.

However, sometimes Cheng Mi was curious about what exactly about her had touched Si Tingyan.

Cheng Mi thought this and then asked it. She usually didn’t hide anything, being the opposite extreme to Si Tingyan. Although she knew Si Tingyan wouldn’t say, she would still ask.

Even knowing it wasn’t the time to ask, Cheng Mi still asked.

“Si Tingyan,” Cheng Mi asked him, “When did you first notice me?”

Si Tingyan looked at her.

Cheng Mi said: “That night I first came to your house?”

“That time in the bathroom?”

“Or that time we sat and ate together.”

The lingering fire on the ground completely turned to ashes.

After she finished speaking, there was silence.

Si Tingyan just looked at her, saying nothing.

Cheng Mi suddenly smiled: “I knew you wouldn’t say.”

She teased him again, leaning close to his lips: “Why are you so shy?”

She didn’t know what it was about her questions that provoked Si Tingyan, but her lips were then heavily bitten by him.

A sharp sting, but Cheng Mi didn’t pull away.

Si Tingyan showed no mercy with his lips, yet no trace of anger appeared on his face. He was very calm, a coldness that seeped with chill.

His gaze too, was sharply cold.

Cheng Mi neither dodged nor avoided, her brow twitching slightly.

It was just such a subtle movement, but the two-second stinging sensation on her lips disappeared without her realizing it.

A faint glow from the streetlight downstairs seeped into the room.

Cheng Mi could clearly see every inch of Si Tingyan’s face.

She didn’t move, still looking at him.

Si Tingyan’s skin retained its perpetually cool, pale tone.

His lips, which had been cold and sharp during their biting embrace, were now an inch away from hers.

His two lips barely touched, no longer on hers.

Cheng Mi knew Si Tingyan was exercising restraint.

She admitted that at this moment, she wanted to go crazy, to wildly kiss Si Tingyan.

But her reason was too clear.

Sometimes, being clear-headed was an immense pain and punishment.

However, the next second, her clarity was dragged into hell.

Si Tingyan pressed down, with the same stormy intensity, only this time the biting turned into a kiss.

Very hard, very fierce, almost as if it would make her soul leave her body.

Cheng Mi retreated into the room, but the force pressed close, and then the door slammed shut before her eyes.

Cheng Mi’s bed was not far from the door, just a few steps away. She was thrown onto the bed by Si Tingyan.

Her entire back hit the bedding, and after her body lightly bounced, Si Tingyan pressed closely against her.

However, this time, their words were no longer stifled. Instead, there was a rattling sound from the zipper at her neck.

Cheng Mi instantly knew what Si Tingyan was going to do.

He wasn’t going to do anything to her, it was simply that he had noticed her unusual state earlier.

Although Si Tingyan’s thoughts certainly contained lust, he wouldn’t act out of line in this situation.

Precisely because it wasn’t the latter, Cheng Mi quickly grabbed the collar of her school uniform, not letting go in the slightest.

Si Tingyan was stronger than her, but Cheng Mi held on tightly.

The red marks Chen Zhaochi had left on her neck could be seen by anyone, except Si Tingyan. Only Si Tingyan must not see them.

With Chen Zhaochi out of detention and back after her, the danger to Cheng Mi wasn’t just Chen Zhaochi.

There was another one: Si Tingyan.

Si Tingyan’s personality, setting aside good or bad, was in some ways similar to Chen Zhaochi’s.

However, they would never walk the same path.

Si Tingyan’s path was violently bright; darkness was under his feet, and he was its master.

As for Chen Zhaochi, his path was obscured by branches; he was a ghost beneath darkness’s throne.

But it was precisely people like Si Tingyan who could easily fall into hell with a single misguided thought. He could master darkness, or he could let it control him.

Cheng Mi was unsure if Si Tingyan would be pulled by her onto a different path.

If someone with Si Tingyan’s personality went mad, then it wouldn’t be Cheng Mi worrying about Chen Zhaochi coming after Si Tingyan.

Instead, even if Chen Zhaochi didn’t move, he himself would come looking for trouble.

Once these two collided, everything Si Tingyan had would be destroyed.

Cheng Mi gripped her collar tightly: “Si Tingyan, let go.”

Si Tingyan glared at her: “You first tell me, what is it you can’t let me see?”

A few strands of Cheng Mi’s messy hair clung to the corner of her lips. She looked at him from beneath him: “I’m not wearing anything underneath.”

Si Tingyan looked into her eyes, as if discerning the truth in her words.

But in this aspect, Si Tingyan had always been her defeated opponent.

Cheng Mi’s tone was calm: “You know, Si Tingyan, I’m very afraid of heat, and very lazy.”

Cheng Mi wasn’t lazy about important matters, but she couldn’t escape human laziness in small things. When doing homework with Si Tingyan, she would lie on his bed and read, asking him to hand her water nine out of ten times.

She didn’t easily relax, but in a relaxed state, she would become utterly lazy. She even asked Si Tingyan if she could borrow a robot to help her fetch things and bring her water.

Of course, she was just joking. Si Tingyan’s precious gadgets were all for competitions and winning awards; Cheng Mi wouldn’t mess around with them.

Cheng Mi looked at Si Tingyan: “I told you, sometimes when I don’t feel like moving, I don’t even bother to wear clothes.”

She added: “Although it’s nothing to show you.”

She was willing, but someone like Si Tingyan would definitely do something if he saw.

“But I don’t really feel like it right now.”

Normally, Cheng Mi, with her seductive charm, wouldn’t end the conversation so abruptly.

Some things would make her lose control, like Si Tingyan.

But today, she ended it cleanly and decisively.

It was clear that Si Tingyan also realized this problem.

It was still the same face, the same expression, but Cheng Mi, lying beneath him, inexplicably felt a surge of low pressure.

It almost made her gasp for breath.

But in the end, Si Tingyan only parted his lips: “If you don’t come to find me tomorrow...”

Cheng Mi froze for a moment before remembering what he was talking about; the problem had returned to its starting point.

He wanted her to wait for him, to seek him out.

Si Tingyan coldly tugged at her hand, which was gripping her collar: “I will definitely take it off tomorrow.”

After speaking, he didn’t look at her again and got up.

As he turned, he paused, his gaze falling on a certain spot.

Cheng Mi had been watching him. As she sat up, she followed his gaze.

On the chair beside the dressing table, there was a basketball.

Si Tingyan was looking at the basketball.

The word “Li” was written on the basketball; it was Li Yeheng’s, which Cheng Mi had taken from Li Yeheng back then.

She shifted her gaze from the basketball to Si Tingyan’s back.

She couldn’t see his expression. He turned and walked out of her room. Soon, the door opened and then closed before her eyes.

________________________________________

After that door closed, neither Cheng Mi nor Si Tingyan emerged from their respective rooms again.

The pile of burnt ashes lay on the floor; Cheng Mi didn’t bother with it.

She sat by the window, lit another cigarette, continuing the half-smoked one she hadn’t finished earlier.

By the time the last of the ash fell, and the wind had completely blown away the scent of tobacco from her, her phone on the desk vibrated.

In the darkness, the screen light was exceptionally bright.

Cheng Mi turned to look, then walked over, turned on the desk lamp, and picked up her phone to see.

It was a message from Li Yeheng.

[Coming back from my business trip tomorrow, returning to Fengxun. Do you need Uncle to bring anything back for you?]

Cheng Mi paused for a moment. She and Li Yeheng hadn’t been in touch for a long time.

When she was sent here by Li Yeheng, he was supposed to be on a business trip abroad for over a month.

Coming back tomorrow? Had over a month really passed so quickly?

Her room door was suddenly knocked. Cheng Mi snapped out of her thoughts; it was Si Huiru calling her for dinner.

Cheng Mi acknowledged her, stepped out of her room, and soon Si Tingyan also emerged. Cheng Mi glanced at him.

At the dinner table, Si Huiru told them: “Your uncle is coming back tomorrow.”

Cheng Mi didn’t notice Si Tingyan’s chopsticks pause across from her.

Si Huiru was clearly happy, smiling as she asked Cheng Mi: “Your uncle probably told you already?”

Cheng Mi also smiled at her: “Mhm, he did.”

Just then, Cheng Mi felt Si Tingyan’s gaze on her.

Cheng Mi looked back at him.

Under the light, Si Tingyan’s eyes were exceptionally dark and deep, but this time, they no longer held hidden turmoil as usual.

There was no overwhelming rage, just a heavy emotion seeping out from his eyes.

Cheng Mi didn’t know what he was thinking, but she still looked at him.

After a long moment, Si Tingyan’s eyes coldly shifted away from her face.