NILWM - 5

She texted her best friend Hyun-ju that she wouldn’t be able to make it to morning classes and lay down again. When she woke up after a long sleep, it was just past noon. Her body was so chilled that her teeth chattered. No matter how many layers of clothes she put on or how many blankets she pulled over herself, the chills wouldn’t go away. She didn’t even have the strength to go to the hospital.

Ye-seo opened the cupboard, took out instant rice, seaweed, and a can of tuna, and slowly, with dying hands, warmed the rice. She had no appetite, but she had to eat something before taking medicine. As she struggled to push the rice into her mouth with unsteady hands, tears suddenly welled up from a wave of sadness.

She couldn’t help but feel hurt by Pharmacist Lee’s attitude, who seemed to worry more about the pharmacy than her daughter. Would she have been like that if Jeong-woo had been sick? Her twin brother, even if he coughed a few times, was treated as if he had a serious illness. Her mother would personally take him to the hospital and lovingly cook him porridge, doting on him.

Ye-seo managed to finish about half of the instant rice and took the medicine. It seemed she wouldn’t be able to go to afternoon classes either. She squeezed out enough strength to type, ‘Can’t make afternoon either. Please share notes later,’ and then got a call from Hyun-ju.

“Ye-seo, are you very sick? Are you okay?”

Her friend’s worried voice still brought some comfort.

“It’s just body aches. I’ll be better tomorrow...”

“The Marketing Management group project was assigned today, and I put your name in our group. Everyone was clinging to Senior Han Ju-hyeok, making such a fuss. Ugh... they just want an easy ride. Anyway, get plenty of rest and you absolutely have to come tomorrow. Got it?”

“Got it...”

“Oh, right. Did you eat properly? Should I bring you something?”

“No, I ate. And I took medicine... I’m going to sleep now. Thanks.”

Hyun-ju nagged a bit more, then hung up. As soon as Ye-seo weakly rested her head on the pillow, her eyes softly closed. Her consciousness seemed to be pulled into a deep, bottomless black hole for a moment.

Was it because she heard it during the call with Hyun-ju? Suddenly, Senior Han Ju-hyeok’s face vividly appeared in her slowly fading consciousness. After returning the money, she had no further contact with him. She quit her cafe part-time job as soon as the semester started, and they weren’t close enough for her to intentionally seek him out and act familiar.

However, she occasionally felt his gaze in the only class they shared. It could have been her imagination. But whenever she turned her head due to an indescribable feeling, Han Ju-hyeok was always there. Their eyes had never met directly.

Han Ju-hyeok would simply be sitting at his usual desk, gazing out the window at some distant place, or looking down at a book on his desk. He never once looked back at her until she turned her head away.

That was how it had been until recently. But three days ago, it was different. Their gazes met from the very beginning, as if he had anticipated she would look back. She couldn’t forget that moment when her heart suddenly sank and time seemed to stop.

He was propping his chin with one hand, gazing at Ye-seo with an unreadable, emotionless look. It was a straight, unhesitating gaze that seemed to penetrate her inner self, which she herself was unaware of.

Ye-seo stared at him for a few seconds, as if possessed, then turned her head at Hyun-ju’s whisper. It was a peculiar moment, as if there was some meaning to it, even though there was none.

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Ju-hyeok avoided the people clinging to him like zombies, begging to be in the same group for the project, and headed far away to the emergency exit stairs. The Business Administration building and the Student Union building were connected by a 3rd-floor staircase. The Student Union study lounge was quiet and empty during lunchtime, a good place to be alone.

Then, a familiar name caught his ear.

“Wow, Ye-seo. Are you very sick? Are you okay?”

Min Ye-seo?

Ju-hyeok turned his head. Was it Min Ye-seo’s friend? The second-year female student who was always with her was sitting by the Student Union’s back entrance, talking on the phone with someone.

“Did you really eat? I mean, since it’s a pharmacy, you’d obviously have medicine, but when your twin brother isn’t home, you don’t even have rice at home, do you? Are you really okay? ...Okay. I’ll text you again tomorrow morning.”

When the call ended, another female student came over with two banana milks and abruptly asked,

“Ye-seo can’t come in the afternoon either? If that model student is skipping class, she must be really sick. What should we do? Should we go visit her at the hospital?”

“I was thinking of stopping by with some porridge tonight, but... I’m a bit hesitant because of her mom. She doesn’t like friends coming over, you know.”

“Really? She didn’t seem that way with Ye-seo’s brother. Last time her twin brother, who studied abroad in the US, came to Korea, she was on the phone rushing Ye-seo to come home quickly and help because she was inviting her brother’s friends over for dinner.”

“I don’t like badmouthing other people’s parents, but... Ye-seo’s family is a bit like that. To think there are still families that discriminate between sons and daughters like that these days. Sigh... Anyway, let’s just go eat first.”

“Wait a minute, I’m looking at the menu now... Wow! Today’s Art Center menu is truly art! Pork cutlet soba salad with 3 side dishes! Let’s go quickly, quickly!”

The female students disappeared quickly in the opposite direction, as if their feet were on fire. Only then did Ju-hyeok emerge from the shadows and slowly turn towards the Student Union. No wonder she wasn’t in class today. Was she sick after all?

Even after arriving at the secluded lounge, the conversation he had unintentionally overheard refused to leave his mind.

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After a full day’s rest, her head felt a little clearer. Still, the chills lingered, and the air felt colder from the miserable raindrops falling since morning, but she absolutely couldn’t afford to miss another day of classes.

Ye-seo was entering the campus before her morning class when Park Sung-jun was entering the Business Administration building with a coffee cup in his hand.

“Hello, Senior.”

“Oh! Ye-seo. You were sick yesterday, right? Are you okay? You look pale.”

“Yes, I’m fine...”

Ye-seo was about to say she was fine when she was startled to see Park Sung-jun fumbling around in his jacket’s inner pocket and pulling out a ziplock bag. It had been already two weeks, no, more than a month since she had given it to him, so why was it still there?

“Oh, damn it. I just found it in my pocket this morning! This is the jacket I only wear when it rains, so I completely forgot about it until now. I was going to give it to Ju-hyeok later, but I have a meeting with the professor right now. I’m worried I’ll forget again, so I’m sorry, but can you give it to him directly? I’m really sorry!”

“What? Oh...”

Park Sung-jun placed the ziplock bag back into her hand and hurried off somewhere. Ye-seo stared blankly at the clear bag containing 9,900 won, then sighed heavily. Now she understood the strange gaze from four days ago.

So that’s why he was looking. Because I hadn’t returned the money.

Then she shook her head again. No, that can’t be it...

She recalled Han Ju-hyeok confidently ordering various items at the cafe. He was always the type to act at his own pace, never caring what others thought or feeling inferior. If he had wanted the money back, wouldn’t he have asked for it first?

At that moment, she felt his gaze again. Han Ju-hyeok, who had just emerged from the Forum building, was staring intently at her. Ye-seo unconsciously brightened and almost ran towards him. He waited leisurely, with both hands in his pants pockets, until she reached him.

“Hello, Senior!”

“Hello.”

At his calm greeting, Ye-seo held out the ziplock bag she was holding.

“This... I’m returning the 9,900 won. You left 10,000 won for a 100-won shopping bag at R Cafe before the semester started, remember? I’m sorry for giving it to you so late.”

She didn’t mention that she had asked Senior Sung-jun to give it to him that day. Han Ju-hyeok simply looked down at the clear bag she offered, saying nothing. Seeing that he didn’t take his hands out of his pockets, it seemed as if he had no intention of accepting it.

What is it? Is he perhaps angry because I’m giving it to him so late?

Just then, Han Ju-hyeok suddenly let out a small laugh. Then he cupped her outstretched palm from below with one hand and curled her fingers inward with the other. Startled by the sudden touch, Ye-seo was momentarily lost in Han Ju-hyeok’s laughter.

It was the first time she had seen him smile. He had always been the type to twist one corner of his mouth into a sneer or a wry smile. This was the first time she had seen him truly smile.

“It’s fine, you keep it.”

“What? But...”

“It’s not 99,000 won or 990,000 won, it’s 9,900 won. You like coffee, don’t you? Use this to buy some.”

“Oh, Ye-seo! Perfect timing!”

Just then, a female student spotted Ye-seo and ran over excitedly, a document binder in one hand and a ballpoint pen in the other.

“You said you were going to apply for the summer campus part-time job, right? The assistant says the competition for librarian positions is already so fierce, it’s insane. Just in case, fill out your personal information by hand beforehand.”

“Oh... okay.”

Ye-seo put the ziplock bag with the money into her pocket for now and took the pen and binder. Han Ju-hyeok took a step back and moved aside as a third party intervened. But he didn’t turn and go his own way, he still remained there. The classmate who had handed her the binder mumbled “just a moment” as someone called her from behind, then scurried off again.

“This ballpoint pen seems to be out of ink. Nothing’s coming out...”

“Use this.”

Ye-seo reached into her bag for a writing implement, then looked up at him in surprise. A rather expensive-looking fountain pen had suddenly appeared from somewhere, and Han Ju-hyeok was holding it out directly in front of her with a calm expression.

“Oh. Th-thank you.”

She took the pen and was writing her name, department, and contact information on the binder. This time, Song Hyun-ju and Kang Chae-rin came rushing over from a distance. Hyun-ju, perhaps not seeing Han Ju-hyeok, immediately hugged Ye-seo as soon as she saw her, patting her back soothingly.

“Ye-seo! Thank goodness. Were you very sick? Aww, look at our baby’s face. You’re half-gone already!”

“Did you take your medicine? Hey, you still feel feverish, don’t you?”

Kang Chae-rin also joined in, and the two girls hugged their friend, felt her forehead, and made a fuss before letting Ye-seo go. Only after another friend took the binder back did Ye-seo pick up the pen and look around. Han Ju-hyeok had already disappeared.