#32: Embrace

Since Gu Minghui was injured by Lu Zhou, Shen Yihuan felt that, besides their friendship, and for other reasons, she should also go and properly comfort Gu Minghui.

The next day when she woke up, she called Gu Minghui again.

No one answered.

She checked the time, nine in the morning.

He’s probably busy with work, Shen Yihuan thought.

So she put her phone down, not giving it much thought.

She quickly washed up, put on some light makeup, then went out to find the film crew, wanting to see if there was anything she could help with.

Over these past few days, although they hadn’t become particularly close, everyone was quite nice. Sometimes, when they saw her carrying things, they would lend a hand.

She saw Qin Zheng in front of a building.

She was sitting in front of the camera, her whole face pale to the point of being almost transparent, her lips even lighter. Her brows were knitted together, and her fingers clutched the fabric over her lower abdomen tightly.

Shen Yihuan squatted beside her: “What’s wrong?”

Qin Zheng’s voice was hoarse, trembling: “Stomach ache, period started.”

“Ah.” Shen Yihuan paused, understanding.

She looked around the set; the filming area was already set up. She didn’t know what kind of final effect Qin Zheng wanted, so she held back from telling her to rest and that she would monitor things for her.

After thinking for a moment, she asked: “How about I go to the military medical office to see if they have any painkillers?”

Qin Zheng nodded, thanking her.

________________________________________

During her chuunibyou years, Shen Yihuan’s ideal man was Chen Haonan, and she longed to be the woman of a “big boss.”

But she was also very appearance-driven.

In real life, these street “big bosses” never had Chen Haonan’s looks, and most were rather unattractive.

They didn’t wear their clothes properly, were messy, had very dark skin from the sun, and spoke in what they thought was cool and swaggering “gangster talk” but was actually incredibly awkward. They didn’t study well, just hung around, always giving off a shallow vibe.

Shen Yihuan had lamented countless times that if only her little deskmate could stand in a crowd with an iron rod, he would definitely stir the hearts of young girls.

But Lu Zhou utterly despised her idea.

He wasn’t willing.

His school uniform was always clean, smelling of fresh laundry detergent, zipper pulled up to his chest, hair neatly trimmed. He listened attentively in class, scored first in every exam, and meticulously wrote his homework and notes.

He had no resemblance to a “big boss” at all.

In high school, the only time she saw Lu Zhou get angry and fight was one winter.

Shen Yihuan usually didn’t have menstrual cramps, but if she drank alcohol or ate something cold the day before, she would definitely experience them. That time, she didn’t remember the exact date, so she unexpectedly had cramps.

At that time, their school was in the old campus, and across the street was a vocational school where a few hoodlums would specifically extort protection money from students of their No. 1 Middle School.

It was freshman year, and Shen Yihuan was very famous in school because of her beauty. Many people from the vocational school across the street had heard her name, but she was always late or left early, so few people had actually seen her.

After she finished using the restroom and walked out of the school gate, she saw a few hoodlums squatting on the curb across the street.

They held cigarettes between two fingers, staring intently at her, whistling lewdly.

Shen Yihuan clutched her stomach, in too much pain to bother with them. She rolled her eyes and walked towards home.

The boys thought she was easy to bully, and being pretty, they teased her with crude words.

Shen Yihuan frowned, deciding it was better to avoid trouble. She clutched her small pink coin purse and asked, “How much do you want? I’ll give it to you.”

“Oh, so obedient, beauty, what’s your name? Let’s be friends,” the leading boy raised an eyebrow at her.

“...”

Shen Yihuan was speechless, hesitating whether to call someone out now to deal with them or block them at their school tomorrow.

Perhaps the pain in her stomach made her seem softer than usual, giving them the illusion that she was easy to bully.

The hoodlum chuckled, flicking his cigarette: “Hey, little sister, how about you tell me which class you’re in first?”

Everyone laughed.

Before their laughter subsided, someone jumped down from the wall nearby.

He landed on dry branches and fallen leaves, creating a rustling sound.

In the dead of winter, his school uniform collar was open, revealing a large expanse of his neck and collarbone. His sleeves were rolled up on his forearms, and a pair of cold eyes looked in their direction.

“Oh, is this a hero saving the beauty moment?” Someone quipped.

Lu Zhou frowned impatiently.

He picked up a sturdy wooden stick from the ground and weighed it in his hand twice.

His speed was incredibly fast. Before they could react, Lu Zhou’s arm suddenly exerted force, slamming the person and the stick together onto the ground.

The leading hoodlum fell to the ground, coughing a few times, cursing intermittently: “What, is this your person?”

At that time, they weren’t together yet; Shen Yihuan was still pursuing Lu Zhou. But that day, they had just had an unpleasant argument. Shen Yihuan had complained he was like a block of wood and was just about to give up on him.

Hearing the question, she raised an eyebrow, deliberately looking at Lu Zhou and saying, “I don’t seem to be your person, do I?”

The hoodlum sneered, having found his weakness, and spoke without thinking: “Oh, why are you playing the hero if she’s not yours? What, did you pee on her like a dog or something?”

Lu Zhou frowned slightly, glancing at Shen Yihuan.

Then he stepped on the wooden stick, grabbed the boy’s collar, and said in a faint voice, “You don’t know how to speak like a human, do you?”

He lowered his eyes, his gaze devoid of warmth, his eye corners sharply narrowed, crushing disdain and mockery.

Then he lifted him, bent his knee into his abdomen, striking with brutal force.

...

After finishing up, Lu Zhou walked to Shen Yihuan, his collar slightly disheveled, his expression calm. He asked, “Stomach ache?”

Shen Yihuan was honest: “Menstrual cramps.”

“...” His ears turned red.

Finally, Lu Zhou somehow found a bicycle. With his long legs, he straddled the seat, turned his head to look at Shen Yihuan, not saying anything to invite her on, but the meaning was clear.

The north wind howled in winter, but the sunlight was good.

Bright sunlight cast mottled circles of light through the marble tiles at the school gate.

Shen Yihuan stood still, smiling: “If this were a roaring motorcycle, I’d love you even more.”

He frowned: “Are you getting on or not?”

“I’m getting on!”

She jumped onto the back seat, only to be struck by the pain, gasping, and reaching out to hug the slim, strong waist of the boy in front of her.

The dark red bricks of the school wall rapidly whizzed past in her peripheral vision.

That was the first time Lu Zhou walked her home.

________________________________________

Thinking about the past, she unknowingly found her way to the military medical office.

As she pushed the door open, her steps halted. Lu Zhou and He Can were standing together, leaning over a table, exchanging something. From her angle, they looked very intimate.

It was Lu Zhou who heard the movement and turned to look.

The moment their eyes met, Shen Yihuan averted her gaze and walked directly towards He Can.

He Can: “Are you looking for me? What’s wrong?”

“I came to ask, do you have any painkillers or anything like that?” Shen Yihuan said.

“Yes, I’ll get it for you.”

He Can said, pushing open another small door and going in to get the medicine.

“What’s wrong with you?” A deep voice came from above her, with a slight nasal tone.

Shen Yihuan looked in the direction He Can had gone, and it was false to say she didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.

From the phone call Lu Zhou’s father made to him yesterday, she had vaguely heard that they both seemed to want to set up Lu Zhou and He Can.

She pushed away Lu Zhou’s hand, which was resting on her wrist bone.

She said faintly: “It’s not for me, it’s for Sister Qin Zheng. I came to get it for her.”

He Can came out with a strip of medicine and explained how to take it.

Shen Yihuan thanked her, didn’t look at Lu Zhou again, turned around, and left.

________________________________________

She gave the medicine to Qin Zheng.

After about ten minutes, the medicine took effect. Although it didn’t completely resolve the pain, she could at least manage to continue filming.

After finishing one segment, there was a break.

Qin Zheng glanced at Shen Yihuan sitting beside her, raising an eyebrow slightly. This was unusual.

Their work directions were different. After Shen Yihuan finished her part, she usually only came to check things out briefly. If there was nothing for her to do, she would go somewhere else. It was rare to see her looking so listless as she did today.

“What’s wrong? Are you in a bad mood?” Qin Zheng asked.

“Ah,” Shen Yihuan responded, turning her head to look at her, “No, I just feel a bit stifled.”

Qin Zheng laughed: “Summer’s already over, what’s there to feel stifled about?”

“Sister Qin Zheng, let me ask you something,” she squatted on the ground, shuffling two steps closer to Qin Zheng, “If there are two people, one you like, and another who matches you in every way, and your parents particularly like them, which one would you choose?”

Shen Yihuan asking her such a question was indeed unexpected.

Qin Zheng thought for a moment and replied, “My selfish preference would, of course, be the one I like. But for marriage, you have to consider many practical issues. Someone who matches you in all aspects might be more suitable than someone you like, and the marriage might even be happier.”

She spoke fairly.

Shen Yihuan knew it in her heart, too.

But why did her heart feel more and more stifled?

In the evening, after dinner at the cafeteria, she didn’t see Lu Zhou. All day, she had only caught a glimpse of his back in the military medical office.

The painkillers He Can gave her during the day came in a pack of two pills, which Qin Zheng had already finished. Shen Yihuan was worried she would still be in pain tomorrow, so she went to the military medical office again after showering.

Halfway there, she saw He Can.

“You’re here for medicine, aren’t you?” He Can handed her the painkillers she was holding; she had originally intended to deliver them. “Are you having a stomach ache?”

“It’s for Sister Qin Zheng. She’s on her period.”

Shen Yihuan took them, thanking her again.

“Wait a moment,” He Can called out to her.

“What?”

“Do you know about Captain Lu, he...” She paused slightly, looking at Shen Yihuan, “Never mind, it’s nothing.”

Shen Yihuan: “What’s wrong with him?”

“He has a fever, a high fever,” He Can sighed, “What exactly is going on between you two?”

She hadn’t intended to ask.

After all, from childhood, she had always been among the excellent ones in any group, with pride and dignity. Being rejected was already embarrassing enough. Now she was even expected to mediate their relationship.

But watching Lu Zhou with a high fever, and Shen Yihuan showing no concern, not even a direct glance, made her feel a little pity.

She had thought Shen Yihuan also liked Lu Zhou, and that the encounter in the corridor that night meant they were already together. But Lu Zhou was on an IV, and apart from comrades visiting, Shen Yihuan didn’t even know.

...

From Qin Zheng, Shen Yihuan learned about some things that happened during the past three years, the three years she wasn’t part of Lu Zhou’s life.

The reason Lu Zhou could reach his current position at only 25 years old was because he was sent to this military camp during his junior year of university and was assigned a mission.

“What mission?” Shen Yihuan felt her voice tremble.

“I don’t know the specifics, I just heard it from my uncle,” He Can explained, seeing her look puzzled, “He’s Commander Feng. He said that mission was basically a death sentence. Our border soldiers sometimes get very dangerous assignments. That mission was particularly high-risk, and everyone in the military camp was already hesitant about who to send.”

“Captain Lu volunteered, saying he’d go.”

Shen Yihuan’s heart felt as if it had been clutched by a hand.

“He has many injuries. I don’t know if you’ve seen them. Some of those injuries are new, from the last two years, but most of them are from that time.”

She frowned, her voice trembling slightly: “What...”

“After he returned, the military camp found him a psychologist, a professional therapist for post-traumatic stress.”

“I minored in psychology in college and also know the psychologist responsible for treating Captain Lu. I can’t ask too much as it involves military secrets, but I know he specializes in psychological counseling for spies and captured soldiers during wartime.”

He Can’s voice remained calm throughout, but what she said hit Shen Yihuan like a stick to the head.

She knew Lu Zhou’s life here must not have been easy.

But she never expected that beneath this surface, there was such a terrifying and cruel reality.

“And now...?”

“The psychological counseling is over, and he’s also leading a team as a captain. It shouldn’t be too serious now, but this kind of psychological trauma has a low chance of complete recovery and a certain relapse rate.”

During her time interacting with Lu Zhou, He Can could also feel his silence and suppression.

Shen Yihuan was silent for a long time, then asked: “Is he in the military medical office now?”

He Can nodded.

...

Shen Yihuan felt she hadn’t run so fast since she grew up. The wind whistled in her ears.

She ran all the way to the door of the military medical office before stopping, her hand gripping the doorknob as she tried to catch her breath.

Inside the military medical office, Lu Zhou sat in a chair, covered with a thin military blanket. Three bags of saline hung above him, the IV tube descending long, the needle buried in the blue vein on his hand.

Lu Zhou hadn’t been sick for a long time.

Perhaps because he was soaked in the rain or due to lack of rest, he felt dizzy this morning, and he was burning hot to the touch. It’s said that people who rarely get sick fall ill fiercely when they do.

He initially ignored it, but couldn’t endure it after finishing his morning training.

He came over and had his temperature taken, it was thirty-nine degrees Celsius.

He heard running outside and at first, his eyes half-closed, he ignored it. The fever had lowered his reaction time. After two seconds, he realized the footsteps sounded like Shen Yihuan’s.

He was too familiar with Shen Yihuan; he could clearly recognize her footsteps.

He turned his head towards the door and saw Shen Yihuan push it open and enter.

Their eyes met.

Shen Yihuan looked at him, said nothing, and strode towards him, bending down in front of him.

She skillfully wrapped her arms around his neck, interlocking her fingers at the back of his neck, and her forehead pressed against his the next second.

Burning hot.

Shen Yihuan’s throat tightened: “Why are you so hot?”

She had run too fast and was still breathing heavily, exhaling a cloud of white mist that diffused around Lu Zhou’s neck, creating a layer of moisture.

The outside temperature had already dropped. Shen Yihuan, wrapped in a chill, burrowed into Lu Zhou’s arms, her eyes full of pleading. She wrapped her arms around his neck, unwilling to let go.

Lu Zhou gripped her wrist, pulling gently, afraid of transmitting the fever to her.

Shen Yihuan thought he was trying to push her away, so she hugged him even harder, even daring to press her knees against his thighs and snuggle closer to him.

Lu Zhou’s breathing stopped for two seconds.

Looking down, he could only see the small girl’s dark hair at the back of her head. He suddenly didn’t know where to put his hands.

Shen Yihuan hugged his neck, breathing softly into his ear, looking very well-behaved. She occasionally rubbed her head against him and intermittently said something.

He slowly found his breathing rhythm and finally heard what Shen Yihuan was softly saying in his ear.

One after another.

“I’m sorry.”