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Lu Zhou never imagined he would witness Shen Yihuan’s straightforward, exposed, and bloody true feelings in such a scenario.
When Shen Yihuan told him she wouldn’t leave him, that she liked him, he had never truly believed her sincerity.
Until this moment.
In the most direct and shocking way, she showed him.
My life, I can give it to you.
Lu Zhou instinctively caught Shen Yihuan. Her back leaned against his chest, blood continuously flowing from her chest. He fumbled to cover her wound, but warm, sticky blood seeped through his fingers.
He had no time to react, no time to do anything.
He was the backbone of the team; all strategic arrangements were decided by him, and he had almost never been so flustered, so flustered that he didn’t even know what to do next.
“Shen Yihuan...”
Lu Zhou lowered his head. At first, it was just a slight tremor. The shocking red color, like a blood-red net, gradually imprinted itself in his eyes.
He felt nothing but tears falling.
Shen Yihuan didn’t actually feel much pain. The weather was too cold; she had long been numb from the freezing cold, and her senses weren’t sharp.
She only felt as if it got even colder, and her body suddenly lost strength. Her upper chest felt like it had been shot through, leaking air, a continuous chill seeping out, both cold and numb.
After their recent reunion, she heard Lu Zhou say he cried after they broke up. While her heart ached for him, she also found it hard to imagine.
Lu Zhou had always been seen as the darling of heaven in school, and later, the respected and admired captain of the border defense unit in this vast desert.
He should have been invulnerable.
But now, Shen Yihuan truly saw his tears, heard him call her name over and over, his voice thick with sobs.
Still “Shen Yihuan.”
Interwoven with this voice was another male voice, at the fading periphery of her consciousness.
In this situation, He Min was much calmer than Lu Zhou. He immediately spotted the man firing in their direction from not far away. He Min narrowed his eyes slightly.
It was Li Wu!
It turned out he already knew he had nowhere to escape and had set up this trap just to kill Lu Zhou with one shot.
“Captain Lu!” He Min roared, “I just saw a car over there! Get her in first! The rest of you, follow me and chase!”
Lu Zhou’s eyes were bloodshot. He snapped back to his senses, secured Shen Yihuan’s bleeding gun wound, picked her up by the waist, and rushed towards the car.
Shen Yihuan could hear the distant and near gunshots and shouts, and also feel the gasping breaths and rising and falling chest above her.
In her fading consciousness, she was held and laid down in an abandoned car.
Lying on her back, settled. The gunshot wound was on her chest. Lu Zhou pulled open her jacket zipper, his hands trembling, and directly used a dagger to cut open her sweater collar.
Her skin on her chest was fair and smooth, like a priceless piece of jade. Now, its center was gouged out, shocking to behold, yet possessing a strange beauty.
She heard Lu Zhou’s voice break like that for the first time, devoid of his usual pride, without a trace of rationality or restraint.
His voice was almost pleading, a desperate, rambling plea.
Saying, don’t leave me, Shen Yihuan, I beg you, don’t go, don’t leave me.
Saying, I truly, truly like you.
________________________________________
Consciousness sank to the very bottom.
Shen Yihuan experienced this peculiar feeling for the first time, like an illusion. She stood in the middle of a wilderness, with nothing around, only a hazy expanse.
But she could hear sounds, and surprisingly, she could even smell the common scent of disinfectant in hospitals.
It didn’t smell good.
She never liked it.
But she just couldn’t open her eyes.
She wandered around in that wilderness, and finally, inexplicably, found herself near a building that looked like a hospital.
She looked as she did in her teenage years, wearing a loose, blue and white school uniform, exuding a youthful and unrestrained aura. She looked forward and saw Lu Zhou sitting in the IV drip room, also wearing a school uniform.
Back then, the boy’s hair wasn’t as short as it was now; the fringes on his forehead partially covered his eyebrows. His features were clear and bright, and his eyes were downcast, making him look a bit listless.
There was a very severe flu outbreak during the second year of high school, right around the final exam period.
The final exams for that semester were postponed by a week, and a temporary notice was issued for all primary and secondary school students in the city to go on holiday. The entire school was in chaos.
As the class monitor, Lu Zhou helped the homeroom teacher and various subject teachers run around on the holiday day. In the end, he unfortunately caught the flu, not knowing where he got infected.
Shen Yihuan went to the hospital to see him that evening.
Lu Zhou saw her approach, frowned slightly, pulled up his mask, his voice muffled and hoarse: “Why did you come?”
They had just been together for a while then.
The day before, they had been quite unhappy over a small matter.
Shen Yihuan hadn’t even gone to school that day. She had played with friends all afternoon, and then heard from other friends that Lu Zhou was seen at the hospital, so she rushed over.
She was actually quite worried, but they had just argued yesterday, and she didn’t want to be too proactive.
So she stood five paces away and didn’t move.
Lu Zhou’s skin was very fair, the blue veins on the back of his hand prominent, slightly swollen from the needle prick. The cold medicine flowed through the IV tube into his bloodstream.
The flu was rampant, and the hospital was overflowing with people, especially children, all accompanied by parents.
Only Lu Zhou was alone, wearing his school uniform, sitting in a corner, with no one accompanying him.
Lu Zhou looked at her, frowned, extended his hand to her, and beckoned: “Come closer.”
Shen Yihuan shuffled two steps forward, standing in front of him, still not speaking.
Lu Zhou couldn’t move one hand because of the IV. With the other, he felt for a packet of masks in his other pocket, took one out, and handed it to Shen Yihuan.
Shen Yihuan didn’t take it and sat down in the seat beside him.
She leaned her head forward, resting her chin in her hand: “You put it on me.”
Lu Zhou’s hand paused. He turned to the side, put it on her, and then tucked her hair behind her ear, his movements very gentle.
He asked, “Why did you come?”
Shen Yihuan leaned back in her chair, hands in her pockets, swinging her legs, and hummed: “My friend said they saw you, so I came to check. Didn’t expect you to actually be here. Lu Zhou, why is your health so bad?”
Lu Zhou turned his face away, coughed twice, and adjusted his mask.
“You should go back first, don’t get infected.”
Shen Yihuan was very displeased: “I’m in good health. Besides, haven’t I worn a mask?”
Someone squeezed through the narrow aisle behind, carrying a glass bottle held high. Lu Zhou shielded Shen Yihuan with his arm, separating her: “Be careful.”
Shen Yihuan looked back, then lazily sat back down after the person left.
“Why did school suddenly close?” Shen Yihuan asked. “Isn’t it almost final exams?”
Lu Zhou: “Final exams are delayed by a week.”
Shen Yihuan raised an eyebrow: “Then didn’t you study for nothing? You’ll forget everything by the time you’re well enough for the exams.”
Lu Zhou played with her fingers, his gaze lowered, casually “Mm”-ing.
Shen Yihuan leaned closer to him: “You won’t get first place this time, will you?”
He casually: “Possibly.”
Shen Yihuan “tsk”-ed: “Then will the homeroom teacher separate our seats? No, you have to work hard, you must get first place.”
Lu Zhou glanced at her, the young girl’s expression serious.
He nodded: “Mm, got it.”
After finishing the IV drip that night, they left the hospital together.
The winter streets were quiet, with few people. The young girl didn’t know where she got a bicycle, the kind of brightly colored bicycle that was very popular in school at the time.
The girl impetuously put the bicycle forward and rang the bell twice with her index finger.
Her smile became the only splash of color in Lu Zhou’s heart.
“Let’s go, I’ll take you home!”
Lu Zhou stood to the side, calmly raised an eyebrow, then stepped forward, took the handlebars from her hand, and swung his long leg over: “I’ll take you, get on.”
Shen Yihuan smiled, eyes crinkling: “Aren’t you having a fever?”
“It’s fine.”
So Shen Yihuan jumped onto the bike and wrapped her arms around Lu Zhou’s waist.
They rode through street after street, bathed in the glow of streetlights.
Shen Yihuan was in an inexplicably good mood, probably because school was temporarily out. She hooked one arm around Lu Zhou’s waist and waved the other in the air.
She laughed and told Lu Zhou many interesting rumors she’d heard from elsewhere.
Lu Zhou wasn’t very interested in any of it; he just listened quietly, responding occasionally.
Shen Yihuan talked for a while, then wrapped both arms around his waist, pressed her cheek against his back, and sniffled: “Lu Zhou?”
“Mm?”
“Do you like me?” she asked.
Lu Zhou didn’t hesitate: “I do.”
Shen Yihuan: “How much?”
Lu Zhou didn’t speak.
Shen Yihuan rubbed against his back and said, “I like you so much too.”
________________________________________
The dream was chaotic, flashing with many elusive fragments.
When Shen Yihuan woke up, the hospital room was dark. For a moment, she couldn’t even figure out the current time—the dreams were all about the past.
She seemed to have returned to an earlier time, arrogant and unrestrained, proud and reckless. At that age, she stood in a position envied and admired by her peers, riding high, then was struck down and fell into the dirt.
Then she thought of Lu Zhou again.
The boy’s affection was straightforward and unconcealed. Day after day of arguments and undisguised flaws didn’t erode their initial spark.
From the boy he once was to the man he had grown into, Lu Zhou’s tears were always for her.
Shen Yihuan blinked, her consciousness returning.
It was this familiar white ceiling again. Last time, a bullet just grazed her calf; now it was directly embedded in her flesh.
The sky was completely dark. The faint smell of disinfectant lingered in the air, the same scent as in her dream just now. Only a sliver of moonlight reflecting off the snow outside managed to creep in.
Through that tiny bit of light, Shen Yihuan saw a human outline with its head buried in her palm.
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
So she moved her fingers.
Lu Zhou looked up, his eyes bloodshot, looking utterly exhausted and gaunt.
For a moment, Shen Yihuan thought she had been lying there for a very long time.
She opened her mouth, unable to produce much sound, only a breathy whisper. Lu Zhou leaned closer, hearing her ask, “How long have I been lying here?”
Lu Zhou gritted his teeth, his voice incredibly hoarse: “Not long, just a few hours.”
Then why are you...
Shen Yihuan wanted to ask, but her gaze caught the dampness on Lu Zhou’s dark eyelashes, and his eyes were red. She understood then.
The last thing she heard before losing consciousness was Lu Zhou’s desperate, pleading voice, his tone thick with sobs, saying, “Shen Yihuan, don’t leave, I beg you.”
Her injury wasn’t actually that serious.
Li Wu’s bullet was meant for Lu Zhou’s heart. Shen Yihuan intercepted it mid-flight. The bullet hit her upper chest, not a immediately fatal area.
Lu Zhou, of course, knew this, but he couldn’t possibly consider these details at the time.
That place was extremely remote, far from the town hospital. Shen Yihuan’s wounds were all treated by Lu Zhou, shocking to behold, his hand holding the dagger trembling uncontrollably.
“It doesn’t seem to hurt much,” Shen Yihuan whispered.
Lu Zhou looked up at the IV drip: “The anesthetic hasn’t worn off yet.”
Shen Yihuan reached out to him.
Lu Zhou leaned closer. Shen Yihuan touched his face, her thumb gently caressing it: “Don’t be sad, Lu Zhou.”
He rubbed his face against Shen Yihuan’s palm: “It’s my fault.”
“You’re the best to me.”
Lu Zhou said nothing, only shaking his head.
Was he good to Shen Yihuan? Perhaps he was, but also not. He never truly trusted her, only wanting to tie her to his side. He even hurt her repeatedly because he couldn’t control himself.
Shen Yihuan raised her hand and cupped the back of his head, gently pulling him into her embrace.
She could still only produce a faint sound, her lips pressed against Lu Zhou’s ear.
She said.
“Lu Zhou, I love you.”
“Willingly, wholeheartedly.”
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