NILWM - 9

Her heart fluttered again at his somewhat profound words. She had felt strange ever since they left the pancake house.

From the pancake house until now, it had been a perfectly wholesome time without a drop of alcohol. Yet, her face kept flushing and her heart pounded as if she were drunk.

To hide her flushed cheeks, she turned her head towards the Han River. Violet and orange hues shimmered softly. The artificial lights across the river and the moonlight harmonized exquisitely, making the surface of the water, reflected beneath the bridges, incredibly beautiful.

It was a romantic scene, as if she were in a dream. Just three hours ago, when she was heading to their meeting place, she couldn’t have imagined such a situation.

Han Ju-hyeok gazed only at the view before him, lost in thought. Yet, she felt no sense of distance. The atmosphere was comfortable, as if he would immediately turn his attention to her if she spoke again.

It felt completely different from how he was at school. There, whether he was silent or speaking, he always had a difficult and cold aura.

What could she call this feeling now? Not exactly comfortable, but not entirely uncomfortable either. She couldn’t tell if it was due to Han Ju-hyeok’s unusual demeanor, the exceptional current situation, or both.

Perhaps that’s why an unbidden question popped out.

“Do you have someone you’re seeing, Senior?”

But he had asked her first. Wouldn’t it be okay to ask back?

“No. I don’t have anyone like that.”

He looked back at her and replied coolly.

“Nor anyone I like.”

“Oh... I see.”

A strange sense of relief filled Ye-seo. What is this feeling? It was like the subtle relief one feels when a popular top star denies dating rumors. The two remained seated for a long time even after they had finished all the tea, emptying the teapot.

It wasn’t long before she realized the meaning of today’s meeting, and the sudden gush of tears and relief at the restaurant.

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Time had already passed 10 PM. Her footsteps felt strangely light as she walked home after parting ways with the senior. She felt weightless, as if walking on clouds.

-Thank you for coming out today. I’m sorry for keeping you so long.

He had dropped her off at her apartment entrance while on his way in a taxi.

-No problem. Thank you so much for treating me to delicious food at such a nice place. About the pen... I’m truly sorry about what happened.

-It’s fine. Well, go on in.

He had a kind smile on his face until the taxi door closed. Even after rushing to wash up and sitting at her desk, his face wouldn’t leave her mind.

As midnight approached, and she was getting ready for bed, Chae-rin texted her. Only then did she remember that she had brushed off Chae-rin’s earlier text from the restaurant, saying she was meeting someone and would get back to her.

[Sorry, Chae-rin. I just got back and forgot.]

[Who did you meet?]

Her hands, which had been typing as she sat bolt upright, suddenly froze. There was nothing strange about telling the truth. I just met him to return the pen, and since it was dinner time, we ate together, and then somehow had tea, and he said he was just treating a junior—would there be any problem with that?

[Huh? Why can’t you say? Min Ye-seo, did you perhaps go on a blind date?]

[No. What blind date?]

[Then who did you meet that you can’t say?]

Yet, the words wouldn’t come out easily. Before she could think of another excuse, Chae-rin bluntly continued.

[If it’s not a blind date, did you meet someone you were secretly “some-thing” with?]

[It’s not that, actually, it’s a middle school classmate! Someone you don’t know...]

Ye-seo made a few more excuses and ended the conversation. She turned off the lights and lay down, and he came to mind again. The picture-like night view of the riverside and Han Ju-hyeok’s lingering image, even more picturesque within it, kept circling in her mind.

-Eat a lot. -Just for you to eat a lot. Because it’s the most delicious part. You were sick, right?

His gentle voice was vivid even with her eyes closed. She was already at a loss as to how to answer if someone asked if she had started liking someone, or how she came to like them. Even if it wasn’t outright liking, a clear sense of favor had certainly developed.

Because he told me to eat a lot? Because he gave me all the chicken drumsticks out of consideration for me...?

She felt dumbfounded herself. Does it even make sense for feelings beyond mere fondness to arise just because he shared some food and offered a few warm words?

But it truly was so. It was a single phrase she had never heard from her mother her entire life.

When Jeong-woo wasn’t around, they never ordered fried chicken. She distinctly remembered that whenever her mother occasionally bought whole roasted chickens from the nearby market, he always ate all the drumsticks.

-Let’s see, drumsticks. These are all Jeong-woo’s. Only boys eat the drumsticks, you see.

Her mother always said that as she divided the chicken by parts, which is why she remembered it even now. Looking back, her mother had always been like that, even when her father was alive.

“Dad...”

A sleep-talking-like sound escaped her lips. Her father, a university associate professor, had treated the twins equally when they were young. If her mother sided with Jeong-woo when they fought, her father would come over, hug her, and comfort her. Sometimes he would have big arguments with her mother.

-A daughter should be raised precious, and a son strong, but why are you doing the opposite? Because you keep coddling Jeong-woo, Ye-seo is losing spirit, and Jeong-woo keeps acting spoiled. If you’re going to spoil them, do it equally.

Her father had adored her greatly. The touch of his hands, washing her face before kindergarten and tying her hair with large ribbon ties while she sat on his lap, had been incredibly gentle.

-Our Ye-seo, eat a lot. Hurry, before Jeong-woo comes and snatches it.

Someone’s faint smile lingered over a benevolent and warm face. Although he was completely different and unrelated to her father, she missed him so much that she wanted to see him again in her dreams.

Senior Ju-hyeok... I thought he was only difficult and cold to approach.

To think he was actually such a kind person. The discovery of his warm side somehow put her at ease. She didn’t know why, but it simply was.

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Ju-hyeok woke up at dawn and drove his car towards the Han River before sunrise. The Aston Martin convertible, usually quietly sleeping in the parking lot, sped down the unobstructed road for the first time in a while.

He got out of the car, dressed in simple training clothes, and headed towards the track. There were almost no other people, but the few who were running out there from the early morning couldn’t take their eyes off him. While driving, it was his car, and while walking, his very presence that left no room to be free from the surrounding gazes.

Ju-hyeok, seemingly oblivious to the stares, approached a man standing on the track and waving his hand. The man, in his early forties, was also dressed in simple running attire.

“Hyung.”

“Hey, thanks to you, I got to see the morning stars for the first time in a long while.”

“Sometimes that’s nice, isn’t it? Anyway, thank you for coming out early.”

His tone was respectful in words only, dry as if speaking to a friend. His cousin, Han Jong-han, almost twenty years his senior, quipped playfully. At times like this, he looked much younger than when he wore his psychiatrist’s gown.

“I have to accommodate my VIP client, what else can I do? If only you weren’t so busy.”

“I could have postponed my appointments, but it’s more of a concern—something unusual has happened recently, and I wanted to talk about it.”

“Something special?”

The man raised an eyebrow. Ju-hyeok, intending to postpone his professional curiosity for a moment, started to pick up speed first.

“I’ll go ahead.”

“Oh, hey! Wait up!”

Unlike his usual habit of only looking straight ahead while running, today his gaze occasionally drifted towards the riverside. Above the purple horizon, just before sunrise, someone’s clear eyes came to mind.

After running for nearly an hour, it was past 7 AM, and the riverside became livelier. The two men sat facing each other at an outdoor table at a cafe next to the parking lot.

Only the sound of birds filled the air; there was no one else around. Han Jong-han chatted happily about his wife and two children for a long time, then took out his glasses as if in his consulting room. The playful expression had disappeared from his face as he set down his half-empty coffee cup.

“Care to talk about it now? That concern you mentioned earlier.”

“Shall we, Doctor?”

Ju-hyeok smiled faintly. But his posture, with both elbows resting on the small table and his hands clasped together, seemed earnest.

“Lately, there’s someone I can’t stop thinking about. A junior from the same department...”

Dr. Han listened silently until he finished speaking. In a different place, with different people, he would have likely slapped him on the back and teased him relentlessly.

Hey, there’s nothing more to say! You like that junior! Finally, it seems you’re going to have a relationship, kid. Maybe you’ll become a campus couple? But do people even use the term ‘campus couple’ these days?

But this was a sacred consultation. The fact that the time and place were like this was only because the client desired it, and that fact remained unchanged.

“Yesterday, I had a reason to be with her all evening. About five hours.”

“Just the two of you?”

Ju-hyeok nodded. His demeanor was calm, but he, too, must have known it was an unusual occurrence. Han Jong-han was now propping his chin with his fist. It was an unconscious habit that emerged when he focused on a clinical issue.

“If you stayed that long, it must have been a very good time.”

“It was subtle.”

The corner of Ju-hyeok’s mouth twisted slightly.