AUM - 24

Kangjoon, who had walked from the front lobby to the middle of the living room, stopped. A cheerful acoustic melody flowed from the kitchen hallway. Even the pungent smell of food tickled his nose. Surely not. Arriving in front of the kitchen, Kangjoon doubted his eyes. His wife, who should have been resting in the bedroom, was cooking with an apron on. Startled by the sound of Kangjoon slowly approaching, his wife turned around. Perhaps she was embarrassed by the messy kitchen, which Kangjoon’s eyes scanned. She chattered on about things he hadn’t even asked.

“I was preparing dinner. Days like this are rare, you know. Me being home when Kangjoon-ssi gets off work. Chief Yoon said Kangjoon-ssi skipped dinner. I’m feeling better too, and it was boring just staying still, so I took a walk around the neighborhood and did some grocery shopping.”

This side of his wife was unfamiliar. The comfortable way she reported her day to her husband who had returned home, like an ordinary couple. It was a sight he was seeing for the first time. Perhaps embarrassed by his staring gaze, his wife smiled brightly and turned her body.

“Do you want to wash up and come out? I think it’ll be ready by then.”

But Kangjoon leaned against the wall and leisurely admired his wife’s figure. Her half-updo, with the rest of her hair gently let down instead of being tied up high. Her long, drooping eyelashes and delicate profile. Her slender waist tied with an apron and her graceful movements. Watching her made his heart pound strangely. His fingertips tingled as if he would go crazy. Slowly approaching, Kangjoon embraced his wife’s waist from behind. The delicate body he held in his arms stiffened, seemingly surprised by Kangjoon’s actions.

“......Kangjoon-ssi?”

Holding his wife in his arms and inhaling her scent, Kangjoon thought. It seemed like it was love after all. Because otherwise, this tight feeling that filled his chest, this heat that warmed his brain, couldn’t be explained.

“Let me hold you like this for a moment.”

He had confronted the feelings he had wanted to ignore in his wife’s office this afternoon. It was the moment he met her resigned eyes. The moment he realized that if anything happened to this woman, he would go crazy. Watching his wife fall asleep after the IV drip, he had many thoughts and had to make a decision. Whether to give up on this love that had already begun. Whether to become a terrible husband or a terrible older brother. It might be an emotion that could be controlled since it was still in the early stages. But he didn’t want to. If his wife’s feelings were the same as his, even if he became a terrible older brother, even if he became a madman. What was important to Kangjoon now was his wife’s feelings for him, her hidden inner thoughts.

“Yoo Taeryeong-ssi.”

He wanted to have a serious and honest conversation with his wife. Because it was the only way to fix this marriage that had gone wrong from the start, this marital relationship that was uncontrollably twisted. That was why Kangjoon had tried to leave work on time today. Although he had failed due to the piled-up work.

“Whatever you say now, I’ll understand and forgive you.”

It felt like he was pulling out a piece of his heart with every word he spoke. A heart he had never shown to anyone before. Was this why they said love was heartbreaking?

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

He didn’t expect much from his wife. He just hoped she would show him even a sliver of sincerity in response to the sincerity he had shown first. Whatever it was, anything, truth, feelings. If she showed him even a small bit of sincerity, Kangjoon planned to take care of the rest. The painful things, the scary things, the responsibility for his younger brother’s death, even love.

“I don’t think I can eat.”

With a small murmur, his wife’s small hand untangled the hand that Kangjoon had around her waist. Her soft body slipped out of his embrace, and her fragrant scent moved away from his nose. Those insignificant actions piled up coldly like snow in Kangjoon’s chest. His wife’s gaze, her hands neatly folded over her stomach, glanced away as if avoiding Kangjoon.

“Do you want to shower and come out to the terrace? Let’s talk there.”

Although she skillfully hid her pupils beneath her long eyelashes, Kangjoon could tell. Unlike him, who had tried to pull out his heart and show it to her, his wife had no intention of doing so at all.

________________________________________

Taeryeong, who had come out to the terrace, let out a sigh first. She had received a call from Chief Yoon. Along with the news that her husband would be late, he had also subtly mentioned that he hadn’t eaten anything all afternoon. She had wanted to make him a meal, feeling like it was her fault.

“He’s going hungry again because of me.”

All of this was because of Alicia, who was just bad-tempered and thoughtless.

‘I told him to prove his love for me with death when he said he loved me. But I never wanted Kyung-soo to die! I just wanted him to kidnap me or hold onto me with that kind of determination! But like a fool...’

Seeing her lower eyelids flutter and her tearful voice, it seemed like Alicia also loved Heo Kyung-soo. But what was important to Taeryeong wasn’t Alicia’s feelings or the dead Heo Kyung-soo. It was that Heo Kyung-soo was Chairman Seo of Hanshin’s illegitimate grandson, and that Kangjoon cherished his younger brother terribly. That her husband had married her knowing everything from the start. Only then did the scattered puzzle pieces fall into place. The purpose of this marriage, her husband’s attitude towards her, the warning that there would never be a divorce. Her husband was planning to avenge his younger brother on Alicia by sacrificing his own life. That would be a lifelong hell for her too.

‘My mom cleanly erased my traces in Germany. Seo Kangjoon isn’t certain, he’s just suspicious. If I can just break that suspicion, there won’t be any problems with this marriage!’

The foolish Alicia still hadn’t grasped the situation. Trying to maintain this marriage, thinking she could deceive a man like Seo Kangjoon. Taeryeong felt sorry for Kangjoon, who would have to live as a couple with such a woman for the rest of his life to avenge his younger brother.

“But why did he say that?”

Suddenly, her husband’s words from the kitchen came to mind.

‘Whatever you say now, I’ll understand and forgive you.’

What words had her husband wanted to hear? When she heard those words, Taeryeong had felt a strong heartbeat in her husband’s embrace. It felt like her husband’s whisper asking her to trust him. Even if that was her husband’s true feeling, Taeryeong couldn’t believe it. You don’t know who I really am. Those feelings were probably what he felt for Madam Jo’s daughter, not for her. Knowing that, she wanted to tell her husband even now. That the person he was wavering for wasn’t Yoo Taeryeong. I... my real name is...

“Snap out of it, think about your grandmother.”

But Taeryeong barely managed to pull herself together. She couldn’t waver for her husband, who was putting on a more perfect act than she was. The one time she had revealed her true feelings to her husband. She suddenly remembered what her husband had said when she told him she thought she would hate him a lot in the future.

‘I’ll look forward to it.’

Her husband had finally achieved that wish. Taeryeong hated and resented her husband a lot right now. Just then, her husband appeared on the terrace in comfortable clothes. After cleanly emptying his first glass, he asked directly,

“What’s the reason your mother assaulted you?”

Dry and simple, this was how their relationship was supposed to be from the start. Yet, even though her husband was acting that way, her heart ached strangely.

“I was planning to double-cross my mother with Director Kang.”

Her heart felt like it was being pierced by her husband’s cold, sharp gaze.

“I want to keep working, but my mother is against it, and I had no choice. To make Inno Fashion mine, I desperately needed the help of Director Kang, who doesn’t have a good relationship with my mother.”

Cold sweat threatened to break out from her tightly clenched hands under the table. Hold on, endure, persevere.

“A filial daughter who would even pretend to die at her mother’s words is now obsessed with work and trying to double-cross her. I’ll believe you for now.”

Her husband emptied his second glass without taking his eyes off Taeryeong. Then, he casually changed the subject.

“Why did you say you didn’t know Heo Kyung-soo?”

It wasn’t a question, it was a certainty.

“What woman can easily admit to her husband about a past lover?”

Now was the point where her husband would get angry, and Taeryeong was willingly prepared. As long as she was playing the role of Yoo Taeryeong, it was also her role to accept her husband’s anger. But her husband was still looking at her indifferently and calmly. As if telling her to continue.

“There was no man who accepted my personality like Kyung-soo-ssi. We even thought about getting married, but my mother was against it, and he returned to Germany after we broke up. As you said, I’m a filial daughter who would even pretend to die at my mother’s words.”

“And because of that filial piety, you told my younger brother to prove his love with death, and my younger brother really proved it by dying.”

Her husband’s cold eyes whispered to Taeryeong, Are you satisfied now?

“Was that role of a filial daughter also part of your acting as an unsuitable wife?”

“My life in Germany was the last freedom and deviation I enjoyed. Isn’t it okay to erase the past and start anew after returning to Korea?”

Even though her heart felt like it would explode, Taeryeong’s voice was surprisingly calm. But her husband chuckled.

“I thought my brother’s feelings for you were just a dangerous game. His infatuation with a woman looked pathetic. It means I could have stopped it but didn’t.”

Her husband’s seemingly indifferent tone was self-deprecating.

“You led, and I stood by. It’s only logical that we, who should share responsibility for my brother’s death, get married.”

This time, even Taeryeong couldn’t maintain her composure. She hadn’t expected her husband to openly confess everything.

“The purpose of marriage isn’t important. What’s important to me is that Seo Kangjoon-ssi is my husband...!”

Taeryeong couldn’t finish her sentence. Because her husband’s upper body suddenly leaned over the table. Because his heated fingertips grabbed the tip of her chin and lifted it. Red eyes that seemed to burn her were looking at Taeryeong. The breath laced with the strong scent of whiskey seemed to make those eyes burn even more fiercely.

“Does that mean... you can love me, your husband?”

At the sharp question that tore at her heart, Taeryeong lowered her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her husband, afraid that her true feelings would be revealed. I already love you. That’s probably why her heart ached like this. But her lips and her heart spoke different words.

“I’m a woman who can’t love.”

“I can.”

But his calm and low voice drew Taeryeong’s gaze back up.

“Love, I know how to do it now.”

It was a statement for his wife, and also for Kangjoon himself. I thought I couldn’t do that kind of thing either. You’re the one who ended up making me this way. So please, say anything. But his wife gave Kangjoon a faint smile as she looked into his eyes.

“That’s a relief.”

At that smile, bitter liquid welled up in Kangjoon’s throat.

“Is that your answer to everything I’ve said?”

Why didn’t she ask anything about who he could love?

“I will atone to Kyung-soo-ssi for the rest of my life. So, I hope Kangjoon-ssi will let go of any guilt or responsibility.”

His wife’s calm eyes, composed face, and collected tone. Kangjoon realized with despair,

“I think I need to get some air.”

That his wife had never once wavered for him.

“I won’t stay out, but don’t wait up.”

________________________________________

Kangjoon ultimately didn’t come home. But he had to keep his promise, right? Or, he shouldn’t have said he wouldn’t stay out. Taeryeong, who had gone to work in poor condition, told Secretary Kim,

“Secretary Kim, please go to the Kim Jin-woo model meeting this morning instead of me.”

It was certain that Jin-woo was a rising star these days. The marketing and planning teams had simultaneously selected Kim Jin-woo as the main male model for Judith. And today was the day Jin-woo was scheduled to come to Inno Fashion for the meeting. Taeryeong also wanted to see Jin-woo, but it wasn’t the right time yet. Unlike his puppy-like innocent face, he also had the crazy dog tendency of never letting go once he bit. If she caught Jin-woo’s attention, it could become dangerous.

“Is that alright with you?”

“You’re a fan of Kim Jin-woo, aren’t you?”

“Kyaa, thank you, President!”

After the excited Secretary Kim left the office, Taeryeong let out a soft sigh.

“Forget about husbands, let’s work.”

She had a mountain of work to do. But her concentration wasn’t there like usual. Perhaps because she hadn’t slept well, Taeryeong’s gaze, desperately needing caffeine, turned to the window.

“Maybe having a cup of coffee in the outdoor break area will wake me up.”

Taeryeong’s steps, as she left her office, stopped midway down the hallway. Kangjoon, who had gotten off the elevator, was leisurely crossing the hallway with large strides. The moment she saw her husband, countless words coalesced in her chest. The empty space beside her, the particularly cold night, staying out, the broken promise, resentment. While her cold heart boiled, her husband came right up to Taeryeong. His infuriatingly indifferent demeanor, the eyes that looked down at her quietly, made her heart flutter. Enough to make her realize that the longing to see him was greater than her resentment. Still, she would confront him properly. At least she had the right to about his staying out.

“You...”

That was the moment. The emergency exit door opened. Secretary Kim appeared with a bright smile, and behind her, Kim Jin-woo appeared with an even brighter smile. Secretary Kim called out to Taeryeong, making it impossible for her to escape.

“President!”

Her husband’s solid chest happened to be at Taeryeong’s eye level. A haven that would completely envelop her body once she leaned into it, a place where she could properly hide. She absolutely didn’t want to give in. Thinking that Seo Kangjoon was a genius at timing, helped by the heavens, Taeryeong slowly reached out her arms. Burrowing into her husband’s embrace, she whispered,

“Do you know how worried I was?”

Pretending not to notice her flustered husband’s gaze, she wrapped her arms around his firm waist, pressing her cheek against the place where his heart was beating.