CXD - 73

The comforting words on the tip of Pei Xueqing’s tongue hesitated several times before she finally couldn’t bring herself to say them.

If the person in front of her were truly just a spoiled and innocent duchess who lacked nothing, perhaps she could encourage Jiang Zhiyi to be more optimistic and not worry about things that hadn’t happened yet.

But whether it was Lord Ningguo, who sacrificed himself to protect the emperor during the chaos of war, or Lady Ningguo, who chose to follow her beloved husband to death and left behind their daughter, or the Fourth Prince, who abandoned his childhood friendship for the sake of his future—how could someone who had been losing so much find optimism comforting? It might sound more like empty reassurance.

Moreover, the sons of the Shen family bore such an origin. Even if they did nothing and sought nothing, walking through the world was already fraught with danger and difficulty. If they wanted to achieve something, it would undoubtedly be akin to licking blood off a blade. Jiang Zhiyi’s worries were far from groundless.

As an outsider, how could she console someone riddled with scars to believe in a person dancing on the edge of a knife, to believe he could have it all, to believe they could find happiness?

If worldly fulfillment were so easily attained, how could she be forever separated from her beloved?

After much deliberation, Pei Xueqing said nothing, only asking: “Have you ever shared these thoughts with General Shen?”

Jiang Zhiyi shook her head: “I haven’t figured out what I really want yet. Telling him would only add to his burden. I’ll tell him when I’ve made up my mind.”

Just outside the tent, Yuan Ce stood quietly by the entrance, listening as the voices inside fell silent. His hand at his side slowly clenched into a fist.

Suddenly, footsteps approached. As someone began to call out “General,” Yuan Ce turned and gestured for silence, glancing at the food box San Qi held in his hand. He tilted his chin, signaling for him to bring it inside.

San Qi silently nodded and carried the dinner into the tent.

Inside, Jiang Zhiyi’s voice rang out again, her earlier melancholy replaced with cheer: “Where is your General Shen? Won’t he join me for dinner?”

—Her tone sounded lively, as if she had no worries at all.

At night, during the hour of Xu, Yuan Ce finished his night training and accompanied Jiang Zhiyi onto the carriage heading back to the city.

These days, because of Jiang Zhiyi’s company, Yuan Ce rode the carriage home with her every night. With Pei Xueqing present, he sat in the front compartment of the carriage, knees bent and leaning against the door, listening to the two women chatting inside.

Mostly, Jiang Zhiyi asked questions along the way, inquiring whether Pei Xueqing had prepared her luggage to return to the capital. She mentioned that May was approaching, and the journey back would be in midsummer, suggesting the need for items to relieve heat. She also asked what Pei Xueqing planned to do upon returning to Chang’an, reminding her to send a letter to let her know she was safe and share the latest fashionable news from the capital.

Upon arriving at Qing Le Inn, Yuan Ce lightly leaped off the carriage, making space for others to disembark.

Pei Xueqing slid the door open, stepped down onto the footstool, and bowed to Yuan Ce: “Thank you, General Shen, for allowing me to visit the camp today. In a few days, I will return to the capital. Since you are busy, I take this opportunity to bid you farewell now.”

Yuan Ce nodded: “Take care on your journey.”

Jiang Zhiyi followed her out of the carriage, stepping forward to grasp Pei Xueqing’s hands: “Sister Xueqing, your path ahead is long. Look forward as you move onward.”

Pei Xueqing lowered her eyes and smiled faintly, pausing before gripping Jiang Zhiyi’s hands in return: “You take care too. When I return to Chang’an, we’ll fly kites together.”

Watching Pei Xueqing walk into the inn, a soft sigh echoed in the quiet alley. Jiang Zhiyi gazed after her departing figure and softly said: “She told me today that visiting the military camp was the last place she needed to say goodbye to. Her journey’s purpose is fulfilled, and she has no regrets... But she didn’t respond to my ‘look forward.’”

Yuan Ce suddenly turned to look at Jiang Zhiyi: “What if you were her?”

“What?” Jiang Zhiyi was startled.

“If you were her, could you look forward as you move onward?”

Meeting Yuan Ce’s unwavering gaze, Jiang Zhiyi thought deeply in silence for a long while before lifting her chin defiantly: “Why not?”

Yuan Ce’s eyebrows arched slightly.

“I’m only seventeen. My life ahead is still long. Am I supposed to remain a widow for life for someone who wasn’t even my husband? If I were her, I’d feast and revel, enjoy music every night, travel far and wide, and meet new people... What past attachments can’t be forgotten by making new ones? If there are any, I’ll make ten, a hundred new friends!”

Yuan Ce lowered his head, threading his fingers through hers, tightening each one: “Who gave you this opportunity?”

Jiang Zhiyi looked down at their intertwined hands, feeling each of his fingers firmly gripping her, with a force much stronger than usual.

“Tonight—” Did he overhear her conversation with Pei Xueqing? Jiang Zhiyi wondered suspiciously.

“Tonight?” Yuan Ce blinked, waiting for her to continue.

Jiang Zhiyi blinked too: “Did you wash your hands?”

“…”

Yuan Ce pulled her back to the carriage and sat down beside her. He raised his other hand to pinch her fair cheek: “What if I didn’t wash my hands?”

Jiang Zhiyi slapped his hand away: “You’re hurting my face! You’re not allowed on my bed tonight!”

She didn’t know who it was that enthusiastically invited him every night, not only onto the bed but also to hold her. As the weather grew hotter and her sleeping gown thinner, he hadn’t slept a full night on her bed.

“It’s fine, I’ll have a good rest tonight,” Yuan Ce leaned against the carriage wall and closed his eyes.

Jiang Zhiyi turned to glare at him: “Is it because of my bad sleeping posture or talking in my sleep that bothers you so much?”

Yuan Ce opened one eye slightly and shook his head: “It’s my bad sleeping posture; I bother myself.”

As the weather gradually warmed into summer, Jiang Zhiyi bid farewell to the Pei siblings. Calculating the days, she found it strange. Although she wasn’t in a hurry to return to the capital, her uncle’s men should be riding horses, which would be faster than carriages. By late April, they should have arrived, but why was there no news even after entering May?

That night, Jiang Zhiyi tossed and turned on the bed, feeling uneasy. She asked Yuan Ce to send someone to check if this rescue team had gotten lost.

Yuan Ce wasn’t very willing, lazily saying he’d do it tomorrow, seemingly hoping for a delay.

Jiang Zhiyi kept this in mind, thinking she would make sure Yuan Ce gave the order tomorrow. Who knew that at dawn the next day, still lying in bed in a daze, she suddenly heard a familiar female voice in the room: “Young Mistress, your servant has come to rescue you...!”

Both people on the bed opened their eyes simultaneously.

Jiang Zhiyi, with her hazy sleepiness, tried to recognize the voice. It wasn’t Jingzhe or Guyu, and though it sounded somewhat familiar, she couldn’t quite place it. Puzzled, she stretched out her arm to reach the bed curtain, asking: “Who is it?”

“Young Mistress, it’s Xiaoman. I’ve finally arrived after more than a month of travel. Have you been waiting—”

Jiang Zhiyi, lying on the inside, couldn’t reach the bed curtain after several attempts. Yuan Ce waved his hand and pulled the curtain aside.

The person kneeling before the bed looked up, only to see two people on the bed, one of whom was a man!

Seeing the man lying neck-to-neck with the young mistress, Xiaoman’s word “waiting anxiously” got stuck in her throat.

Indeed, a month on the road felt like ten years. At departure, Lord Hou had said that the young mistress and General Shen were in an irreconcilable quarrel and intended to break off the engagement, urgently sending people to rescue her. How could things change so drastically upon arrival?

Jiang Zhiyi stared intently at the girl whose expression changed rapidly below: “Xiaoman?”

Xiaoman quickly bowed her head in panic: “Young Mistress, it’s me.”

Jiang Zhiyi suddenly realized, as if waking from a dream, that these were the people sent by her uncle to finally arrive.

“What did you say just now?” Jiang Zhiyi, half-lying on Yuan Ce, propped herself up to ask Xiaoman.

“I... I said I came to rescue...” Xiaoman secretly lifted her eyelids, catching sight of Jiang Zhiyi’s delicate hand resting on Yuan Ce’s chest and Yuan Ce’s dangerously narrowed eyes. Trembling, she asked, “Young Mistress, does this rescue... still need to happen?”

Fifteen minutes later, Yuan Ce finished dressing and left the bedroom. Jiang Zhiyi sat in front of the dressing table, having Xiaoman comb her hair while listening to her explain the reason for the delay.

“Young Mistress, it’s all my fault for dragging everyone down. The guards sent by Lord Hou are all excellent horsemen and should have arrived in Guzang by late April. But since I’m not good at riding, we’ve delayed quite a bit...”

—Delayed until the young mistress seemed to no longer need her.

“It’s fine, it’s only been about ten days. You’ve had a hard journey; there’s no need to say more.” After Jiang Zhiyi spoke, she remembered something strange. “But I already have Jingzhe and Guyu here. Why would Uncle send another person like you?”

“Lord Hou said that those guards couldn’t communicate well with you and couldn’t understand your feelings. He sent me to see if your relationship with General Shen could be salvaged. If it’s just a normal quarrel, I’m supposed to mediate. If I find that General Shen truly treats you badly, then I’ll take you back to Chang’an.”

Jiang Zhiyi shook her head: “Uncle didn’t want to approve this marriage at first. Now he seems so reluctant to let go.”

“Not entirely. Lord Hou also told me that if you and General Shen really can’t reconcile, I should see how you get along with Master Pei.”

Remembering the letter her uncle sent over a month ago, Jiang Zhiyi initially thought her uncle mentioned Pei Zisong just to provoke Yuan Ce. Now it seemed—

“Uncle really wants to marry me off quickly. Didn’t he once say that if I don’t meet a suitable partner, I could stay in the Marquis’ residence until old age?” Jiang Zhiyi snorted.

“Don’t misunderstand Lord Hou. He hasn’t stopped caring for you. When he received the letter from the Pei family, he was very worried.”

“When you left, was everything alright at home? Did Uncle and Aunt argue? How’s Uncle’s health?”

“Young Mistress, please rest assured, everything is fine...” Xiaoman’s gaze flickered. “Oh, Young Mistress, I received a package at the post station. Princess Baojia had the postman deliver it to you from afar.”

Jiang Zhiyi’s attention was diverted, and she quickly waved her hand: “Quickly bring it here for me to see.”

Xiaoman turned around and brought a square, tightly wrapped silk bundle, handing it to Jiang Zhiyi.

Jiang Zhiyi unwrapped the three layers of silk inside and outside, revealing a delicate small sandalwood book box. She wondered what precious treasure was inside and curiously opened the latch, flipping open the lid.

On top of the box lay a letter with concise content—

“The answers to your questions in your letter are all in this box.”

Jiang Zhiyi recalled and remembered what she had asked Princess Baojia about half a month ago.

Looking into the box, she saw a crimson-covered booklet titled Romance .

A storybook delivered to her? Jiang Zhiyi picked up the booklet and flipped to the first chapter.

A vividly colored illustration caught her eye. In the picture, a man and a woman were partially dressed, their skin exposed, entangled on the bed. The woman tilted her neck and opened her mouth, moaning something, while the man leaned over her, carrying a long stick—

Jiang Zhiyi tilted her head, staring at the picture, looking left and right, up and down, finally seeming to understand something and abruptly widened her eyes.

Suddenly, footsteps approached. Someone lightly knocked on the open door and walked in: “I’m going to the camp. Will you come for lunch today?”

Holding the booklet, Jiang Zhiyi abruptly stood up. Facing Yuan Ce, who was walking step by step towards her, her gaze slowly moved from his face down to his waist belt and then lower...

Yuan Ce paused mid-step, slightly stunned, following her gaze and looking down at himself.

Seeing nothing unusual, Jiang Zhiyi shivered as if seeing a ghost. The booklet in her palm slipped and fell with a thud.

The booklet hit the floor, unfolding chapter by chapter.

Vivid colors burst forth. In each illustration, the male and female protagonists were in the bedroom, study, courtyard, flowerbeds—lying, sitting, standing, kneeling, in countless bizarre yet unified poses, dazzling to behold...

Jiang Zhiyi and Yuan Ce both lowered their heads, their gazes sweeping over these vivid scenes. Slowly raising their heads, they exchanged a glance.