IMH - 42

When it was time to leave work, Shen Shen slipped into Cheng Xiaonan’s car, saying he was going to the hotel to check last month’s financial statements on his way.

Perhaps noticing Cheng Xiaonan’s expressionless face, Shen Shen, sitting in the passenger seat, buckled his seatbelt and comforted him, “Oh, Brother Nan, you’re overthinking it. What’s the difference if either of you signs for that thing? I often buy stuff and have Ji Ran sign for it when it’s delivered home. Sometimes, if she doesn’t like the style, she’ll even refuse to sign and then call to scold me...”

Cheng Xiaonan glanced at Shen Shen while driving, “Is that the same?”

“What’s the difference? You two are together now, you’re a couple, how is it different?”

Cheng Xiaonan couldn’t be bothered to explain.

Of course, it was different. Shen Shen and Ji Ran had started showing signs of romance back in their third year of high school.

At that time, they were students, and they only had about 3 or 4 days off a month. The rest of the time, from morning to night, they were always together.

Shen Shen drooling while sleeping in class, being kicked out by the teacher to stand in the hallway for playing with his phone, ranking last in monthly exams – Ji Ran had seen all of that.

Ji Ran’s eyes swelling like walnuts from crying after a bad exam, her nose red from wiping it during a severe cold, a large bloodstain on her school uniform pants during her period – Shen Shen had seen all of that too.

Now, they had been living together for over a year, so it really didn’t matter who signed for condoms bought online.

His situation with Yu Qian was different; they had just started dating.

Cheng Xiaonan felt that if he were to take “that thing” out at a certain emotional moment, it would be a sign of respect for his girlfriend.

But to have it delivered directly to Yu Qian...

It felt like he was announcing that he was coveting something.

________________________________________

In the car, Shen Shen idly turned on the radio, which was playing an unknown ballad.

Cheng Xiaonan was a little annoyed. He floored the accelerator, drove the car to the hotel, and told Shen Shen to get lost quickly.

When he returned to Yu Qian’s room, Peter was also there.

Hearing that Yu Qian’s hospital check-up revealed nothing serious, Peter was also greatly relieved.

During their conversation, Peter mentioned that he had visited his old neighborhood a few days ago. The old houses in that area had long been demolished and replaced by tall buildings and a commercial district.

In the relocated housing community, he even met the son of his former landlord.

The little boy who used to run around the courtyard catching dragonflies now had a child over 3 years old. He mentioned Peter’s landlord, saying that he had been in poor health and had passed away two years ago.

Perhaps it was the sight that brought back memories, and he also thought of his wife, who was now in heaven.

Peter sighed, “Life is truly unpredictable.”

After a few more words, Peter suddenly asked, “Oh, by the way, Yu Qian, where did that teddy bear you gave that child come from?”

The child Peter referred to was a sick little girl Yu Qian had met by chance. Foreign media had rumored her to be Yu Qian and Peter’s child, but she had actually passed away three years ago.

At that time, Yu Qian had shaved her head for the girl, and the girl’s parents, knowing she liked Yu Qian, also agreed to let her occasionally stay overnight at Yu Qian’s place.

The girl loved an extra-large plush bear in Yu Qian’s bedroom, and Yu Qian later gave it to her.

If the girl hadn’t come out holding the plush bear, Peter wouldn’t have known that someone like Yu Qian would actually have a plush bear in her bedroom.

When asked where it came from, Yu Qian had never said.

Now, with the old topic brought up again, Yu Qian looked at Cheng Xiaonan, “He bought it.”

“When was that? How come I don’t know? Didn’t you only take one suitcase when you went abroad?” Peter asked, puzzled.

That was seven years ago. Cheng Xiaonan had bought a giant bear, saying he saw Yu Qian was unhappy and wanted to give it to her.

That bear later traveled across oceans with Yu Qian. Her entire suitcase held almost nothing else; she had to barely compress the bear in a vacuum bag to stuff it in.

It might sound simple to say, but upon closer thought, when she went abroad at that time, she only brought one thing: the bear Cheng Xiaonan bought.

Cheng Xiaonan turned his head and met Yu Qian’s gaze.

In the car, Shen Shen had also said, “Brother Nan, on second thought, you’re quite lucky too; Yu Qian hasn’t married or had a boyfriend all these years.”

Cheng Xiaonan hadn’t spoken then, but now he smiled, leaning closer to Yu Qian’s ear and mischievously whispering, “Going so far and only bringing the bear I bought? I’m very honored...”

He was about to say a few more smug words, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw the opened delivery box. Those words got stuck in his throat and weren’t uttered.

The three of them were sitting on chairs at the dining table, chatting. The small sofa was empty, with only the opened cardboard box on it. With the lid closed, it was impossible to tell what was inside; at least Peter hadn’t asked.

Cheng Xiaonan rubbed his neck, turning his head somewhat unnaturally, and changed the subject, “I brought some soup today. Teacher Peter, why don’t you stay and have some?”

“What kind of soup?”

“Just regular nourishing soup, made by our auntie at home.”

Peter opened the lid and sniffed, “Smells good, then I won’t be shy.”

Cheng Xiaonan asked Yu Qian what she wanted to eat, called the hotel, and ordered a few dishes from the restaurant to be delivered to the room for dinner.

________________________________________

After dinner, Peter left, and hotel staff came to collect the dishes.

Cheng Xiaonan watched the staff busy themselves, and inadvertently brought up the old topic again, asking Yu Qian why she thought of bringing that bear abroad.

Yu Qian simply said that when packing her luggage, she felt that everything else could be bought abroad and there was no real need to bring it. Only that bear, which Cheng Xiaonan had given her, was different from something she bought, so she brought it along.

Before Cheng Xiaonan could be happy, Yu Qian straightforwardly added that she also brought two books Han Chu had given her when they were little.

This earned a “Tch” from Cheng Xiaonan.

Yu Qian casually sat on the sofa, right next to the delivery box.

Due to the presence of this cardboard box, it was difficult for Cheng Xiaonan to focus on chatting with her.

At least, when Yu Qian asked him why he suddenly gave her a bear back then, Cheng Xiaonan’s mind wandered.

At the time, he didn’t know what girls liked. He asked a few girls in the rows in front and behind him, and they all recommended he check out a gift shop at the mall. When he went, the gift shop owner said that the giant teddy bear was very popular, just a bit expensive.

Was Cheng Xiaonan concerned about the price?

He cared whether Yu Qian could be even a tiny bit happier because of that bear, even just a little.

At that time, Yu Qian asked him why he suddenly gave her something.

“Aren’t you unhappy these days?” he had said.

Now, it seemed he had indeed given her the right thing.

Yu Qian was like that teddy bear; she looked cool but was actually filled with cotton, soft inside.

Cheng Xiaonan’s gaze swept over the delivery box, and on a whim, following his recent train of thought, he thought:

Her lips are also soft.

And her breasts.

________________________________________

It wasn’t until Yu Qian went to take a shower that Cheng Xiaonan sat on the sofa. To say he wasn’t feeling frisky would be impossible.

Since he had already bought them, he might as well check how to use them.

After Browse online for a while, Cheng Xiaonan picked up the cardboard box and shook it.

Hmm? It’s empty inside?

The sound of water flowing in the bathroom faintly reached his ears. He felt his situation was a bit awkward; he couldn’t exactly ask Yu Qian where she put the items.

When Yu Qian came out of the bathroom, Cheng Xiaonan was squatting in front of the low cabinet beside the bed, rummaging through a drawer.

“Looking for something?”

Cheng Xiaonan paused his movement, his face completely composed, “Nothing. You’re done showering, I’ll go now.”

Sharing a bathroom hadn’t given him many other thoughts before.

Today, it was like he was possessed. While showering, he kept feeling that besides the steaming scent of shower gel and shampoo, there was some other fragrance in the bathroom.

Even when he saw a patch of mist wiped off the glass door, his mind uncontrollably thought of Yu Qian’s slender waist.

The worst part was, he came out in his pajamas and saw Yu Qian sitting on the bed, holding a box of condoms, and she asked him, “Were you looking for this just now?”

Cheng Xiaonan turned his head and coughed, rubbing his neck, “I think I need to explain.”

“Explain what?”

“That thing in your hand.”

Cheng Xiaonan pointed to the item in her hand. “When I bought it, I was afraid of ‘just in case,’ cough, just in case, you know... it’s always safer to wear one, good for you too... no other meaning, it’s just...”

Yu Qian held the item in her hand and looked at Cheng Xiaonan.

This younger man was leaning against the bathroom door frame, and under the light behind him, faint wisps of steam were still visible. His eyebrows furrowed for only a moment, then were replaced by a rather helpless expression.

His lips pursed, and his dimples briefly appeared. He said with a bitter smile, “It’s over, I don’t think I can explain myself.”

Actually, he didn’t need to say anything. Yu Qian had done advertisements for birth control products abroad, and the female models crowded in the makeup room at the time spoke candidly.

One model said, “It’s more satisfying for men not to wear them. If a man is truly willing to diligently wear one every time, he’s actually considerate of women.”

Another model joked, “Oh, so your guy wears condoms every time for your sake?”

The previously outspoken model cursed playfully, not sure at whom, but she said, “My guy, forget it. He wears them just in case I get pregnant, then it’ll be hard to get rid of me. What a scumbag.”

Remembering this conversation, it seemed a bit out of place.

But Yu Qian thought, Cheng Xiaonan definitely wasn’t the “scumbag” the models talked about.

Having met many female models, she heard about all sorts of men from them, and none of them were like Cheng Xiaonan.

He had his own captivating qualities.

Like a few nights ago, she woke up from a dream. Cheng Xiaonan’s bed was empty, the quilt piled at the foot of the bed, leaving only a clear, cool moonlight.

A sliver of light snuck in through the not-quite-closed door crack. She walked to the bedroom door and heard Cheng Xiaonan speaking in a hushed voice on the phone with someone, probably Old Cheng on the other end.

Cheng Xiaonan’s voice was always particularly deep at night:

“The doctor said there’s nothing serious, just that she needs more rest. The doctor you recommended said she could be prescribed some calming herbal soup to drink.”

“What ‘drink, drink’? If you don’t drink the medicine yourself, you won’t know how bitter it is. The herbal soup my mom made me drink when I was little, even now, just thinking about it makes my tongue bitter.”

“Well, doesn’t the auntie at home make calming soup? Soup must be better than Chinese medicine, right? Ask auntie to cook some calming soup, okay? I’ll pick it up every day when I go back.”

“You wish! Of course, I hope she comes back to live with me directly, but it’s not certain if she’ll agree yet...”

“Alright, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

After that call, every two days, Cheng Xiaonan would bring a large portion of soup, containing ginseng, lotus seeds, ophiopogon, and some ingredients Yu Qian didn’t recognize.

After heating it up, it tasted very good.

He wouldn’t say that he asked the auntie to prepare it, nor would he say he was worried about her health.

He would only say, “Old Cheng must be going through menopause. He worries about me being tired all the time and tells me to drink these soups. Sister, please help me out and drink some? I really don’t like drinking it.”

Sometimes Yu Qian felt that when he was genuinely attentive to her, he was especially tempting to tease.

Yu Qian thought this, and she acted on it.

She asked Cheng Xiaonan, “When are you planning to use it?”

“...When would anyone know the exact time for that? Should I say now? Or tomorrow? You can’t say for sure. It would have to be with your consent.”

“I consent.”

Cheng Xiaonan seemed to choke, his eyes looking deeply at her, “What did you say?”

Yu Qian deliberately lowered her voice, “I said, I consent.”

From her deliberate two words, “I consent,” no one could hold back that night.

They tumbled onto the bed, kissing. Men are naturally adept at such things. Later, Cheng Xiaonan tore open the small rectangular pouch and took out the item.

Every night in “Wutongli” was like this: the wind howled softly outside the window, rustling the bare branches of the plane trees.

Once, Cheng Xiaonan had very unreasonably told Yu Qian that these branches didn’t even have leaves, what were they swaying around for?

The branches, upon hearing this, would probably cry themselves to death in the cold winter wind.

However, Cheng Xiaonan’s efforts to research how to use it ultimately proved futile.

It was Yu Qian who took it and helped him put it on.