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Zhou Yu brushed aside the stray hairs on her forehead, feeling a shallow scar.
“This scar is from the first time you pushed me into a billiard table when I told you not to bother me, Yanci. I didn’t abandon you, it was you...”
Her voice trailed off.
Because she saw Yanci’s tears.
In the three days after Mr. and Mrs. Yan passed away, Zhou Yu was also at the funeral home. There were many rituals for funerals in the county. Yanci, being an only child, had to keep vigil and return greetings to those who came to pay their respects. For those three days, he mostly knelt in the mourning hall.
In less than half a year, what she had experienced, he had also experienced.
And likewise, he hadn’t shed a single tear.
Before Zhou Liwen passed away, he left Zhou Yu a few short lines on paper. She didn’t witness her father’s death, only learned the result from his co-workers. By the time she took a train from Baicheng, flew from the city, and then took a bus to the hospital, he was already covered by a white sheet.
Yanci’s parents were rushed to the hospital from the car accident scene at 5 PM, and passed away consecutively between 4 and 5 AM the next day, unable to leave him a single word.
“Scar?” He took off his hat and exposed the same spot on his forehead as Zhou Yu’s scar. “I’ve paid you back.”
He walked forward, and she retreated.
“Yanci, don’t be like this.”
“Like what?”
“...I’m sorry,” Zhou Yu knew how pale and powerless these three words were, but besides that, she didn’t know what else to say.
The wind blew snow into their clothes. Yanci’s hands were numb with cold, and even his body was trembling.
He hugged Zhou Yu tightly, like a drowning person grasping at a straw. “Zhou Yu, you just don’t understand.”
Cold liquid fell onto her neck, and Zhou Yu’s attempt to push him away stopped.
He said, “I don’t want your apology. I want you to suffer as much as I do.”
To suffer because of the grievances between them.
To suffer because of his long-standing love for her.
Being too close to her made him despise himself, but pushing her away also made him toss and turn sleeplessly.
For so long, he had been trapped in a dead end, unable to get out, thinking she was the same. He never thought another person would step in.
She walked out, what about him?
________________________________________
Cheng Yuzhou woke up in the morning feeling like he had a cold. Since Zhou Yu and he had been outside for so long last night, he was a bit worried if she might have gotten sick too.
He didn’t eat breakfast at home and left ten minutes early to buy medicine.
When he got to school, Zhou Yu’s seat was empty. She was rarely late, having only been late twice since the semester started. She still hadn’t arrived even after the morning self-study session ended.
Yanci was habitually late, which Cheng Yuzhou was used to.
The teacher hadn’t left the classroom yet, and Cheng Yanqing was slumped listlessly on his desk. He didn’t even go to call Cheng Yuzhou for breakfast.
Cheng Yuzhou walked over and lightly nudged his chair with his foot. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t mind me, I’m so annoyed,” Cheng Yanqing wished he could bury his head in his books. His desk was a mess. “I’m not eating. I’m not hungry. Go find Qing Hang.”
“Starving yourself for whom? She’s not here. Even if you starve yourself to death, she’ll still flirt with whoever she wants to.”
A knife pierced Cheng Yanqing’s heart. He glared indignantly at Cheng Yuzhou, his eyes red. “You just wait!”
“Alright, what do you want to eat? I’ll get it for you. If you don’t say, I’ll just buy whatever.”
“Damn it, whatever.”
Qing Hang had to go to the office, so Cheng Yuzhou went downstairs first. Cheng Wanyue was already waiting on the sports field. She held her new cup, assuming Zhou Yu would be with Cheng Yuzhou, and even thought about sharing half of the sweet tremella soup in her insulated cup with Zhou Yu.
“Where’s Ayu?”
“She didn’t come to school.”
“Maybe something happened at home. Grandma’s old, sometimes she throws tantrums. And it’s Uncle Zhou’s death anniversary in a few days, so Auntie’s probably not in a good mood either,” Cheng Wanyue sighed softly. “Brother, if you and Ayu get together in the future, you must treat her well. She’s really suffered a lot.”
Without a formal confession, they weren’t officially together.
Zhou Yu’s grades were somewhat unstable, fluctuating. Cheng Yuzhou had promised not to affect her before the gaokao.
“Not against it anymore?”
“I think you’re better, and besides, Ayu seems to like you quite a lot.”
“Are you out of money again?”
“Mm-hmm, my pockets are cleaner than my face. This week’s breakfast will have to depend on my handsome Brother Zhouzhou. Cheng Yanqing is also an idiot. In the future, you might have to earn money to support the three of us. Ayu will be in charge of filling your after-work hours, and Cheng Yanqing will be in charge of cleaning.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll, of course, be in charge of keeping you all happy.”
Cheng Wanyue liked the steamed buns from a breakfast shop outside the school. As soon as she and Cheng Yuzhou sat down, Gao Rui also arrived.
There were no other empty seats in the shop, so Gao Rui and another classmate went to sit at Cheng Wanyue’s table.
Cheng Yuzhou was distracted, thinking about Zhou Yu, and didn’t even notice Gao Rui sitting down and greeting him.
Cheng Wanyue ate slowly, so she let Cheng Yuzhou go back to the classroom first.
“Ruirui,” Cheng Wanyue felt bad about what she had done. Gao Rui was also her friend. “My brother, he actually...”
Gao Rui smiled. “I know, he doesn’t feel that way about me. I do like him a little, but luckily it’s just a little bit.”
She had her pride too; there was no need to let herself fall into a self-pitying relationship over a boy who didn’t even see her.
“No need to apologize. I was the one who asked you to introduce him to me first.”
Cheng Wanyue breathed a sigh of relief when she heard her say that. “You’re so talented; you’ll definitely meet someone better in the future.”
Gao Rui smiled. “Of course.”
________________________________________
Li Zhen had afternoon classes. As a homeroom teacher, besides the weekly class meeting, he would also spend a few minutes talking about class matters during his regular lessons.
He never kept students past the bell. As soon as the bell rang, he would put down the chalk and tell students to go out and be active during breaks, not to stay cooped up in the classroom.
“The weather has been cold recently, everyone please pay attention to keeping warm. Don’t tough it out if you’re sick; go to the hospital early. Oh, Yanci and Zhou Yu have requested sick leave. If any teachers ask these two days, the class monitor please explain.”
Qing Hang nodded. “Okay.”
Cheng Yuzhou sighed regretfully; she was indeed sick.
After his last class, he went to Li Zhen to ask for leave. Li Zhen asked him to take his temperature; he indeed had a slight fever, so he approved his leave slip. He only told Cheng Yanqing before leaving.
Cheng Yanqing still looked dejected from the morning. “No evening self-study?”
“No. You help me take my homework back.”
“Alright, alright, just get lost.”
After leaving school, Cheng Yuzhou went to Zhou Yu’s house.
Someone was home, but it took several minutes for the door to open.
He had visited a few times with Cheng Wanyue during the summer vacation, and Liu Fen still remembered him, but she didn’t let him in, only opening the door halfway and asking what he wanted.
“Zhou Yu and I are classmates. The homeroom teacher said she was sick and asked me to drop off the exam papers for tomorrow and the day after on my way.”
Liu Fen said, “Zhou Yu is getting an IV drip at the hospital.”
“Excuse me, is it the county hospital or the traditional Chinese medicine hospital?” The two hospitals were far apart.
“The county hospital.”
Zhou Yu didn’t get out of bed in the morning, and Liu Fen only then discovered she had a fever. She was a bit delirious from the fever, and medicine wasn’t working. It got worse in the afternoon, so Liu Fen woke her up to go to the hospital for an IV drip.
When Cheng Yuzhou went to Zhou’s house, Liu Fen had only been back from the hospital for less than twenty minutes.
There were many patients with colds and fevers these past few days, and the county hospital’s IV drip hall was filled with the cries of children.
Zhou Yu arrived late and only had a seat near the drafty area.
A cartoon was playing on the TV to soothe the children. About a third of the bottle had dripped when she started to feel drowsy. The nurses were too busy, so she had to watch the IV bottle herself, only daring to lean back in her chair and doze off for a short while.
A hot water bottle appeared in her arms. Zhou Yu slowly opened her eyes. Cheng Yuzhou, standing in front of her, was taking off his jacket.
“Why are you here?”
Her voice was hoarse.
“Came to buy medicine. I saw you before the medicine was ready,” Cheng Yuzhou covered her with his jacket and reached out to touch her forehead. “You have such a high fever, are you very uncomfortable?”
The door was open, and people were constantly going in and out, letting in cold drafts.
“I’m fine,” Zhou Yu returned the jacket to him. “I’m not cold. You put your clothes on quickly.”
“I’m not cold either. You wear it.”
“If you don’t wear it, I don’t want this hot water bottle either.”
She had a severe cold and high fever, and her voice was nasal, but it didn’t sound like anger. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes were moist at the corners. At this moment, Cheng Yuzhou would listen to whatever she said.
Cheng Yuzhou took the jacket back and put it on, then sat beside her, blocking the wind.
Afternoon meal was only an hour long. Zhou Yu looked at the time on the TV; it was already 6:30 PM. “Aren’t you going to class tonight?”
“I asked for leave,” Cheng Yuzhou supported her head against his shoulder. “Lean on me. I’ll wake you when it’s done.”
Zhou Yu was muddled and didn’t pay attention to the people around her.
She finished the first bottle of medicine leaning on him like that. When the nurse came to change the medicine, she suddenly felt a little embarrassed and sat up straight, using the excuse of a stiff neck.
Cheng Yuzhou got a cup of hot water to take his medicine. Just then, the nurse also brought Zhou Yu’s oral medicine.
“Don’t move, I’ll feed you,” Cheng Yuzhou brought the cup to her lips, gently touching her face. “How do you seem to have lost so much weight in just one day?”
Zhou Yu curled her lips into a smile. “Not at all.”
“Do you want to eat something?”
“My mouth feels very bitter; I have no appetite,” she remembered the past. “When I was little and sick, I always wanted to eat canned fruit. My grandma had a wooden box full of fruit candies, canned goods, and biscuits. Grandma would always make me hide under the covers and secretly give them to me.”
“I’ll go buy some.”
“I was just talking. It’s so cold now,” Zhou Yu held his hand. She still had a large bottle of medicine. “You go home first, or your cold will get worse too.”
“Let it get worse, I wanted to slack off and rest for two days anyway,” Cheng Yuzhou tightly held her hand before Zhou Yu could let go.
The surrounding patients and family members gradually left after their IV drips were done, and the ear became quiet.
Yanci was led by the nurse to the IV drip hall. Zhou Yu saw him first and pulled her hand out of Cheng Yuzhou’s palm.
The nurse behind them said there were too many students with colds and fevers recently, and another one had arrived.
Cheng Yuzhou turned his head, following Zhou Yu’s gaze. Yanci stood at the doorway, holding a can of yellow peach preserves.
________________________________________
Chapter 35
Zhou Yu brushed aside the stray hairs on her forehead, feeling a shallow scar.
“This scar is from the first time you pushed me into a billiard table when I told you not to bother me, Yanci. I didn’t abandon you, it was you...”
Her voice trailed off.
Because she saw Yanci’s tears.
In the three days after Mr. and Mrs. Yan passed away, Zhou Yu was also at the funeral home. There were many rituals for funerals in the county. Yanci, being an only child, had to keep vigil and return greetings to those who came to pay their respects. For those three days, he mostly knelt in the mourning hall.
In less than half a year, what she had experienced, he had also experienced.
And likewise, he hadn’t shed a single tear.
Before Zhou Liwen passed away, he left Zhou Yu a few short lines on paper. She didn’t witness her father’s death, only learned the result from his co-workers. By the time she took a train from Baicheng, flew from the city, and then took a bus to the hospital, he was already covered by a white sheet.
Yanci’s parents were rushed to the hospital from the car accident scene at 5 PM, and passed away consecutively between 4 and 5 AM the next day, unable to leave him a single word.
“Scar?” He took off his hat and exposed the same spot on his forehead as Zhou Yu’s scar. “I’ve paid you back.”
He walked forward, and she retreated.
“Yanci, don’t be like this.”
“Like what?”
“...I’m sorry,” Zhou Yu knew how pale and powerless these three words were, but besides that, she didn’t know what else to say.
The wind blew snow into their clothes. Yanci’s hands were numb with cold, and even his body was trembling.
He hugged Zhou Yu tightly, like a drowning person grasping at a straw. “Zhou Yu, you just don’t understand.”
Cold liquid fell onto her neck, and Zhou Yu’s attempt to push him away stopped.
He said, “I don’t want your apology. I want you to suffer as much as I do.”
To suffer because of the grievances between them.
To suffer because of his long-standing love for her.
Being too close to her made him despise himself, but pushing her away also made him toss and turn sleeplessly.
For so long, he had been trapped in a dead end, unable to get out, thinking she was the same. He never thought another person would step in.
She walked out, what about him?
________________________________________
Cheng Yuzhou woke up in the morning feeling like he had a cold. Since Zhou Yu and he had been outside for so long last night, he was a bit worried if she might have gotten sick too.
He didn’t eat breakfast at home and left ten minutes early to buy medicine.
When he got to school, Zhou Yu’s seat was empty. She was rarely late, having only been late twice since the semester started. She still hadn’t arrived even after the morning self-study session ended.
Yanci was habitually late, which Cheng Yuzhou was used to.
The teacher hadn’t left the classroom yet, and Cheng Yanqing was slumped listlessly on his desk. He didn’t even go to call Cheng Yuzhou for breakfast.
Cheng Yuzhou walked over and lightly nudged his chair with his foot. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t mind me, I’m so annoyed,” Cheng Yanqing wished he could bury his head in his books. His desk was a mess. “I’m not eating. I’m not hungry. Go find Qing Hang.”
“Starving yourself for whom? She’s not here. Even if you starve yourself to death, she’ll still flirt with whoever she wants to.”
A knife pierced Cheng Yanqing’s heart. He glared indignantly at Cheng Yuzhou, his eyes red. “You just wait!”
“Alright, what do you want to eat? I’ll get it for you. If you don’t say, I’ll just buy whatever.”
“Damn it, whatever.”
Qing Hang had to go to the office, so Cheng Yuzhou went downstairs first. Cheng Wanyue was already waiting on the sports field. She held her new cup, assuming Zhou Yu would be with Cheng Yuzhou, and even thought about sharing half of the sweet tremella soup in her insulated cup with Zhou Yu.
“Where’s Ayu?”
“She didn’t come to school.”
“Maybe something happened at home. Grandma’s old, sometimes she throws tantrums. And it’s Uncle Zhou’s death anniversary in a few days, so Auntie’s probably not in a good mood either,” Cheng Wanyue sighed softly. “Brother, if you and Ayu get together in the future, you must treat her well. She’s really suffered a lot.”
Without a formal confession, they weren’t officially together.
Zhou Yu’s grades were somewhat unstable, fluctuating. Cheng Yuzhou had promised not to affect her before the gaokao.
“Not against it anymore?”
“I think you’re better, and besides, Ayu seems to like you quite a lot.”
“Are you out of money again?”
“Mm-hmm, my pockets are cleaner than my face. This week’s breakfast will have to depend on my handsome Brother Zhouzhou. Cheng Yanqing is also an idiot. In the future, you might have to earn money to support the three of us. Ayu will be in charge of filling your after-work hours, and Cheng Yanqing will be in charge of cleaning.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll, of course, be in charge of keeping you all happy.”
Cheng Wanyue liked the steamed buns from a breakfast shop outside the school. As soon as she and Cheng Yuzhou sat down, Gao Rui also arrived.
There were no other empty seats in the shop, so Gao Rui and another classmate went to sit at Cheng Wanyue’s table.
Cheng Yuzhou was distracted, thinking about Zhou Yu, and didn’t even notice Gao Rui sitting down and greeting him.
Cheng Wanyue ate slowly, so she let Cheng Yuzhou go back to the classroom first.
“Ruirui,” Cheng Wanyue felt bad about what she had done. Gao Rui was also her friend. “My brother, he actually...”
Gao Rui smiled. “I know, he doesn’t feel that way about me. I do like him a little, but luckily it’s just a little bit.”
She had her pride too; there was no need to let herself fall into a self-pitying relationship over a boy who didn’t even see her.
“No need to apologize. I was the one who asked you to introduce him to me first.”
Cheng Wanyue breathed a sigh of relief when she heard her say that. “You’re so talented; you’ll definitely meet someone better in the future.”
Gao Rui smiled. “Of course.”
________________________________________
Li Zhen had afternoon classes. As a homeroom teacher, besides the weekly class meeting, he would also spend a few minutes talking about class matters during his regular lessons.
He never kept students past the bell. As soon as the bell rang, he would put down the chalk and tell students to go out and be active during breaks, not to stay cooped up in the classroom.
“The weather has been cold recently, everyone please pay attention to keeping warm. Don’t tough it out if you’re sick; go to the hospital early. Oh, Yanci and Zhou Yu have requested sick leave. If any teachers ask these two days, the class monitor please explain.”
Qing Hang nodded. “Okay.”
Cheng Yuzhou sighed regretfully; she was indeed sick.
After his last class, he went to Li Zhen to ask for leave. Li Zhen asked him to take his temperature; he indeed had a slight fever, so he approved his leave slip. He only told Cheng Yanqing before leaving.
Cheng Yanqing still looked dejected from the morning. “No evening self-study?”
“No. You help me take my homework back.”
“Alright, alright, just get lost.”
After leaving school, Cheng Yuzhou went to Zhou Yu’s house.
Someone was home, but it took several minutes for the door to open.
He had visited a few times with Cheng Wanyue during the summer vacation, and Liu Fen still remembered him, but she didn’t let him in, only opening the door halfway and asking what he wanted.
“Zhou Yu and I are classmates. The homeroom teacher said she was sick and asked me to drop off the exam papers for tomorrow and the day after on my way.”
Liu Fen said, “Zhou Yu is getting an IV drip at the hospital.”
“Excuse me, is it the county hospital or the traditional Chinese medicine hospital?” The two hospitals were far apart.
“The county hospital.”
Zhou Yu didn’t get out of bed in the morning, and Liu Fen only then discovered she had a fever. She was a bit delirious from the fever, and medicine wasn’t working. It got worse in the afternoon, so Liu Fen woke her up to go to the hospital for an IV drip.
When Cheng Yuzhou went to Zhou’s house, Liu Fen had only been back from the hospital for less than twenty minutes.
There were many patients with colds and fevers these past few days, and the county hospital’s IV drip hall was filled with the cries of children.
Zhou Yu arrived late and only had a seat near the drafty area.
A cartoon was playing on the TV to soothe the children. About a third of the bottle had dripped when she started to feel drowsy. The nurses were too busy, so she had to watch the IV bottle herself, only daring to lean back in her chair and doze off for a short while.
A hot water bottle appeared in her arms. Zhou Yu slowly opened her eyes. Cheng Yuzhou, standing in front of her, was taking off his jacket.
“Why are you here?”
Her voice was hoarse.
“Came to buy medicine. I saw you before the medicine was ready,” Cheng Yuzhou covered her with his jacket and reached out to touch her forehead. “You have such a high fever, are you very uncomfortable?”
The door was open, and people were constantly going in and out, letting in cold drafts.
“I’m fine,” Zhou Yu returned the jacket to him. “I’m not cold. You put your clothes on quickly.”
“I’m not cold either. You wear it.”
“If you don’t wear it, I don’t want this hot water bottle either.”
She had a severe cold and high fever, and her voice was nasal, but it didn’t sound like anger. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes were moist at the corners. At this moment, Cheng Yuzhou would listen to whatever she said.
Cheng Yuzhou took the jacket back and put it on, then sat beside her, blocking the wind.
Afternoon meal was only an hour long. Zhou Yu looked at the time on the TV; it was already 6:30 PM. “Aren’t you going to class tonight?”
“I asked for leave,” Cheng Yuzhou supported her head against his shoulder. “Lean on me. I’ll wake you when it’s done.”
Zhou Yu was muddled and didn’t pay attention to the people around her.
She finished the first bottle of medicine leaning on him like that. When the nurse came to change the medicine, she suddenly felt a little embarrassed and sat up straight, using the excuse of a stiff neck.
Cheng Yuzhou got a cup of hot water to take his medicine. Just then, the nurse also brought Zhou Yu’s oral medicine.
“Don’t move, I’ll feed you,” Cheng Yuzhou brought the cup to her lips, gently touching her face. “How do you seem to have lost so much weight in just one day?”
Zhou Yu curled her lips into a smile. “Not at all.”
“Want to eat something?”
“My mouth feels very bitter; I have no appetite,” she remembered the past. “When I was little and sick, I always wanted to eat canned fruit. My grandma had a wooden box full of fruit candies, canned goods, and biscuits. Grandma would always make me hide under the covers and secretly give them to me.”
“I’ll go buy some.”
“I was just talking. It’s so cold now,” Zhou Yu held his hand. She still had a large bottle of medicine. “You go home first, or your cold will get worse too.”
“Let it get worse, I wanted to slack off and rest for two days anyway,” Cheng Yuzhou tightly held her hand before Zhou Yu could let go.
The surrounding patients and family members gradually left after their IV drips were done, and the ear became quiet.
Yanci was led by the nurse to the IV drip hall. Zhou Yu saw him first and pulled her hand out of Cheng Yuzhou’s palm.
The nurse behind them said there were too many students with colds and fevers recently, and another one had arrived.
Cheng Yuzhou turned his head, following Zhou Yu’s gaze. Yanci stood at the doorway, holding a can of yellow peach preserves.
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