IMH - 24

Perhaps it was due to being in the same company and having similar schedules, but for a few days, almost every time Yu Qian left her hotel room, she would encounter Cheng Xiaonan.

Sometimes, when she was about to go eat, Cheng Xiaonan would naturally ask, “Shall we go together?”

Other times, when she was about to go to the company, Cheng Xiaonan would be even more natural, “Shall we go together?”

Yu Qian had intentionally tried to avoid Cheng Xiaonan, but most of the time, Cheng Xiaonan didn’t act as difficult as he used to. When eating together or sharing a ride to the company, he wasn’t always looking for topics to talk about.

Sometimes, they were like two people sharing a table or a car, without conversing much.

So Yu Qian didn’t overly avoid him.

The weather this year was very unusual. After mid-November, there were strong winds for ten consecutive days.

In the quiet night, one could hear dry leaves being swept down by the wind. In the morning, one could still see several sycamore tree balls that had fallen from the treetops by the roadside.

They looked very much like large, brown bayberries. Yu Qian would step on them while waiting for a car.

The spherical object would turn into fluff and be scattered by the wind. Cheng Xiaonan happened to park his car in front of her, tipping his head slightly: “Get in.”

However, this morning, Yu Qian came out of her room, walked a few steps down the hotel corridor, and then suddenly paused, feeling as if something was off.

She looked back at the empty corridor, feeling a bit unaccustomed.

Cheng Xiaonan hadn’t appeared today?

Sun Yue came to pick her up, saying that Cheng Xiaonan seemed to have other matters to attend to these days and wouldn’t be coming to the company.

Yu Qian only nodded, appearing to have no particular reaction.

In the following days, Cheng Xiaonan really didn’t appear again.

However, after one particular photoshoot, Yu Qian met Shen Shen’s girlfriend in the lounge.

While preparing for the Angu show, Shen Shen’s girlfriend often dined with Shen Shen, and Yu Qian had seen her a few times. She knew her name was Ji Ran, and she was a cheerful and straightforward woman.

But meeting her now, Ji Ran wasn’t smiling anymore. Her eye makeup was a bit smudged, and eyeliner had spread at the corners of her eyes, making her look like she had been crying.

Yu Qian was planning to go to the smoking room inside the lounge for a cigarette. Just as she pushed open the lounge door, Ji Ran happened to look up.

Their eyes met, and Yu Qian nodded.

It was Ji Ran who proactively called out to Yu Qian. She sniffled: “Yu Qian, do you have any tissues?”

Yu Qian felt her pants pocket, pulled out a cigarette pack and tissues, and handed the tissues over.

“Thank you.”

Ji Ran took the tissues, her eyes reddening again, “Yu Qian, I wish I were as cool as you.”

Yu Qian raised an eyebrow, not understanding, and realized that Ji Ran clearly wanted to chat with her for a bit.

She put the cigarette pack back in her pants pocket and moved a chair to sit opposite Ji Ran.

It was 3 PM, and the weather wasn’t good. Even with the windows tightly closed, they could hear the rustling wind outside.

Within the sound of the wind, Ji Ran sighed with a sobbing voice: “I suddenly don’t know if I should get married.”

Yu Qian didn’t know how to answer this question.

In her opinion, Shen Shen and Ji Ran were a couple deeply in love.

They were so affectionate it was almost nauseating. When eating at the same restaurant, you could often see them feeding each other.

Ji Ran herself probably felt that talking about such a topic with Yu Qian was a bit too familiar, but sometimes when she was sad, she truly couldn’t control the urgent desire to confide in someone.

It felt as if just speaking it out would make her feel much better.

So Ji Ran slowly began to narrate her conflicts with Shen Shen.

In truth, when lovers have been together for a long time, conflicts accumulate. Shen Shen, with his smiling and humorous demeanor, wasn’t a meticulous man. He would forget things he promised Ji Ran because of basketball games, video games, or car shows.

Forgetting to buy things for her, forgetting her menstrual cycle and buying her cold drinks, forgetting their planned movie dates, forgetting their anniversary.

These small things, taken individually, might not be worth making a fuss over, but accumulated day by day, year by year, they truly erupted into immense resentment.

Although Yu Qian appeared cool and detached, her gaze was serious when she listened.

This gave Ji Ran some psychological comfort.

Ji Ran wiped a tear, sighing, “You definitely don’t have gripes like mine. Brother Nan is quite meticulous. I heard Shen Shen say Brother Nan is so afraid of the dark that he won’t even go into movie theaters. The other day when the hotel had a power outage, he still saw you back to the hotel. Shen Shen couldn’t do that.”

Yu Qian truly wasn’t a woman who excelled at comforting others. She thought for a moment and said jokingly, “And then he had a fight with the Pixiu.”

“I heard about that.”

Fortunately, Ji Ran’s personality was originally cheerful. Upon mentioning this, she finally broke into a smile through her tears, but her tone quickly became serious again. “But don’t look down on Brother Nan for being afraid of the dark. Anyone who’s experienced what he has would be afraid of the dark.”

Yu Qian frowned amidst the sound of the wind and Ji Ran’s voice, hearing Ji Ran say that Brother Nan discovered his mother’s death in complete darkness.

Ji Ran had also heard it from Shen Shen.

At that time, they were in high school. The class monitor announced that the school had arranged for them to watch a movie in the auditorium that afternoon. Cheng Xiaonan was sleeping with his head on his desk. Shen Shen asked, “They’re showing a movie, Brother Nan, aren’t you going?”

Cheng Xiaonan buried his head in his arms and lazily responded, “Mm.”

High school boys, when joking, had no sense of boundaries. The boy in the front seat leaned back on his chair, oblivious to Shen Shen’s winks and nudges, and continued to tease:

“Why isn’t Brother Nan going? Why doesn’t Brother Nan go every time they organize a documentary viewing?”

“Last time they said they were going to watch ‘Avengers,’ Brother Nan didn’t go either.”

“Is he perhaps afraid of the dark, hahahahahahaha...”

“Holy cow, really? Brother Nan, are you actually afraid of the dark?”

Cheng Xiaonan, who was usually languid towards people and matters, slowly looked up that day, his gaze terrifying: “Shut up, get lost.”

The boys immediately fell silent.

Later, Shen Shen told Ji Ran that Cheng Xiaonan’s mother had cancer and passed away one night.

At that time, Cheng’s mother didn’t want to be hospitalized. The doctor said optimistically she only had six months left, so she insisted on going home to live with her husband and son.

The night she passed away was the day before Mother’s Day. Cheng Xiaonan’s father had a meeting and needed to return late.

That day, there were no signs. Cheng’s father even called Cheng Xiaonan, asking him, “You little rascal, have you prepared a gift for your mother?”

Cheng Xiaonan said, “Of course. What’s wrong, Old Cheng? Don’t tell me you didn’t prepare one?”

Cheng’s father lowered his voice and said, “Nonsense, how could I not prepare one! But I’ll be very late from my meeting today. Help me deliver the gift from the study drawer to your mother.”

Father and son conspired to have Cheng Xiaonan quietly place the gift by his mother’s bedside before midnight, after she had fallen asleep.

That night, Cheng Xiaonan first went to his father’s study, opened the drawer, and found the gift box. Inside was a string of antique ruby necklaces, probably quite valuable.

Cheng Xiaonan compared it to the bracelet he had saved money to buy and felt a bit embarrassed.

He simply tore off the note his dad wrote, “Happy holidays to my wife, I love you forever,” and stuck it onto the bracelet box.

He then pulled off a note himself, wrote “Happy Mother’s Day, my beauty,” and stuck it onto the antique necklace box.

After doing this, Cheng Xiaonan, carrying both gift boxes, crept into his mother’s bedroom in the dark.

After all, he was only in middle school, and a boy at that. Cheng Xiaonan wasn’t that meticulous.

The gift box was successfully placed by his mother’s bedside, but as he turned around, he tripped over the phone charger cable, and the phone fell to the ground, making a considerable noise.

Cheng’s mother had been a light sleeper since falling ill; such a sound should have woken her long ago.

But she didn’t.

Cheng Xiaonan held his breath for a few seconds, then said with a laugh, “Our beautiful lady, stop pretending to be asleep, you’re not even breathing...”

At this point, he suddenly stopped speaking, his whole body sinking into the darkness, his mind blank.

“Mom?”

Cheng Xiaonan walked to the bedside, knelt down, and gently touched his mother’s hand. “Mom? You’re just scaring me, right?”

There were many miracles on TV: cancer patients, if they were happy, could recover.

That night at dinner, Cheng’s mother even promised Cheng Xiaonan that the family of three would go live on a farm in Australia for a while during the New Year.

They thought there would always be time, perhaps half a year, perhaps ten years, there would always be time.

But no miracle happened. Cheng’s mother passed away in the third month after returning home.

How much fear and sadness the young Cheng Xiaonan experienced when his closest relative passed away in the darkness was unknown.

The wind outside continued to howl; such windy weather was unpleasant.

A sycamore leaf drifted down and was then violently slapped against the lounge window by a strong gust.

Yu Qian suddenly felt a little irritated. She subconsciously made a gesture of shaking her hand, as if the yellowish leaf hadn’t hit the window, but her.

She remembered the rare few days of vacation she had, and Cheng Xiaonan asked her one weekend what she wanted to do during her time off.

She said she might watch a movie.

Cheng Xiaonan replied after a long time:

[What’s the point of watching a movie alone? I’ll go with you.]

Before entering the cinema, Cheng Xiaonan asked Yu Qian, “If I said I was afraid of the dark, would you believe me?”

Yu Qian, of course, didn’t believe him, thinking he was just joking.

Cheng Xiaonan showed no unusual behavior when they entered, only when the cinema lights suddenly dimmed before the movie started, he suddenly nudged Yu Qian with his elbow.

Yu Qian turned her head and asked him, “What’s wrong?”

Cheng Xiaonan hooked down his 3D glasses and nonchalantly said, “Nothing. Don’t eat all the popcorn, save some for me.”

A few days ago, in the power-out hotel, the grown-up Cheng Xiaonan, who no longer constantly joked with her, casually told her why there was a Pixiu in the hotel.

He had never mentioned that there were times he was afraid too.

________________________________________

Ji Ran later talked about some things from high school, and Yu Qian was quite distracted.

This continued until Shen Shen came over, carrying a pile of various shopping bags, which he shoved into Ji Ran’s arms.

Shen Shen also pulled out a crumpled, tattered little notebook, in which he had recorded the reasons for Ji Ran’s every fit of anger.

He said he indeed often failed to consider many of the things she cared about, that he was to blame, but that he truly loved her.

They would be hysterical when arguing, yet deeply aware of each other’s numerous flaws.

But when they left the lounge, they were already holding hands.

Crying and complaining about someone might be because of deep affection.

What about deliberate avoidance?

What is that because of?

Yu Qian saw Cheng Xiaonan again a few days later at a meeting.

She sat with several models who had schedules, in a spacious conference hall, listening to a manager arrange upcoming photoshoot work.

Cheng Xiaonan also sat among them, silent as in previous meetings.

He seemed to be in low spirits, with drooping eyelids, leaning bonelessly against his chair.

Her phone vibrated in her bag. The content the manager was discussing was irrelevant to her, so Yu Qian lowered her eyes to her phone screen.

Her phone had no password; she could see the full message without unlocking it.

It was from Han Chu:

[Qianqian, the wind is strong in the imperial capital lately, be careful when you go out.]

[Are you free this weekend to have dinner together?]

Yu Qian didn’t intend to open it, nor did she intend to reply. She dimmed her phone and then looked up, suddenly meeting Cheng Xiaonan’s gaze.

In the meeting room of over 20 people, across the long, dark wooden table, Yu Qian’s gaze paused, then withdrew.

After the meeting, Cheng Xiaonan felt his hot forehead, frowned, and walked out of the meeting room.

He suddenly heard a staff member say, “Don’t close the meeting room door yet, Teacher Yu Qian left her bag here.”

“Send it to Assistant Sun Yue then. Isn’t Assistant Sun Yue with Teacher Yu Qian?”

“Assistant Sun Yue is on a short business trip today and won’t be back until tomorrow. Do you have Teacher Yu Qian’s number?”

“I don’t... How about...”

Cheng Xiaonan stopped walking, pulled out his phone, and walked back while dialing: “Just give Yu Qian’s bag to me.”

Yu Qian didn’t answer, but the bucket bag he was holding vibrated.

Cheng Xiaonan hung up the phone, lowered his head to look, and happened to see the missed call displayed on the screen.

And Han Chu’s two messages.

Qianqian.

Quite sappy.

Yu Qian only remembered her bag was left in the meeting room after finishing her photoshoot, so she had to go back to the office building.

It was already past the administrative department’s closing time, and the office building was very quiet. The meeting room door was already locked, so it seemed her bag couldn’t be retrieved.

Actually, there was nothing particularly important in it.

The hotel room door couldn’t be opened without a key card, but she could ask a staff member to help send a spare card.

Her phone was in her bag, but she had no urgent calls anyway.

As Yu Qian was about to leave, a staff member working overtime saw her: “Teacher Yu Qian, are you here for your bag?”

“Mm.”

The staff member said, “CEO Cheng took your bag. You can contact him.”

Yu Qian wasn’t planning to contact Cheng Xiaonan, but after going downstairs, she found that Cheng Xiaonan’s car was parked at the office building entrance.

The car window was open, and her bag was on the passenger seat.

Cheng Xiaonan had reclined the seat halfway and was lying back, eyes closed, resting.

Yu Qian walked over and noticed his eyelids were faintly pink, softening the sharp corners of his eyes when awake. His lips were pursed into a straight line, revealing the faint trace of dimples, giving him a softness different from his daytime appearance.

Perhaps sensing her gaze, Cheng Xiaonan opened his eyes.

He looked at Yu Qian, didn’t move, and just said weakly, “I think I have a fever.”