Chapter 7: Letting Go

The scent of medicinal herbs lingered outside the house. To make the act convincing, Huixiang had been brewing medicine in the courtyard for several days in a row.

When Huixiang entered with a bowl of medicine, Shi Luoyi was leaning by the window, gazing at the red plum blossoms outside the courtyard.

The red plums bloomed vibrantly on the branches, exuding an air of solitary pride.

Following her gaze, Huixiang remarked, “Miss, are you looking at the plum blossoms? The winters here in Mingyou Mountain are indeed different from those in Buye Mountain. I’ve heard that many poets in the mortal realm adore this flower and write poems about it. Do you like plum blossoms too?”

“I don’t,” Shi Luoyi said dismissively. “Blooming in the icy snow, clinging stubbornly to their fragrance, so cold and defiant—only to become spring mud as soon as it warms up. It’s tiring and foolish.”

It reminded her of her past life—enduring bitterness, swallowing every hardship, only to die alone in a broken temple. How tragic. What was there to praise?

Huixiang wanted to laugh. Though Shi Luoyi claimed she didn’t like the flowers, it was clear she was defending them.

Huixiang recalled the news brought by the spirit sisters earlier that morning: Wei Changyuan had returned to the mountain today, and Bian Qingxuan had gone to the gates early to greet him.

She couldn’t help but feel worried for Shi Luoyi.

The young miss had been betrothed to the eldest son of the Wei family since childhood, growing up together as childhood sweethearts. Huixiang knew just how much Shi Luoyi had once adored him.

Huixiang remembered decades ago when Princess Wanxun fell gravely ill. Daojun Shihuan had tried everything to save her, taking her to various immortal mountains for treatment, but to no avail. On the day the princess passed away, little Miss Luoyi seemed to sense it deeply, understanding that her mother would never return. She refused to leave the palace of Nanyue with the people Daojun had sent to fetch her.

Still a child, she cried inconsolably in the palace chambers late into the night, calling out for her mother. The maids managed to soothe her to sleep, only for her to wake up screaming from nightmares.

At that time, Wei Changyuan was just a young boy. Gifted with innate sword bones, he had heard that little Luoyi had lost her mother. With nothing but his sword, he flew down from Mingyou Mountain every night to tell stories to his little fiancée.

He wasn’t very eloquent, and his stories weren’t particularly interesting. But he would hold her in his arms, awkwardly comforting her until she fell asleep.

Back then, little Luoyi hadn’t appreciated his efforts. Mourning the loss of her mother, she often hid away to cry, trying to break free from the boy’s embrace to search for her parents.

Not long after, Shi Luoyi went missing. Everyone knew that Daojun Shihuan was not in the palace at the time, having left to try to save his beloved wife. Many demons and monsters coveted the flesh and blood of Shi Luoyi, causing widespread panic throughout the Nanyue Palace.

Torches lit up across the palace grounds as they searched everywhere she usually frequented, but there was no sign of her.

It was Wei Changyuan who found her.

The young cultivator, carrying an even younger child on his back, walked down the mountain step by step.

Even now, Huixiang could vaguely recall the shock she felt at the time.

Wei Changyuan was covered in mud and blood, his sword hanging at his waist. One of his hands had fractured bones, yet with the other, he securely held the child on his back, ensuring she wouldn’t be jostled. The girl on his back, her delicate face smeared with dirt, slept soundly.

That was the first time Wei Changyuan had killed a ferocious beast. His sword, Qinghong, had drawn blood for Shi Luoyi. He grew stronger because of her, sharper because of her.

Wei Changyuan carried Luoyi a great distance, bringing her home. Tears hung from her lashes, and her small arms clung tightly to his neck as if holding onto a lifeline.

Huixiang remembered that from that night on, the young master never had another nightmare.

At that time, Huixiang had thought they would be together forever.

Lost in her memories, Huixiang looked up and saw a tall figure standing in the courtyard. Thinking she might have been mistaken, she realized upon closer inspection that it truly was Wei Changyuan. The elegant youth, his long sword strapped to his back, walked past the plum tree and approached Shi Luoyi.

Huixiang was momentarily surprised but quickly bowed. “Young Master Wei.”

Wei Changyuan glanced at her and politely nodded in return. “Lady Huixiang.”

Huixiang noticed his cold, focused gaze fixed on Shi Luoyi. Though she was concerned, she understood she should leave them alone.

“Miss, Young Master, I shall take my leave.”

Wei Changyuan grabbed Shi Luoyi’s wrist, his voice tinged with anger. “Why did you pretend to be ill and deceive everyone?”

Wei Changyuan recalled the unease he had felt on his way here, which had turned into anger upon seeing her unharmed. Did she think it was amusing?

By the window, Shi Luoyi lifted her face.

Her complexion was pale, but her expression was calm. She had seen him enter the courtyard, but she hadn’t used any illusions to obscure the truth. She had never intended to deceive him.

Thus, with his late Nascent Soul cultivation level, it was easy for Wei Changyuan to see that her injuries had mostly healed.

But the Wei Changyuan in Shi Luoyi’s eyes was no longer the clear and distinct figure from Huixiang’s memories. Between them lay sixty years of time, countless regrets, and the love and hatred she had chased for half her life.

On the day she was reborn, she had suddenly seen Wei Changyuan in the snow and struggled to control her emotions. These days, though she had returned to the sect and her inner demon hadn’t reawakened, its influence was minimal, suppressed forcefully through her cultivation techniques.

Shi Luoyi had encountered many familiar faces since returning. Seeing Huixiang and Hanshu still alive, she realized that the love and hate between her and Wei Changyuan paled in comparison to the vastness of life and death.

Wei Changyuan, seeing her staring at him in silence, felt a wave of disappointment. His voice turned cold as he said, “You pretended to be ill just to mislead others about Junior Sister Qingxuan! Luoyi, haven’t you learned enough lessons over the years? Have you even thought about how you’ll face yourself afterward, or how your fellow disciples will see you?”

“To mislead Junior Sister Qingxuan?” Shi Luoyi suddenly felt a faint urge to laugh. She gazed into the young man’s eyes for a long while before replying, “Senior Brother Changyuan, it’s been a long time since I’ve called you that. Over the years, you’ve always been like this… accusing me because of her. I’ve almost forgotten what things were like between us at the beginning.”

Wei Changyuan had been brimming with cold anger, but now, as the girl sat by the window, looking at him with a distant chill, he couldn’t explain why his thoughts drifted back to the tassel that had fallen from his sword.

“I didn’t do it to frame Junior Sister Qingxuan,” Shi Luoyi said with a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t like her, but I’ve always had my pride. I worked hard in my cultivation not to surpass her, but because I didn’t want people to criticize Father for failing to raise me properly. When I took on sect missions alone, it wasn’t out of rashness or competitiveness—it was because no one liked me, and no one wanted to team up with me. As for fighting with Junior Sister Qingxuan, it was because she picked my flower—the one Mother planted all those years ago. If she hadn’t deliberately provoked me, I wouldn’t have given her a second glance.”

The red plum blossoms stood out against the snow, and the winter breeze blew through the window, carrying its icy chill and making the room feel even colder.

Shi Luoyi countered, “As for pretending to be ill, Senior Brother Changyuan, look at the position I’m in now. If I don’t protect myself, who will? Will you? Look, I’ve told you everything. Do you believe me, or do you believe Bian Qingxuan?”

When he remained silent for a long time, Shi Luoyi understood his answer. Their relationship had already ended when the spiritual jade of the Wei family changed hands. If not for her second demonic episode, they might never have crossed paths again. In her past life, she shouldn’t have expected Wei Changyuan to save her or help her overcome her inner demon. Hoping for his repentance was futile—she’d be better off seeking rare treasures to suppress her inner turmoil.

Wei Changyuan pressed his lips tightly together, instinctively feeling that Shi Luoyi was making excuses. Unbidden, the image of that morning at the mountain gate flashed in his mind: Bian Qingxuan, tears in her eyes, pleading with him to go check on Senior Sister Luoyi.

She had looked so pitiful, so deserving of care.

He also recalled the events of recent years. At first, he hadn’t been unwilling to protect her. But after Daojun Shihuan fell into slumber, Shi Luoyi began clashing with her fellow disciples, especially Junior Sister Qingxuan.

She carried an unyielding stubbornness, working tirelessly in her cultivation despite everyone’s warnings. She insisted on taking on sect missions alone, lashed out at Junior Sister Qingxuan when angry, and even resorted to physical violence. Yet Bian Qingxuan never retaliated, neither verbally nor physically. Shi Luoyi’s malevolence grew, and she refused to repent.

All these incidents forced him, as a disciple of Mingyou Mountain’s law enforcement hall, to act impartially at times. But Shi Luoyi would always storm away angrily, just as she had done days ago when she disregarded sect rules and ran down the mountain.

If what he saw with his own eyes was false, then what was real?

Yet a faint voice in his heart, along with the memory of the fallen sword tassel, kept him from speaking.

Seeing his continued silence, Shi Luoyi withdrew her wrist from his grasp and pointed toward the door. “Leave. With Father in slumber, there has never been a resolution between us. Once I retrieve the token from our past, we’ll dissolve our engagement.”

Wei Changyuan furrowed his brows.

He had been hesitating in his heart, but once again, she brought up dissolving their engagement. Over the years, whenever she was upset, Shi Luoyi would often use this threat against him.

Wei Changyuan said coldly, “It’s not that I don’t believe you, Luoyi. I know you’re hurting inside after Daojun’s slumber. Don’t say such things just to spite me.”

Spite?

Shi Luoyi thought to herself, No, it used to be spite—hoping you’d turn back, hoping I’d turn back. But this time, it’s real. I have no way back, and neither do you.

She looked at Wei Changyuan, the person she had deeply loved in her youth. Shi Luoyi felt a fleeting sense of disorientation. The thing she had chased after for so long—now that she had truly let it go, her heart felt strangely empty.*

The Buddha taught detachment: letting go of attachments.

She had spent her entire life chasing this person, only to gain sudden clarity in the moment of near-death in that broken temple.

The one thing she was grateful for was the qiankun pouch Wei Changyuan had left behind. Over the long years, it had gradually softened the hatred in her heart, allowing her to slowly remember the good in him.

Wei Changyuan wasn’t a bad person. He had helped her endure the hardships of childhood, and even now, with his still-young shoulders, he continued to protect the reputation of Buye Mountain.

Between them, there was simply a lack of trust. Even if they could no longer be together, like how Wei Changyuan had once defied the sect to let her go—because he didn’t want her to die—Shi Luoyi had never wished harm upon him either.

Though love was gone, their bond remained. They were still family.

She recalled how, after falling into demonic ways, Wei Changyuan hadn’t ended up with Bian Qingxuan. Was it because of her that he couldn’t move on? And before her death, she had heard that Wei Changyuan had suffered severe injuries and lost all his cultivation while protecting Junior Sister Qingxuan…

Senior Brother Changyuan, she thought, if you truly love her that much, then this time, I’ll let you have her.

And for the kindness he had shown her in childhood, she would repay him fully in due time, severing this debt of gratitude piece by piece.

________________________________________

Huixiang didn’t know what had transpired between Shi Luoyi and Wei Changyuan that day, but seeing that Shi Luoyi showed no signs of distress and continued her diligent cultivation, she felt relieved. It seemed the misunderstanding between Miss and the Young Master had been resolved.

Not two days later, Shi Luoyi announced that she would attend the morning lesson.

Huixiang worried, “Are you sure you should go now? What if the sect leader thinks of another scheme to deal with you? And who knows what Bian Qingxuan has done—these past few days, everyone in the sect has been saying that you intentionally pretended to be ill. She clearly wants to ruin your reputation.”

Shi Luoyi explained, “It’s easy for disciples to believe rumors, but the elders won’t. I avoided the morning lesson initially not to gain sympathy from my peers but to draw the attention of the elders, like Elder Hanshu.”

She continued, “Father and the sect leader founded Hengwu Sect together, and most of the elders share deep ties with him. As long as they realize I’m not some selfish, malicious waste of space, and see how difficult my situation is, they’ll pay more attention to me. That way, the sect leader won’t dare act recklessly.”

“As for how my fellow disciples see me…” Shi Luoyi lifted her face, a hint of youthful arrogance in her voice, “Who cares!”

She had spent a lifetime struggling and seething over people who disliked her, but it shouldn’t have been that way.

Huixiang smiled. “If Daojun were here, he’d surely be proud of how you’ve changed, Miss.”

Shi Luoyi replied, “I used to be unable to see clearly, but now I’ve come to understand.”

Not only had she come to understand, but she was also determined to restore the honor of Buye Mountain.

That Foundation Establishment peak disciple—what was his name again? Zhang Xiangyang, right? She’d start with him.

Back then, he had managed to severely injure her despite only being at the Foundation Establishment stage, leaving her baffled and questioning herself. Everyone had dismissed Buye Mountain as nothing special, and the elders had been deeply disappointed in her.

This time, she’d find out what was strange about Zhang Xiangyang. Would she end up humiliated and defeated again, or would he be the one shedding tears?