MY - 23

That year, during the summer vacation of senior high, Lu Nandu’s mother passed away.

Suicide by jumping. She ended her ephemeral life from a fifth-floor window ledge.

It happened right in front of Lu Nandu.

He couldn’t grasp anything, only heard a dull thud, a puddle of red blood. And the last words the woman spoke before she died.

Chu Xingru was Lu Nandu’s childhood nightmare. Growing up, he thought he was strong enough to escape her, but he never did. In Lu Nandu’s seventeenth year, his childhood nightmare vanished right before his eyes, leaving behind a new one.

That day, Jiang Xi couldn’t reach Lu Nandu.

Later, in the middle of the night, she received a call from Lu Nandu. His voice was hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time. Lu Nandu’s emotions were very calm; he told her that woman had passed away.

Jiang Xi offered to go find him, but Lu Nandu said it wasn’t necessary.

Then, after a moment of silence, he said he was going to live in Beijing.

Jiang Xi asked him, “Do you want to come and stay with me?” Lu Nandu said he really wanted to.

At that time, Jiang Xi didn’t understand the meaning of his words, only realizing it much later.

________________________________________

Upon arriving in Beijing, Lu Nandu didn’t stay at Jiang Xi’s place. He rented his own apartment and persistently persuaded Jiang Xi to stay with him.

Jiang Xi naturally couldn’t refuse him, so she packed her luggage and temporarily moved into his place.

As soon as she arrived at his home, Lu Nandu took out her belongings one by one from her suitcase and placed them around the house.

Jiang Xi sat on the sofa, drinking water, watching him busy himself: “If you just put things anywhere, it’ll be hard to find them.”

Lu Nandu ignored her, persistently taking out her things and placing them all over the house; he simply wanted a trace of Jiang Xi everywhere.

After tidying up, Lu Nandu sat beside her, hugging her: “I’ve memorized where all your things are, so is it okay to leave them like this?”

Jiang Xi squeezed his face: “You’ve already put everything away and then you ask me? Aren’t you shameless?”

“Then, if I’m shameless in the future, will you still talk to me?”

Jiang Xi didn’t understand what he meant by that question. Lu Nandu was a bit strange today, perhaps because his mother had just passed away not long ago.

She didn’t ask further, only saying, “Why not?”

Lu Nandu hugged her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. Hearing her words, he pushed his luck: “And you have to keep liking me.”

“You’re like a child,” Jiang Xi told him.

But even as she said that, she still smiled and agreed: “I will.”

“Forever?”

“Forever” was too difficult to promise, so Jiang Xi just humored him like a child.

“Always.”

Lu Nandu was happy when Jiang Xi humored him. He turned his head and kissed her cheek.

Later, only Lu Nandu remembered these words. Many years later, with everything in ruins, only he remained in place.

Jiang Xi was gone, leaving him alone.

________________________________________

One day, Lu Endi asked Lu Nandu to meet.

He held the paternity test results for Lu Nandu and Lu Kaidong.

In the alley next to the bar, Lu Nandu leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets, glancing at the papers in his hand.

Then he chuckled, “Now you believe it, right?”

The paper in Lu Endi’s hand was slightly wrinkled.

In Lu Endi’s heart, Lu Kaidong had always been a good father figure—cultured, reasonable, gentle, and treating both his mother and him very well.

All these impressions ceased with the revelation of Lu Nandu’s identity.

After Lu Nandu proposed his condition last time, Lu Endi secretly had a paternity test done. Lu Nandu was Lu Kaidong’s son.

Lu Endi wore clean clothes. He remained silent for a long time, then looked up and met Lu Nandu’s gaze.

“I agree.”

Lu Nandu was still leaning against the wall, not surprised by his words, merely looking at him calmly.

The light in the alley was too dim; Lu Endi couldn’t see the excessive indifference on Lu Nandu’s face, which showed no emotion.

He said, “As long as you don’t break up with her, I promise to let you return to the Lu family.”

All of this, from beginning to end, was merely a play orchestrated by Lu Nandu. Getting close to Jiang Xi, being with Jiang Xi, and finally exploiting Lu Endi’s weakness and favored position within the family.

All for the sole purpose of entering the Lu family.

Everyone fell into his trap; everything was just as he had anticipated.

As early as three years ago, he had discerned Lu Endi’s character and secretly seized his weakness.

Lu Endi was extremely favored at home; whatever request he made, the Lu family would agree to it.

And Lu Endi had a flaw in his character: Jiang Xi was his best friend.

Lu Nandu gambled that he would agree to his demands, and Lu Endi indeed did.

He remained silent for a long time, but Lu Endi suddenly spoke, “If you wanted to return to the Lu family, you could have made the request years ago. Why wait until today?”

Why drag it out for so long?

Lu Nandu didn’t know what he was thinking. He lowered his gaze to the overgrown ground and after a moment, chuckled, “Who knows?”

Lu Endi left.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Lu Nandu didn’t move for a long time.

The ringtone rang once, then again. He finally made a move, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It was Jiang Xi.

It was already past midnight. He had coaxed Jiang Xi to sleep before he left, so she probably woke up and didn’t see him.

“Where did you go?”

Lu Nandu was silent for a long time until Jiang Xi called out to him again from the other end.

His voice was slightly hoarse: “Jiejie.”

Through the phone, Jiang Xi couldn’t hear the unusualness in his voice. She told him to come back and sleep early if he had nothing to do.

Being cared for by her felt good, and Lu Nandu’s mood improved considerably. He said he would be back immediately and told her to wait for him.

Fearing Jiang Xi might be hungry, Lu Nandu bought some late-night snacks on his way back.

________________________________________

Lu Endi didn’t go to Lu Kaidong, nor did he go to Liang Sirong.

He went directly to Old Master Lu.

Although Lu Jinghong no longer involved himself in power struggles, he was still the most influential person in the family.

Lu Endi informed Lu Jinghong that Lu Kaidong had another son.

Lu Kaidong’s actions had always been meticulous and without oversight, so the matter of an illegitimate son naturally wouldn’t have reached anyone’s ears, and Lu Jinghong was also unaware.

However, after listening to Lu Endi, he wasn’t too surprised, only asking Lu Endi to leave Lu Nandu’s contact information.

That day, Lu Nandu was lounging at home, watching Jiang Xi paint, when Old Master Lu called him out for a meeting.

This was the first time Lu Nandu met Old Master Lu.

The man had a benevolent appearance, with white hair. He looked at his grandson in front of him, and his first words were: “You do look alike.”

“He’s not good at anything else, but he’s good at having sons,” Lu Jinghong’s words made it hard to discern his emotions. “Both sons are quite handsome.”

Lu Nandu remained silent.

At that time, Lu Nandu was only seventeen, and even with a cunning mind, he couldn’t compare to the experienced old man in front of him.

Old Master Lu was not in a hurry at all. He poured a cup of tea for him and pushed it across the table: “Young man, relax a bit.”

“There’s no need for such strong hostility,” Old Master Lu spoke frankly, “You’ll still have to call me Grandpa in the future.”

Lu Nandu leaned back in his chair, lacking the proper decorum of a family scion.

He said, “What exactly do you want to say?”

Old Master Lu chuckled and said, “Haven’t I already said it? Are you planning not to call me, this old man, Grandpa when you enter the Lu family?”

Lu Nandu didn’t speak.

Old Master Lu clasped his hands leisurely in front of him: “It must have been tough living outside all these years, with no home like a home, and no life like a life.”

His words were clear enough. Lu Nandu wasn’t surprised; the Lu family would certainly investigate his past thoroughly.

Those childhoods and lives, completely different from Lu Endi’s—one blessed, one impoverished.

Old Master Lu said, “Compared to your brother, your personality is more like your father’s.”

Full of schemes, ruthless.

Just a teenage boy, Lu Nandu became irritable hearing Lu Kaidong’s name: “No, he’s not.” He disliked Lu Kaidong.

Old Master Lu was amused and then said, “You should know why I’m here today.”

Lu Nandu was inexplicably impatient: “I don’t know.”

Old Master Lu raised an eyebrow: “It’s the Lu family you want to return to, why are you so resistant?”

Lu Nandu fell silent.

Old Master Lu no longer cared about his resistance and said, “Your mother just passed away recently, right?”

Hearing Chu Xingru’s name, Lu Nandu paused for a moment. When he realized a bad premonition, he looked up at the person opposite him.

The smile had disappeared from Old Master Lu’s face, yet he wasn’t stern; it was as if he was stating an ordinary fact: “Since she has passed away, you no longer have any family to contact.”

Old Master Lu looked into his eldest grandson’s eyes, not avoiding them: “You can return to the Lu family, but you must agree to my condition.”

________________________________________

At some point, Lu Nandu and Jiang Xi stopped spending as much time together as they used to.

Jiang Xi had recently taken on a lot of commissions, often working until the early hours of the morning.

And Lu Nandu didn’t come home early either, often returning home dead drunk.

When he woke up in the morning, Jiang Xi would already be asleep. At these times, Lu Nandu would watch Jiang Xi for a long time, just quietly observing her.

One morning, Jiang Xi wasn’t beside him when he woke up.

Lu Nandu checked the time; it was a little past seven in the morning.

There was movement in the kitchen; Jiang Xi was busy in there. She hadn’t eaten breakfast in a long time, so she got up to make breakfast when she had nothing else to do that morning.

She turned to grab something and was startled by Lu Nandu standing in the doorway.

He leaned against the doorframe, silently watching her.

Recently, their relationship had become a bit estranged. Jiang Xi asked, “You’re awake?” She didn’t look at him as she spoke, turning back to continue frying eggs.

Lu Nandu looked at her back. Normally, he would have gone up to embrace her from behind, but not today.

He desperately wanted to hug her.

Hearing no reply from the person behind her, Jiang Xi didn’t ask again.

After a long moment, Lu Nandu finally spoke, “I’m not eating. I have to go out, so you don’t need to make my portion.”

Jiang Xi was frying the second egg when her hand holding the spatula paused.

Soon after, the sound of a door closing echoed from the living room. The fried egg in the frying pan had already burned. Jiang Xi turned off the heat.

________________________________________

That day, Lu Endi happened to ask Jiang Xi out.

Jiang Xi was still her usual self, laughing and chatting, quiet when appropriate.

Lu Endi, being naturally sensitive, asked her, “Haven’t you been sleeping well lately?”

Jiang Xi knew she couldn’t hide it from Lu Endi and chuckled, “Is it that obvious?”

Lu Endi didn’t speak. After two or three years, the little boy had grown quite a bit taller.

He quietly drank his orange juice, then, after a moment, cautiously asked, “Are you and Lu Nandu having problems?”

Jiang Xi’s hand stirring her coffee didn’t stop, and she had no intention of hiding it. She chuckled, “Give me some face, Lu Endi.”

Lu Endi wasn’t amused by her at all. He looked at her for a few seconds, then lowered his head and continued drinking his beverage without saying anything.

...

That night, Lu Endi found Lu Nandu at the same bar as last time.

The streetlights stretched the tree shadows long; they were hidden in the darkness.

Lu Endi asked Lu Nandu, “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t break up with her?”

Lu Nandu didn’t speak.

Lu Endi was stubborn and repeated, “Didn’t we agree that if you returned to the Lu family, you wouldn’t break up with her?”

After a long silence, Lu Nandu glanced at Lu Endi, “Lu Endi, only you would believe that.”

Lu Endi looked at the boy in front of him in disbelief, as if he had changed overnight.

Many words were at the tip of his tongue, but not a single one came out.

Finally, Lu Endi was left with only one sentence: “She likes you.”

“So what?”

Lu Nandu’s voice was very calm: “I had a motive from the beginning.”

Lu Endi, usually soft-spoken, gritted his teeth and roared at him, “Lu Nandu!”

At this moment, a voice suddenly came: “Lu Endi.”

Lu Endi froze.

Lu Nandu also froze but didn’t turn around.

Lu Endi’s gaze passed over Lu Nandu’s shoulder, looking behind him.

Jiang Xi’s face wasn’t good, but it wasn’t terrible either.

She looked at Lu Nandu’s back. All that remained was the sound of wind rustling leaves and cicadas chirping.

“Since you’ve been dragging your feet about breaking up, then I’ll say it.”

Lu Nandu’s fingers, hanging at his side, trembled slightly.

“Lu Nandu,” Jiang Xi’s voice was calm, “Let’s break up.”

...

Jiang Xi and Lu Endi left.

The light was dim, and no one saw Lu Nandu’s reddened eyes.

Jiang Xi never thought there would be a day when she would break up with Lu Nandu.

Between them, she had always been the more rational one, but she never imagined that in this relationship, the most unrealistic one was her.

It was she who didn’t believe in “forever,” yet it was also she who believed in it.

The suitcase lay open on the floor. The cozy house from a month ago was now like stagnant water, devoid of life.

When Jiang Xi had moved in earlier, Lu Nandu had taken out and arranged her belongings, placing them haphazardly everywhere, one item in each spot.

Jiang Xi put the scattered items back into the suitcase one by one.

Before, he wanted her presence in every corner; now, after the breakup, it felt inexplicably ironic.

It turned out she had always been lost in a maze he designed, believing the end was home, but it was just a foggy intersection.

Jiang Xi threw the miscellaneous items back into her suitcase. She hadn’t rested since returning from the bar.

She also didn’t want to think about who sent the text message that led her to the bar.

On the bedroom bed, her pajamas, which she had taken off two hours before leaving, were still there.

Lu Nandu had also placed her plush toy by the bedside.

Only then, Jiang Xi, who had been working like a machine, seemed to lose power and stood isolated in the bedroom.

From start to finish, she hadn’t cried, even when she told Lu Nandu they were breaking up.

Yet, at this moment, a large tear dropped from her eye.

Jiang Xi could no longer hold it back. She slowly squatted down, buried her face in her arms, and allowed herself to cry.

The bedroom light was off, and the night poured in through the window.

Jiang Xi’s suppressed sobs were exceptionally clear in the room. Due to her family circumstances, Jiang Xi had always been someone who didn’t cry easily since childhood, yet at this moment, she was crying like a child.

The person she liked so much, the one she had once been afraid to approach for fear of losing herself, yet bravely dared to love.

The person who kept saying he loved her.

It turned out everything was fake.

He had never genuinely loved her.