Chapter 35: Once you have it, you don’t want it anymore.

“Yes, I quit. I’m done.”

The matter of resignation was something Cheng Wanyue had intended to tell Qing Hang in person, which was why she brought dinner to the hospital.

Qing Hang was busy with work, mostly working during the day with few night shifts—about once a week. When he had time, she was usually at work, so they rarely had opportunities to meet.

Before deciding to resign, Cheng Wanyue had considered this issue. Qing Hang’s job wasn’t going to change anytime soon, but she was free.

Of course, this wasn’t the main reason for her job change—it was just one factor among others and not entirely because of him.

When he dragged her out of the bar earlier, she didn’t resist merely to avoid embarrassing him in front of strangers—it didn’t mean she had calmed down after a few drinks.

For the second time, Cheng Wanyue shook off Qing Hang’s hand. “I’m going home. Do you have something to say?”

She staggered backward, nearly twisting her shoe heel, when someone passed by. Qing Hang pulled her close, gently massaging her wrist with his fingertips, frowning but softening his tone. “Wanyue, don’t go home yet.”

Even if he submitted his resignation letter tomorrow morning at eight, he couldn’t just leave immediately.

“She is my senior fellow apprentice. We have a collaborative research project. I didn’t give her the jade pendant; how could I give that thing to anyone else?”

It would’ve been better if he hadn’t mentioned it. Upon bringing up Li Yu, Cheng Wanyue’s temper flared. “Have you been with her all week?”

Qing Hang explained quietly, “It’s only work.”

“Go find her, don’t bother me,” Cheng Wanyue pushed him hard.

She tried to walk back into the bar. Each time Qing Hang stopped her, she pushed him away again. Hearing her call Yan Ci’s name, his suppressed emotions began to show.

There had never been a lack of men around her—this was true in the past, and it was still true now.

Qing Hang knew that jealousy was an ugly emotion, but in front of her, he was just an ordinary person whose feelings were magnified—he could be jealous, and he could feel envious.

“Cheng Wanyue, who was that person outside the restroom just now?”

Her attitude was dismissive. “I don’t know.”

An ordinary friend wouldn’t help her put on her shoes, especially not while kneeling halfway on the floor.

“I can explain my relationship with Li Yu openly. Can’t you do the same?”

“I already said I don’t know. What more do you want to ask?” Cheng Wanyue truly didn’t remember Chi Yue’s name; they hadn’t exchanged contact information.

The anxious urgency and carefulness in Qing Hang’s eyes gradually faded. His tightly clenched fist was so forceful that blood seeped from the unhealed abrasion on the back of his hand. Sweat dripped into the wound, spreading a burning pain.

The light illuminated his face, and a faint self-deprecating smile lingered at the corner of his lips. “Every time I displease you, can you just turn around and find someone else?”

Cheng Wanyue sneered. “Don’t think I like you so much that I’d shamelessly cling to you. I’m not that obsessed with you.”

“Did I ever get a chance to explain?”

“She explained for you. What you said isn’t as clear as what she said.”

“If everything’s been explained, why are you so angry?”

“Yeah,” Cheng Wanyue murmured, lowering her head. “Qing Hang, why am I angry with you?”

She didn’t know how Qing Hang talked about their past with Li Yu. She had never spoken of it to a third person.

Even unrelated people were standing up for him. It seemed he remembered only her shortcomings.

But when had she ever looked down on him or belittled him?

“What else could it be?” Her emotions suddenly collapsed. “Because I’m overbearing, unreasonable, and make trouble for no reason. Because I just get angry and like to torment you, alright!”

Qing Hang closed his eyes briefly. His clothes were soaked with sweat, and his voice sounded extremely weary. “Cheng Wanyue, talk properly.”

“This is just who I am—no cultivation, no education, no grace. If you can’t stand it, then don’t stand in front of me. Just leave and stop blocking my way.”

“A bar is a chaotic place. You’re already drunk; I won’t let you go inside.”

“I love places like this. Stop meddling in my affairs.”

Cheng Wanyue didn’t even glance at Qing Hang and strode back into the bar.

Yan Ci stood by the elevator, contacting a friend who was a taxi driver. Cheng Wanyue had already started crying as soon as she walked in, hiding behind him before he could say anything.

She wasn’t feeling wronged; she just felt embarrassed and didn’t want outsiders to see her.

Yan Ci glanced outward. “Has Qing Hang left?”

Cheng Wanyue covered her face with both hands, her voice choking. “Let him do as he pleases.”

“I understand that I can’t console you, but how did he end up making you this upset? You spent over half an hour putting on makeup before leaving, and now it’s ruined. What a waste,” Yan Ci dressed simply and didn’t carry tissues, and neither did her bag. “Use my shirt to wipe your tears for now.”

Cheng Wanyue didn’t hesitate and directly lifted his T-shirt to wipe her tears.

Yan Ci clicked his tongue twice, pretending to be disgusted. “Don’t wipe your nose on it.”

Her hands were sticky, possibly from soap suds that hadn’t been rinsed off. After wiping her tears, she casually wiped her hands on Yan Ci’s waist.

Right at this moment, Qing Hang walked in.

What he saw was Cheng Wanyue crying while hugging Yan Ci.

Though Yan Ci was two years older than her, he was always different from Cheng Yanqing and Cheng Yuzhou.

“Cheng Wanyue,” Qing Hang’s gaze fell on her hand resting on Yan Ci’s waist.

Both of them looked over simultaneously. Qing Hang also noticed the redness in her tear-filled eyes. “Do you still want to reconcile? If you do, let go of your hand. If not, pretend I was never here.”

Yan Ci immediately realized Qing Hang had misunderstood. “It’s not...”

“Yan Ci is like my sister, my brother,” Cheng Wanyue interrupted Yan Ci’s words. “We’ve known each other since we were kids and grew up together. Hugging him is just like hugging Ayu. Don’t say it’s just a hug with Yan Ci—I could even date him if I wanted to. At least he’s someone I genuinely liked in the past. How dare you look at me with such a disappointed gaze?”

Qing Hang chuckled softly. “You still remember that Yan Ci was someone you genuinely liked in the past, so does he really hold the same place in your heart as Zhou Yu?”

...

In their first year of high school, the first love letter Qing Hang received at school wasn’t actually meant for him.

Cheng Wanyue was two years younger than Yan Ci. When she just entered her first year of high school, Yan Ci was already in the graduating class of senior three. By the time the college entrance exams ended in June and he went to university, their chances of meeting would only grow fewer.

She couldn’t remember when she started liking Yan Ci. In her memory, it was Yan Ci who liked her first.

No, more accurately, she thought Yan Ci liked her.

During the summer vacation before their final year of junior high, Cheng Wanyue wanted to learn how to swim, and Yan Ci took her along when he went to the swimming pool. The pool was small and didn’t have separate areas for men and women. Before Cheng Wanyue even got into the water, she noticed a tattoo on Yan Ci’s waist.

A single letter: Y.

Apart from Qing Hang, the names of their group all contained the letter Y. But the moment Cheng Wanyue saw the tattoo, she didn’t think of anyone else. From the moment she mistakenly believed that Yan Ci had her name tattooed on his body, her feelings towards him changed.

That summer, she almost wanted to see Yan Ci every day, which made her dislike Qing Hang’s tutoring sessions.

She had even discussed with Cheng Guo’an whether Yan Ci could replace Qing Hang. Yan Ci also had excellent academic performance, but Cheng Guo’an said that having Qing Hang tutor her would ease the financial burden on Grandpa Qing, and besides, Yan Ci, being in his final year of high school, had immense academic pressure and barely enough time to sleep, let alone teach her.

The weather in April wasn’t particularly warm yet. On weekends, when the senior three students had half a day off, Yan Ci would play basketball on the court before going home, leaving his jacket casually on a nearby stand, under which were his exercise books and study materials.

Cheng Wanyue originally planned to wait until after his exams, but she couldn’t wait any longer—two months felt like an eternity.

Taking advantage of watching them play basketball, she secretly slipped the love letter she had written into one of the exercise books. When Cheng Yanqing called her to buy some drinks from the store, she pretended not to hear and lightly patted Yan Ci’s jacket before running off.

What she didn’t know was that those exercise books and materials belonged to Qing Hang.

Only Qing Hang and Cheng Yanqing saw the love letter; Yan Ci himself was unaware.

The pink stationery fell out from the exercise book, landing by Qing Hang’s feet.

Cheng Yanqing picked it up casually and finished reading it in two glances, laughing so hard he started coughing. “Yan Ci likes Zhou Yu. Cheng Wanyue wouldn’t compete with Zhou Yu for him. She must have lost a game or been dared by her troublemaking friends to confess to someone, or maybe it was a dare. Let’s just pretend we never saw it.”

Cheng Yanqing left with the items, not taking the love letter seriously at all.

It was just a piece of stationery, but in Qing Hang’s hands, it felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.

The content was simple—it was about meeting Yan Ci in the alley outside Cheng family’s courtyard. She said that if Yan Ci didn’t come, she would wait until dawn.

Around seven o’clock, it started raining outside, and the sky grew dark as the rain gradually intensified.

Whenever it rained, the house became very damp. Unfortunately, Baicheng’s rainy season was especially long. This was an old house from many years ago, and the landlord hadn’t sold it because they were waiting for demolition.

Grandpa had rheumatism, and his legs and feet ached terribly on rainy days. Qing Hang boiled hot water to soak and massage his feet.

With only two people in the house, it felt too quiet. Grandpa reminisced about the past, occasionally cracking jokes.

Qing Hang’s mind wandered, constantly thinking about whether Cheng Wanyue had brought an umbrella today.

After Grandpa went to bed, Qing Hang hesitated repeatedly but finally took an umbrella and went out.

There were few people on the streets during the rain, and the alley was deserted. Qing Hang stood under the streetlamp, his shadow faintly cast on the stone path.

Cheng Wanyue had already gone home; she wouldn’t really wait until dawn.

...

Cheng Wanyue held back her tears, but Qing Hang’s earlier gaze made her feel miserable. “If I say they are the same, then they are the same. What relationship do we have? Why should you care?”

Yan Ci couldn’t stop her. She was drunk and upset, ready to say anything.

If it were someone else, such provocation might have led to an immediate confession on the spot. But this was Qing Hang, and their complicated past was something even Yan Ci, who had known them for many years, couldn’t explain clearly.

One was stubborn, and the other was even more so.

“Indeed, what kind of relationship do we have?” Qing Hang asked Cheng Wanyue, but he was also asking himself.

Before he turned to leave, the jealousy that had been gnawing at him had already calmed down. To continue would only embarrass himself further.

“Cheng Wanyue, you’re still the same as before, not a bit changed.”

Once obtained, it is no longer desired.