MY - 28

He had his back to her.

Jiang Xi stood behind him, resolved to tear open the underlying currents, leaving neither of them an escape.

“Turn around.”

Lu Nandu had always been unable to refuse Jiang Xi. After a few seconds of silence, he still obediently turned around. Even if he had an instinct for self-preservation, with just one word from Jiang Xi, he would willingly throw himself into the fire.

He didn’t look at Jiang Xi.

Jiang Xi, for once, was remarkably calm with him: “Look at me.”

Lu Nandu clearly didn’t want to look at her, but upon hearing those words, he still obediently raised his eyes.

Jiang Xi looked directly at him, decisive and sharp, giving the person in front of her no time to react.

“Lu Nandu, you were the one who was indifferent to me back then. Since this is what you did, you have to bear the consequences yourself.”

Lu Nandu parted his lips but didn’t know how to explain.

He heard Jiang Xi continue, emotionlessly: “This was your choice. You got what you wanted, so naturally, you’ll lose something else. There’s no need to come back looking for it.”

“I don’t care if you later felt regret, or if your possessiveness acted up after seeing me get close to others. I don’t care about any of that anymore, it’s not important. Since you didn’t want me from the start, then don’t come back looking for me.”

Lu Nandu, unable to help himself, felt his nose sting.

“I didn’t!”

He had always loved her; he was the one who least wanted to break up. He didn’t come back to her out of possessiveness; that wasn’t it.

“Didn’t what?” For a moment, Jiang Xi wanted to talk to Lu Nandu properly. Before, she didn’t want to listen, and Lu Nandu didn’t want to speak. Now, she no longer wanted them to be entangled.

He had so many words in his heart he wanted to say, yet not a single one could escape. Those nightmares, if even a fleeting thought of them emerged, would crush him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say it, it was that he simply couldn’t.

Tearing open those unspeakable pasts, neither of them felt good. Lu Nandu was like this, and so was Jiang Xi.

She saw Lu Nandu was silent and didn’t press him. She shifted her gaze down, focusing on Lu Nandu’s wrist, which she was still holding.

“Since you were the one who didn’t want me first, don’t come looking for me.”

Jiang Xi had already said these words twice, but just twice was enough for Lu Nandu. His heart crumpled into a ball.

He was afraid he couldn’t hold onto Jiang Xi, afraid she would truly ignore him.

Lu Nandu took a step forward, suddenly embracing Jiang Xi tightly: “No, Jiejie, please don’t.”

Why is he crying so easily? Jiang Xi thought.

But even thinking that, her heart still ached when she heard Lu Nandu’s subtle sob.

“You can ignore me, but please don’t stop me from coming to find you, okay?” Lu Nandu’s words were driven by instinct.

Jiang Xi was silent. A few seconds later, she spoke: “We’ll both have our own lives in the future. You won’t die without me.”

“See, so many years have passed, and we’re both still living well.”

Lu Nandu’s forehead rested on Jiang Xi’s shoulder, shaking his head hard: “That’s not it.”

From childhood to adulthood, she was his only ray of light. Even during the eight years they weren’t together, he relied on her to get through.

Jiang Xi’s heart finally softened, giving him a response for the first time. She slowly raised her hand and wrapped it around Lu Nandu’s shoulders.

Just like before, after eight years, Jiang Xi once again stroked the back of Lu Nandu’s head, “It’s not hard. As long as you don’t see me again, it won’t be that hard.”

It’s that a broken mirror is too hard to mend. Even if it’s mended, the cracks remain.

Jiang Xi’s recent state made her realize a sense of crisis, but she never had any intention of reconciling. There was no need for either party to drag this out. She wouldn’t waste Lu Nandu’s time, and she couldn’t afford to waste her own either.

Neither of them were the same young people they once were.

“Be good,” Jiang Xi comforted him.

“Jiejie,” Lu Nandu held her tightly, “Don’t.”

Jiang Xi ignored what he said: “Many years ago, right after we broke up, I said I wouldn’t look at you again, but I did.”

Lu Nandu seemed to have a premonition of what she was about to say. His arms tightened around her.

“This is the last time,” Jiang Xi said calmly. “After this, I really won’t look at you again.”

Lu Nandu suddenly stood up.

Jiang Xi’s vision momentarily darkened. The next second, Lu Nandu bent down and kissed her fiercely.

Jiang Xi froze. After realizing what was happening, she tried to push him away. But Lu Nandu’s brute strength took over. He seized her wrists and turned, pressing her against the balcony railing.

Jiang Xi was unable to move, completely unable to struggle free.

Lu Nandu didn’t wait a moment, directly prying open her teeth, pursuing her.

Jiang Xi saw his slightly red eyes, and her struggles gradually weakened.

Forget it.

Just this once, let him be so unrestrained one last time, let him be so willful one last time.

She slowly closed her eyes.

________________________________________

The next day, Jiang Xi woke up in her own bed.

Opening her phone, she saw that the online buzz had changed. The group Lu Nandu belonged to had personally issued a public announcement clarifying the rumors.

The photos were indeed real; the current head of the Huahong Group had indeed pursued Ms. Jiang previously, but Ms. Jiang did not agree, and the two were not in a romantic relationship.

The notification bar also showed a very brief message Tong Yun sent her late last night.

He doesn’t want to ruin you.

Perhaps this was just another ordinary statement to the public, but to Jiang Xi, it was exceptionally important.

She turned off her phone.

At noon, Xia Xinyan called her. She had probably seen the news and was hesitantly trying to ask her something.

Jiang Xi didn’t want to talk about these things and said, “I’ll be going back in a few days.”

Usually, Jiang Xi would only return home for a short stay of a few days every two or three months. This time, however, it hadn’t even been a month, and Xia Xinyan’s tone was clearly happy: “In a few days?”

She also asked, “Is there something going on at home?”

“No,” Jiang Xi said, “I just don’t have much work lately, so I’ll stay for a few more days.”

Xia Xinyan was naturally happy for her child to come home: “That’s good. Remember to let Auntie know which day you’re returning. Your uncle and I will pick you up at the airport.”

“I can just take a car back, no need for such trouble.”

“This is no trouble at all.”

Jiang Xi needed to get up and wash: “Alright, I’ll go now. I still need to go to the company later.”

Before hanging up, Xia Xinyan didn’t forget to remind her: “Remember to eat more, don’t forget to eat when you’re busy.”

“I won’t.”

________________________________________

Jiang Xi got up, washed, and then went to the company.

Upon arriving at the company, Tong Yun didn’t say much to her, only telling her: “The magazine inner page photoshoot has been moved to tomorrow. Get ready this afternoon and go over there.”

Jiang Xi sat down on the sofa in Tong Yun’s office: “Why was it moved up?”

“The photographer’s schedule had a sudden conflict. Your time is easier to coordinate, so moving it up won’t have any impact.”

Jiang Xi nodded.

After giving a few more instructions, Tong Yun let her go.

That night, Jiang Xi flew to another city, making sure to coordinate her time with the photographer before going to bed.

The photographer initially thought Jiang Xi had little experience with magazine shoots and might have a slightly weaker performance, but unexpectedly, the photoshoot the next day went exceptionally smoothly. The person in front of the camera displayed remarkably outstanding and peerless expressiveness.

The shooting time wasn’t very long, and afterward, the photographer complimented Jiang Xi a few times. It was clear that this was a rather pleasant collaboration, and the photographer kept Jiang Xi’s phone number.

The photographer was busy with work and quickly moved to another location.

Jiang Xi picked up her luggage from the hotel and went to the airport. This time, she still didn’t inform Mr. and Mrs. Xia. After getting off the plane, she hailed a taxi home herself.

________________________________________

When she got home, Xia Xinyan hadn’t expected her to return so soon and was naturally surprised to see her.

What surprised Jiang Xi was that Chen Huan was also sitting at the dining table.

She glanced at the time, a little past seven, usually by this time Chen Huan would already be at the bar.

Xia Xinyan quickly added a set of chopsticks and a bowl for her, pulling her to sit at the dining table: “Just as Chen Huan and I sat down, the food’s still hot, hurry and eat.”

Jiang Xi said, “Got it, you shouldn’t starve yourself either.”

Chen Huan sat across from her and asked, “Are you unemployed lately?”

Jiang Xi chuckled: “More or less.”

Chen Huan chewed on her chopsticks: “Looks like you have tough times in the entertainment industry too. Why not come home and do your old job?”

Jiang Xi looked up at her: “You know what my old job was?”

Chen Huan looked at her, then blinked two seconds later: “No, I don’t, just saying.”

Xia Xinyan interrupted their conversation: “Alright, alright, don’t just talk. Eat first, then talk later.”

After dinner, Chen Huan didn’t leave and sat on the sofa. Jiang Xi brought a bowl of grapes from the kitchen and asked her, “Why are you so well-behaved tonight?”

Chen Huan sat sprawled on the sofa, lazily pressing the TV remote. Hearing this, she looked at Jiang Xi and joked, “Waiting for you to come back.”

Jiang Xi sat on the single sofa nearby, glancing at her: “I’m truly honored.”

Xia Xinyan happened to come out of the kitchen, checked the time, and urged Chen Huan: “Chen Huan, hurry up and get ready for class.”

Chen Huan was still lazily sitting on the sofa: “It’s fine, no rush, still half an hour.”

“It takes time to get there. Hurry up and get ready, don’t be late.”

Compared to her own mother, Chen Huan listened more to Xia Xinyan. She tossed the remote control: “Got it.”

Jiang Xi didn’t ask anything, peeled a grape, and ate it.

Chen Huan was still a child after all. She looked at Jiang Xi, her eyes shining: “Do you know what class I’m taking?”

Jiang Xi chuckled: “Guitar.”

Chen Huan hadn’t expected her to guess correctly: “How did you know?”

Expressions don’t betray people. Even as rebellious as Chen Huan was, she was still a teenage girl, and her eyes sparkled when talking about things she loved.

Jiang Xi didn’t tell her this point; kids this age are too good at playing it cool. If she told her this time, Chen Huan might hide it next time.

She said, “Hurry up and go to class.”

Chen Huan stood up, picked a grape from Jiang Xi’s bowl, and ate it: “Why are you just like my aunt?” she said, then ambled towards the door to put on her shoes.

Although Chen Huan’s mother had a gentle demeanor, she was strong-willed internally and never approved of Chen Huan learning guitar. When Chen Huan was little, she once broke an arm because she secretly went to learn guitar. Like mother, like daughter, Chen Huan never compromised either, and their mother-daughter relationship became increasingly strained.

Now, Chen Huan was entrusted to Xia Xinyan. Xia Xinyan had always been lenient with children, and she would foster their interests according to their wishes. She had always been aware of her niece’s situation, so this time she contacted her long-time friend to give Chen Huan lessons.

Chen Huan was also happy to learn. Xia Xinyan’s friend was a particularly renowned guitar teacher.

Jiang Xi was eating grapes, not noticing Chen Huan wandering back again.

Chen Huan leaned over the back of the sofa behind her: “Hey, is our homeroom teacher interested in you?”

Jiang Xi turned her head and glanced at her: “Why do you say that?”

Chen Huan’s eyes were deep: “Today he asked me if you’d come back recently.”

Jiang Xi: “How did you answer?”

Chen Huan grinned: “I told him I’m not familiar with her.”

Jiang Xi was amused by her: “Alright, go to class.”

________________________________________

That night, Jiang Xi didn’t stay in the living room and went home early.

Since Jiang Chi left for university, whenever Jiang Xi came back, the building often had only her, empty and dark.

She went to the utility room.

Jiang Xi tried the light switch several times, but it didn’t light up; the bulb was broken. She turned to the living room, found a flashlight, and returned to the utility room.

The utility room hadn’t been cleaned for a long time; dust covered the floor and tables, floating in the beam of light.

Jiang Xi paused in front of a pile of cardboard boxes. Yellowed and faded, they were stacked one after another, and the air carried a damp, decaying scent.

These were all things from when Jiang Xi used to study painting, as well as various old drafts. Originally, these should have been thrown away by Jiang Xi long ago, but Mr. and Mrs. Xia couldn’t bear to part with them and had helped her clean and store them here.

Jiang Xi hadn’t looked at them since.

But she knew what was inside.

Jiang Xi didn’t move for a while, then finally raised her hand to try and lift one box down. However, the box was too heavy to carry with one hand.

She casually bit the flashlight, then lifted the box down.

The boxes were all sealed with tape. Jiang Xi placed the flashlight on a nearby table, squatted down, paused for a few seconds, then reached out and tore open the tape.

The box didn’t contain what she was looking for.

Jiang Xi stood up, took down another cardboard box, tore open the tape, still not it.

Until she took down the fourth one. After tearing open the tape, she paused.

Inside the box were yellowed drawings, sketches, printed images, all depicting a boy, with a few sparse photographs mixed in.

The boy, in an untidy school uniform, held a game controller, nestled on the sofa, his posture lazy.

High brow bones, a straight nose, eyes like a hawk, staring at the TV screen.

Jiang Xi stared at this photo for a long time.

Coming back to her senses, she removed the photo. Beneath it were drawings of various sizes.

He frowned impatiently while solving problems, always smiling lazily at her, his eyelashes obediently resting while sleeping...

All of these were preserved by Jiang Xi’s pen.

If the current Jiang Xi were to meet the Lu Nandu of that time, she might not fall in love. But back then, it was like being bewitched; she could only see him.

After so many years, Jiang Xi still hadn’t thrown away these things. She had come back this time intending to clear them out.

She didn’t flip any further, putting the photos she had just taken out back inside.

Inside the room, there was only a pale white beam of light from the flashlight. She sealed the box again with tape, then stood up and carried it out of the utility room.

Jiang Xi opened the door and went out. This city was often rainy, and a fine drizzle had already begun outside.

Raindrops hit the water surface, creating splashes.

Jiang Xi watched silently for a few seconds but didn’t go back inside. She placed the box against the wall, not minding the raindrops splashing onto its surface.

She didn’t look at the box again, turned around, closed the door, and went back inside.

________________________________________

Continuous overcast and rainy weather for several days.

Day after day, nothing changed. Lu Nandu seemed to have vanished from her life as he wished.

Everything was peaceful. He was very obedient.

On the last day before preparing to return to Beijing, Chen Lin called her.

He didn’t say anything else, directly inviting her: “Let’s go have dinner.”

Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment: “I’ll be back in Beijing soon, next time.”

Chen Lin seemed to see through her intention and chuckled: “Just this once. You don’t have to worry, it’s not a pursuit. It’s just a simple invitation for an old friend to have a meal.”

Nothing could be hidden from someone like Chen Lin.

Jiang Xi simply stopped declining and asked for the address.

She had an afternoon flight, and at noon, Jiang Xi arrived punctually for Chen Lin’s dinner invitation.

When she arrived at the private room, Chen Lin was already there. Jiang Xi sat across from him.

Chen Lin handed her the menu: “See what you’d like to eat.”

Even though Chen Lin and Jiang Xi had dated for a short period, he didn’t really know Jiang Xi’s preferences. They weren’t close during their relationship, let alone during his pursuit of her.

Once, Chen Lin happened to run into Jiang Xi when she was in a bad mood.

That time, her mentor organized a dinner. Chen Lin had a friend who shared the same mentor as Jiang Xi, and thanks to his friend, he managed to join the meal.

Midway, Chen Lin went to the restroom and happened to encounter Jiang Xi coming out of the restroom, her eyes slightly red.

It was early July then. At the time, Chen Lin didn’t understand why Jiang Xi was in a bad mood. Later, he vaguely learned that it seemed to be related to her ex.

Early July, after the college entrance exam, was when Lu Nandu and Jiang Xi got together.

That day, Jiang Xi drank too much and was emotionally unstable. Chen Lin had been acquainted with her for a long time during that period. Passing by, he didn’t let her leave and asked her what was wrong.

Jiang Xi said she was fine and was about to leave.

Chen Lin didn’t let her go. He was always smart and good at utilizing human nature. A heartbroken, helpless girl is most likely to instinctively seek a straw to cling to, latching onto another “floating wood” to escape the sinking ground and embark on the next journey, finding new love to forget the old.

Chen Lin, with an experimental mindset, exploited this point, even though Jiang Xi had rejected him multiple times.

He told her not to rush to reject him, perhaps he could help her. He asked her to try him for half a month, and if it didn’t work out, then she could reject him again.

That day, Jiang Xi had already had some wine, her mind a bit unclear, and that tiny, almost imperceptible cry for help in her heart took over. All of this happened to be within Chen Lin’s expectations.

However, that relationship ended after only a week of dating, less than half a month.

________________________________________

So many years had passed, and everything had long since been resolved. Chen Lin asked her, “Did you feel nothing at all for me back then?”

Jiang Xi was drinking hot tea, joking, “Do you want to hear the truth or a lie?”

Chen Lin’s lips were curved in a gentle smile: “A lie.”

Jiang Xi laughed.

Chen Lin also laughed and asked her again, “I’ve never asked you, after all these years, have you left that place, have you moved on?”

Jiang Xi knew what he meant. She didn’t speak.

Chen Lin: “I guess not.”

Jiang Xi looked up at him.

Chen Lin said, “That was the person I saw in the elevator last time, right?”

Truly, nothing could be hidden from Chen Lin.

Jiang Xi didn’t deny it. Before she could speak, Chen Lin had already said, “Actually, I’ve seen him, during the time we were together.”

Jiang Xi’s hand, spreading the napkin, paused. A few seconds later, she looked up again at the person across from her.

Chen Lin looked at her: “He came looking for you. But I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you then.”

Jiang Xi froze.

She truly hadn’t known these things.

What surprised Chen Lin was that after Jiang Xi regained her composure, she didn’t intend to question him further, as if she had just heard an insignificant piece of information.

She picked up her chopsticks, gesturing to Chen Lin: “Didn’t we say we’d come out for a meal? Let’s eat.”

Seeing her reaction, Chen Lin understood.

She clearly hadn’t moved on, yet she was resolute, unfeeling.

“I saw your news,” Chen Lin said, “Not planning to get back together?”

Jiang Xi’s chopsticks didn’t even pause for a moment. Hearing his question, she didn’t fall silent either: “Chen Lin, do you know what?”

She gave a natural chuckle: “Although some things sound very sentimental when said aloud, that’s just the reality. Some hurdles, if you can’t get over them, you truly can’t for a lifetime. No matter what, it won’t get better.”

“It’s better not to cross it. Stay far away, and you won’t be bothered.” Just cut it off completely.

Chen Lin chuckled after hearing her. Smart people don’t need things explained too clearly; both sides understood.

________________________________________

After that, they didn’t bring up that topic again. When they finished eating and left the private room, Chen Lin asked her, “When are you returning to Beijing?”

“This afternoon.”

Chen Lin: “So you really are going back to Beijing.”

Jiang Xi: “Did you think I was lying to you?”

“No.”

Outside the window, a fine rain was still falling, and the sky was grey. The two exchanged pleasantries like old friends.

They parted ways at the entrance. Jiang Xi was about to go to the parking lot to get her car.

Her phone vibrated in her coat pocket. Jiang Xi took it out and looked at it; it was an unknown number.