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Psst! We're moving!
In front of him,
I feel like myself, yet also not quite like myself.
——From Su Zaizai’s Little Fairy Diary
Su Zaizai quickly retreated a few steps, unscrewed her mineral water bottle, and took a few sips.
First, to quench her thirst.
If she accidentally swallowed audibly in front of the handsome man…
That would be too embarrassing.
After tightening the cap, Su Zaizai checked her reflection on her phone’s black screen. Then, she pulled a tissue from her bag, wiped the sweat from her forehead, and curved her lips into a smile.
Mm, good.
Her smile looked natural and pretty.
She slipped her phone into her pocket, took a deep breath, and suppressed all signs of nervousness.
Walking over, she tilted her head and greeted him: “Hey, Zhang Lurang.”
At the sound of her voice, Zhang Lurang turned to look at her. His eyes showed no hint of surprise, as calm and unruffled as the surface of a nighttime lake.
He gave a faint nod, acknowledging her greeting.
Su Zaizai instinctively tightened her grip on the water bottle, blinked, and asked curiously: “Do you live around here? I’ve never seen you at this bus stop before.”
“Mhm.”
“What neighborhood do you live in?”
This was a residential area with many surrounding communities, and Su Zaizai had no idea which one he lived in.
Upon hearing her question, Zhang Lurang glanced at her and replied vaguely: “Somewhere around here.”
That look…
It felt as if he were guarding against some kind of flood or wild beast.
Maybe she was mistaken.
Su Zaizai decided not to dwell on it further. Suddenly, she remembered the WeChat incident from yesterday. Carefully choosing her words, she asked tactfully: “Do you have WeChat?”
“…” She saw Zhang Lurang hesitate for a moment, touch the back of his neck, and then reply, “No.”
He probably thought lying wasn’t ideal, but compared to adding her on WeChat, Zhang Lurang preferred to lie.
Hmph.
If only she had directly asked why he hadn’t accepted her friend request—now what? She had exposed his lie, and he might feel awkward.
She had never realized how self-sacrificing she could be.
Forcing a smile, Su Zaizai asked: “Not planning to sign up for one?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
Awkward silence.
Su Zaizai’s mind raced. Zhang Lurang was clearly the slow-to-warm-up type; every step forward she took probably made him retreat two steps. Sighing inwardly for her future, she decided to take a step back first.
Clearing her throat, she casually fabricated an excuse: “You should sign up. WeChat has public accounts where you can check the real-time location of buses and calculate exactly when to leave home so you don’t have to wait outside for so long.”
Clearly not expecting such reasoning, Zhang Lurang’s eyes flickered with a hint of embarrassment. He averted his gaze and murmured softly: “Alright, thank you.”
“No problem,” Su Zaizai waved dismissively.
Both fell silent again.
Su Zaizai adjusted her backpack to the front, pulled out her phone, and checked the real-time location of Bus 71—it was still about ten stops away.
Secretly delighted, she hoped the roads would get jammed, delaying the bus even more.
The atmosphere grew awkward again. After some thought, she brought up another topic: “By the way, isn’t the school sports meet next Thursday? Are you participating in any events?”
“Mhm.”
“What about Campus Night? Are you performing?”
“…Mhm.”
This caught Su Zaizai off guard. She paused, her tone tinged with disbelief: “Huh? You’re performing? What are you doing?”
This time, Zhang Lurang didn’t answer her question.
Su Zaizai looked up at him and burst into laughter: “What’s with that look? Like you think I’m trying to steal your class’s ideas.”
Zhang Lurang didn’t look at her or offer an explanation.
“Hmph, don’t expect me to tell you either. Our class’s performance is amazing—the performer is both beautiful and classy. I’m almost falling for her myself.”
Seeing no reaction from him, Su Zaizai continued: “They say she’s beautiful, academically gifted, comes from a good family, has a cheerful personality, and is hailed as Z High’s number one goddess.”
Zhang Lurang was momentarily speechless. After a long pause, he finally said: “…Are you talking about yourself?”
If that were true, then he really had never met anyone as shameless as her.
Su Zaizai feigned a look of astonishment, her eyes widening slightly: “You guessed right—it’s me.”
“…”
“I didn’t expect you to think so highly of me.”
“…”
“Actually, I’m not as great as you think.”
“…”
Zhang Lurang’s brow twitched in irritation. Unable to tolerate any more, he put on his other earphone.
Seeing him don the earphones, Su Zaizai cautiously glanced at his expression—he didn’t seem angry…
Relieved, she let out a soft sigh, her eyelids drooping as her emotions hid behind them.
The two fell silent again.
When the 71 bus arrived, both walked toward it simultaneously. Su Zaizai stood behind Zhang Lurang, holding her student bus card ready.
As she swiped her card, she suddenly noticed that he wasn’t using a student card but instead dropped coins into the fare box.
Zhang Lurang removed one earphone and stood near the rear door, gripping an overhead handrail with one hand. Su Zaizai moved closer and reached up to grab the handrail above her as well.
After a moment of thought, Su Zaizai asked: “Have you had dinner yet?”
“No.”
“Then let’s go eat at Maoye Plaza!”
Maoye Plaza was the stop they’d be getting off at next, and from there, it would take another half-hour walk to reach school.
“No need—I’ll eat at the school cafeteria.”
“How did you know I secretly wanted to eat at the school cafeteria?” She raised an eyebrow, half-jokingly.
Zhang Lurang fell silent again, offering no response.
Su Zaizai’s heart sank. Just as she was about to say something to salvage the situation, the bus suddenly braked hard. Losing her balance, she instinctively grabbed onto something nearby.
And the only thing beside her… was Zhang Lurang.
Su Zaizai’s face instantly flushed red. She quickly let go, but the bus hadn’t fully stopped yet, causing her to sway unsteadily, nearly falling over. Too flustered to care about anything else, she hurriedly apologized: “Sorry! I didn’t mean to… I just lost my balance.”
Zhang Lurang opened his mouth to speak but before he could, she hastily added: “And I was just joking earlier—I didn’t plan to eat at the cafeteria anyway.”
The bus came to a halt, and a few passengers disembarked. Su Zaizai lowered her head and shuffled to the back, finding a seat.
Zhang Lurang glanced in her direction.
Today, she had tied all her usually loose hair back, making her look much fresher than usual. Her small, palm-sized face appeared even smaller under her bangs, her eyes dimmed, and her lips downturned.
The bus resumed its journey.
At the same time, Zhang Lurang averted his gaze.
Meanwhile, Su Zaizai grew increasingly anxious and uneasy in the back. She fidgeted with her fingers, turned to look out the window, and for the first time ever, felt the urge to cry.
She held back, but tears refused to come.
She didn’t dare look at Zhang Lurang again, instead sulking and pulling out her phone to play games.
As the game interface loaded, the screen briefly went black. In that instant, she caught a reflection of her own lips in the screen.
Her mood darkened further.
She really wanted to punch her own mouth until it was bruised and battered.
________________________________________
After getting off the bus, Su Zaizai immediately headed toward the snack street next to Maoye Plaza, picked a random shop to grab dinner, and then started walking back to school.
In truth, she didn’t want to eat out—but if someone saw her walking with Zhang Lurang, he might get upset.
On the way, Su Zaizai repeatedly pondered one question:
What kind of girl does Zhang Lurang like?
He’s so quiet—shouldn’t he find someone talkative to balance him out…?
But then again, he seems to prefer peace and quiet, so maybe he finds her too noisy.
Ahhhh, why can’t she stop talking when she’s around him?! She’s not usually this forward, and she can’t control herself!
Everything she does around him feels wrong.
Unable to figure it out, Su Zaizai began recalling something else: What expression had been on Zhang Lurang’s face when she accidentally touched him on the bus earlier?
It wasn’t until she reached the school gate that she remembered.
She had been so nervous at the time that she hadn’t even dared to look at him.
But then she recalled the fleeting emotions in his eyes when she had grabbed his wrist on the playground that day—impatience and… annoyance.
He’s so difficult to win over.
In his eyes, her looks probably amounted to nothing.
That left her with only her personality to conquer him—if she even had one.
________________________________________
When Su Zaizai entered the classroom, it was barely five o’clock, but more than ten people were already seated. A few were chatting in groups, while the rest were studying.
After taking a short break, she reluctantly picked up her physics workbook and began working on her homework, filled with dread.
Halfway through, Jiang Jia walked in through the front door, sat down, and excitedly leaned over to ask: “Hey, Zaizai, did you add him or not?”
Su Zaizai stared at the physics problem, her head on the verge of exploding. Hearing this question made it worse. Her pen paused, her expression unreadable.
She sighed and casually brushed it off: “Let me finish this first before I tell you.”
Seeing her struggling with physics, Jiang Jia sympathetically patted her shoulder and didn’t press further, quietly pulling out her phone to play with instead.
Suddenly, she noticed Su Zaizai’s WeChat username: “Huh? Why did you change your nickname?”
Since Jiang Jia hadn’t set a custom note for Su Zaizai, the change in her nickname was immediately visible.
Su Zaizai let out a surprised “Ah” but didn’t explain.
“What’s gotten into you? Your old nickname, Little Fairy, was perfect. Why change it to ‘SZZ’?”
“…I only changed it to ‘szz.’”
“And isn’t that just shorthand for ‘Su Zhi Zhang’ (Stupid Su)?”
“Shut up.”
Jiang Jia’s teasing completely ruined Su Zaizai’s motivation to continue studying.
After some thought, Su Zaizai briefly mentioned what had happened earlier and then asked: “Do you think he dislikes me? After all, he basically responds whenever I talk to him…”
“I don’t know,” Jiang Jia thought for a moment. “But I heard from my classmate that Zhang Lurang is just like that. Even though he seems aloof, he generally replies when people talk to him, so no one feels awkward.”
“Oh.” Su Zaizai felt a bit disappointed.
“Zhou Xuyin may seem lively, but he’s actually someone who won’t bother responding to you unless he wants to. So in comparison, the girls in their class actually prefer Zhang Lurang.”
Thinking about it this way, Su Zaizai found Zhang Lurang rather alluring, but it also made her feel exhausted.
If she ever managed to win him over, she’d have to constantly guard against him straying.
The more she thought about it, the lower her spirits sank: “I’m so afraid he’ll hate me.”
Jiang Jia hesitated for a moment before consoling her: “He probably doesn’t.”
“I’m scared of doing something wrong, of being too enthusiastic, or of him thinking I’m too cold.” Su Zaizai rubbed her eyes, unable to focus on anything else, murmuring: “But what can I do? I’ve never chased anyone before.”
Su Zaizai had no experience.
So she couldn’t gauge the right balance.
All she had for Zhang Lurang was boundless enthusiasm.
Whenever she encountered him, all that enthusiasm found an outlet.
Su Zaizai couldn’t control it.
Her enthusiasm naturally revealed her affection for him.
And Su Zaizai couldn’t control it at all.
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