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Psst! We're moving!
She asked me when I could call her “Zaizai.”
I need to practice.
— Zhang Lurang
The scene instantly fell silent.
Zhang Lurang placed his bowl back on the table, making a crisp sound.
He stood up and softly said: “I’m full.”
Zhang Mu glanced at his bowl and frowned: “You haven’t eaten much.”
The bowl was still almost full; he hadn’t eaten much.
The food on the table was still steaming hot, giving off warmth.
The warm yellow light shone down from above, but it didn’t feel warm at all.
Zhang Lurang was about to head upstairs.
Beside him, Zhang Luli rubbed his eyes and coaxingly said: “Brother, eat your meal.”
His steps paused, and in the end, he sat back down.
At the dining table, Zhang Mu continued talking.
Her voice was very gentle.
But to Zhang Lurang’s ears, it felt like thorns.
________________________________________
After finishing the meal, Zhang Lurang returned to his room.
He turned on the bright desk lamp with a “click” sound.
Zhang Lurang sat down and picked up his phone to take a look.
The desk lamp’s light was too bright, making it hard for him to see the content on his phone clearly.
Zhang Lurang adjusted the brightness higher.
Instantly, he saw the message Su Zaizai had sent him.
——I thought about it, I can’t always have you come to see me, right?
——How about I visit you during winter break?
Zhang Lurang lowered his gaze, thinking about how to respond.
But his fingers moved unconsciously, dialing her number.
After one ring, Su Zaizai picked up.
“Rang Rang.”
“Mm.”
“Why did you call me?”
“...”
“Are you feeling down?”
“No.”
She didn’t ask further and changed the subject.
“Today Jiang Jia told me that people with reduplicated names are usually very good-looking.”
“Is that so.” Zhang Lurang chuckled softly.
Su Zaizai earnestly said: “No wonder your name is Zhang Rang Rang.”
Zhang Lurang: “...”
“But I think,” Su Zaizai continued to flatter, “a mere name can’t determine your looks.”
There was a moment of silence.
Suddenly, Zhang Lurang asked: “How do you know I’m feeling down?”
“Because I’m not by your side.” She shamelessly replied.
She originally thought Zhang Lurang would deny it.
Little did she know,
The next second, he muttered in puzzlement.
“How do you always guess correctly.”
The other end went quiet.
Soon, Zhang Lurang heard a series of “beep beep” sounds in his ear.
At the same time, there were three knocks on the door.
He subconsciously raised his eyes and softly said: “Come in.”
Zhang Luli slowly turned the doorknob and walked in.
He habitually went to the bed behind Zhang Lurang and silently lay down.
Zhang Luli turned his head, looking at Zhang Lurang’s back.
The light fell on his black hair, creating a faint halo.
From this angle, he could just see him holding his phone, earnestly tapping on the screen.
The room was very quiet.
There was no sound from tapping on the phone screen.
No sound of flipping pages, and the person on the bed didn’t move, as if asleep.
Neither of them spoke.
After a while, Zhang Lurang flipped through the English vocabulary book in front of him.
A sticky note tucked inside slipped out.
Light blue, with some creases along the edges.
It was what Su Zaizai had stuck on the medicine box that day when he had a cold.
— Total Adoration
Zhang Lurang parted his lips, silently speaking.
Word by word: “Zaizai.”
He lost himself in thought.
Soon, hearing movement behind him, Zhang Lurang turned back.
At the same time, Zhang Luli lowered the arm covering his eyes.
Only then did Zhang Lurang realize Zhang Luli was still in his room.
“Go back to your room,” he said indifferently.
Zhang Luli sat up, lowering his head, not saying anything.
City B had already started to cool down.
Cold wind blew in through a small crack in the window.
Whistling, making Zhang Luli, wearing short sleeves and shorts, involuntarily shiver.
Noticing his movements, Zhang Lurang got up to close the window.
Just as he reached the window, Zhang Luli suddenly spoke behind him.
His tone low and hoarse, like he wanted to cry.
“Brother, should I not have skipped grades?”
Zhang Lurang paused, turning around: “What?”
He didn’t repeat.
The next second, Zhang Lurang realized.
He reached out to push the window, completely closing the only small gap.
The temperature in the room instantly stopped being cold enough to make one shiver.
Warmth gradually seeped in.
“A Li, it’s not your fault,” he earnestly replied.
Zhang Luli raised his head, meeting his eyes.
They were full of sparkling stars.
It was the light of relief.
________________________________________
In 2009, Lin Mao moved to City Z due to work reasons.
Before leaving, he told Zhang Lurang: “Don’t compare yourself with anyone.”
Zhang Lurang hung his head, not speaking.
In 2010, Lin Mao took leave and rushed from City Z to City B.
He walked into Zhang Lurang’s room.
Zhang Lurang turned his head towards the sound.
His face still carried a bit of childishness, the curves of his features still soft.
Still a child who hadn’t grown up yet.
“It’s not me comparing myself to him... It’s everyone else who compares me to him.”
Lin Mao’s throat tightened, and he couldn’t say anything for a moment.
“Do you blame A Li?” he asked.
Zhang Lurang didn’t speak, silently shaking his head.
Thinking carefully about it.
Zhang Lurang seemed to never have gotten angry at Zhang Luli.
Everyone praised Zhang Luli and belittled him.
Yet, he never gave up on himself or became disillusioned because of it.
Lin Mao didn’t know when he started becoming so taciturn.
Slowly putting on a layer of icy mask, seemingly indifferent to the world.
In reality, he was extremely gentle.
The world treated him poorly, but he still chose to treat it kindly.
Such a good Zhang Lurang.
________________________________________
Before Su Zaizai returned to school, she took Short Legs out for a walk.
Passing by Zhang Lurang’s house, she happened to see a young man walking Susu.
His posture was somewhat leisurely and lazy, wearing short sleeves and shorts, stepping in gray slippers.
Soon, he noticed Su Zaizai beside him.
Lin Mao tugged at the corner of his mouth, as if recognizing her identity.
His brows relaxed, and he chuckled softly.
Su Zaizai inexplicably felt like a kid caught in an early romance.
She nervously nodded at him and quickly turned back.
Lin Mao stood there, lost in thought.
He remembered the day he passed by that empty lot.
A boy pedaled a bike, and a girl cautiously held onto the back.
He wore a bright smile.
That reminded him of Zhang Lurang from long ago.
A Zhang Lurang Lin Mao hadn’t seen in many years.
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