CXD - 52

An hour later, in the inner courtyard of the Shen residence in Güzang.

Jingzhe and Guyu stood anxiously by Jiang Zhiyi’s bedside, waiting for Li Dafeng to take her pulse.

After a moment, Li Dafeng released her wrist and looked up. “The fatigue from days of travel, coupled with the shock and emotional upheaval, has caused her to faint. She’ll be fine after resting; there’s no serious issue.”

The two maids exhaled in relief.

Li Dafeng instructed them to light a calming incense for Jiang Zhiyi, then exchanged a meaningful glance with Yuan Ce before heading out.

Yuan Ce sat on the edge of the bed, silently gazing at Jiang Zhiyi’s furrowed brows as she slept deeply. After a long silence, he gently lifted her hand from the edge of the quilt and tucked it inside, then rose and left the room.

As he closed the door behind him, he met Li Dafeng’s knowing gaze.

“Go ahead,” Yuan Ce said, leaning against a pillar and tilting his chin slightly.

Throughout their journey, he had regularly asked Li Dafeng to check Jiang Zhiyi’s “safekeeping pulse.” Each time, Li Dafeng reported that her blood stasis was gradually diminishing, so Yuan Ce was accustomed to this look.

“The last traces of blood stasis remain, but they shouldn’t affect her cognition anymore. She’s been holding onto certain memories recently, likely because she’s unwilling to face the truth. Now, it’s a matter of whether her self-deception outweighs the shocks she’s facing—be prepared for anything in the coming days.”

Yuan Ce turned his head toward the bedroom, his face half-lit by the corridor lamps and half-hidden in shadow. After a long pause, he nodded. “Understood.”

The night was quiet. On the bed in the bedroom, Jiang Zhiyi lay with her eyes tightly shut, fragmented scenes flickering through her dreams—

“It’s just a cricket! You’d think I put a snake on you or something!” The carefree youth lovingly retrieved the cricket that had jumped onto her and examined it carefully, asking with concern if it had been frightened. Seeing it unharmed, he proudly held it up for her to see. “This cricket is a champion warrior, a once-in-a-century marvel! It’s an honor for it to have jumped on you!”

She had already felt nauseous, but seeing him bring the insect closer infuriated her beyond words. Trembling, she pointed a finger while retreating. “Guards, crush this filthy thing for me!”

The guards stepped forward, swatted the cricket away, and crushed it underfoot.

The youth stared in disbelief, his temper flaring as he charged forward.

The guards quickly blocked him. “This is Lady Yongying. Show respect!”

“I don’t care if you’re a princess or a duchess—you killed my cricket, and now you owe it your life!”

The scene suddenly shifted to a poetry banquet by the winding stream—

“I had a mighty cricket, brave and strong, fallen into the hands of a shrew, its fate cut tragically short!” When it was the youth’s turn to compose a poem, he raised his cup and recited these lines aloud.

Seated by the stream, she rose in anger and indignation. “Shen Yuance, are you calling me a shrew?”

He sneered disdainfully at her. “Whoever stands up must be the one! What do you all think?”

The scene shifted again, this time to a narrow street where they crossed paths—

“Well, well, whose carriage is blocking the way? Turns out it’s the infamous Lady Yongying!” The youth on horseback clicked his tongue disapprovingly, pointing at her carriage.

She pushed open the carriage door, glanced out, and smirked coldly. “I thought whose mouth was so foul—it’s the notorious wastrel Shen.”

“No matter how bad my reputation is, I can still find a wife. But with your temper, can you even get married? Maybe you haven’t heard, but a few days ago, His Majesty summoned the Fourth Prince and proposed a marriage alliance, asking if he still harbored feelings for you since childhood. The prince replied with eight words: ‘Childhood jests, not to be taken seriously!’” The youth burst into laughter.

…

The fleeting images slowly faded into a long blank void. When the dream resumed, it was the day of the Xiance Army’s triumphant return, at a teahouse—

“If someone wanted to poison you, they wouldn’t do it in broad daylight. This tea is fine to drink. But I was wondering earlier—may I ask who you are?” The returning youth sat tall on his horse, looking up at her.

In the military tent—

“You’ve been making such a fuss in this tent. Why not just tell me what you want? If I can give it to you, I won’t hesitate.”

“I? That’s something I’m afraid I can’t give you, Lady.”

On a desolate hillside—

The footsteps of bandits grew closer behind her. She tripped and fell, clutching desperately at the hem of the garment in front of her.

The rider frowned, lowered his eyelashes, and slowly pulled his clothing free, letting her hand fall into the mud.

On the military cot—

She awoke disheveled and saw the youth sitting by the bed. She buried her head into his chest. “Brother Ace!”

…

“Aaaahhh!” A piercing scream shattered the early morning silence.

In the bright bedroom, Jingzhe and Guyu, who had been resting by the bedside, were startled awake. They looked up to see Jiang Zhiyi sitting up, her face pale, her forehead drenched in sweat, gasping for breath.

“What’s wrong, Princess? Did you have another nightmare?” Jingzhe hurried to calm her breathing.

Jiang Zhiyi stared ahead, her gaze fixed on the unfamiliar courtyard outside the window. As her breathing gradually steadied, she turned her head blankly. “Jingzhe, where am I…?”

“In the Shen residence, in Güzang. You moved in with General Shen yesterday, don’t you remember?”

“The Shen residence, Güzang…” Jiang Zhiyi lowered her head, staring at herself. Her wide, almond-shaped eyes were vacant and lifeless. “Then who am I now?”

“Princess, don’t scare us! You’re Lady Yongying!”

“Besides being Lady Yongying, who else am I?” Jiang Zhiyi grabbed Jingzhe’s hand just as Guyu approached with tea. The teacup was accidentally knocked over, shattering on the ground with a loud crash.

Footsteps rushed toward the bedroom. “Madam, is everything alright in there?”

At the mention of that dreaded title, Jiang Zhiyi trembled violently, her face draining of color. Her lips quivered as she muttered, “It wasn’t a dream… I really am engaged to Shen Yuance…”

Seeing her reaction, Jingzhe’s heart sank. She swallowed nervously and called out, “The princess woke up from a nightmare and knocked over the teacup. Everything’s fine.” She then instructed Guyu, “Tell them the princess wishes to change and freshen up. Have everyone retreat at least five paces away. Then stand guard at the door and don’t let anyone near.”

Though unsure of what was happening, Guyu recognized the gravity of the situation from Jingzhe’s demeanor and obediently followed her instructions without question.

Once certain no one could overhear their conversation, Jingzhe whispered, “Princess, do you remember something?”

Jiang Zhiyi hesitated, nodding faintly, then shook her head in disbelief. Clutching Jingzhe’s hand tightly, she murmured, “Jingzhe, what’s happened to me? Why am I like this… Why am I with Shen Yuance…”

“Princess, do you remember hitting your head on the carriage when we encountered bandits four months ago?”

Jiang Zhiyi’s breath caught. She stared at Jingzhe for a long moment before whispering, “So I’m the one who lost my memory…?”

Wait—if it’s not just memory loss, then… has her memory become distorted?

Jiang Zhiyi shook her head forcefully, vaguely recalling the strange dream she had before the bandit attack and the romance novel The Tale of Yiyi she had read countless times the night before.

“It’s… it’s that novel… I thought I was…” Jiang Zhiyi stammered, her eyes wide with shock as she froze on the bed.

In the pause that followed, fragments of memory began to resurface—memories from the novel, from reality, from before she hit her head, and from after.

How absurd… This is utterly ridiculous!

“What about me and Shen Yuance? Me and him… I…”

Jiang Zhiyi glanced down at her hand gripping Jingzhe’s, but in her mind, she saw another hand intertwined with hers.

As if burned, Jiang Zhiyi abruptly let go.

She turned her gaze away and caught sight of her bare feet. Suddenly, she remembered that hand gripping her ankle, gently circling and caressing it.

Startled, Jiang Zhiyi quickly pulled her feet back under the quilt.

Jingzhe watched as Jiang Zhiyi panicked, frantically covering every part of herself that felt “violated.” From her hair to her shoulders, waist, and knees, she eventually realized there was no way to cover everything. Wrapping herself tightly in the quilt, she hugged herself.

Then, as if struck by an even more alarming realization, she gasped deeply and touched her lips with trembling fingers.

Jingzhe’s heart sank.

Jiang Zhiyi curled her toes one by one, her voice quivering with tears. “Jingzhe, I’m tainted—I’m not pure anymore…”

For two full quarters of an hour, Jingzhe tried in vain to console her. By the end, Jiang Zhiyi’s face was streaked with tears of regret, and she cried out to the heavens—

“Why did this happen… Why weren’t you by my side? Why didn’t anyone tell me the truth? Not a single person stopped me!”

“Baojia gave me advice, and even Uncle recognized him as a potential son-in-law… Was I insane? Were they all blind too?”

Jiang Zhiyi pointed tearfully toward the southeast, the direction of Chang’an.

“What kind of person was he before? How did he treat me? He spent his days gambling, fighting chickens, and chasing dogs, speaking rudely to me. After returning from battle, he acted like he didn’t even know me…”

“How could I have chased after someone like him for so long? When he ignored me, I stood outside his gate in the freezing cold for two hours in the middle of winter—during a snowstorm! I must’ve been out of my mind to endure such cold!”

“I even chased him to the academy to secure our engagement… That place was full of lecherous men, and I endured it for him? I sprained my ankle because of him, and the whole of Chang’an heard about it…”

“All my dignity as a princess is gone!” Jiang Zhiyi recounted each humiliation, trembling and gasping for breath between sobs.

Jingzhe knew she needed to vent. She should let her cry freely, but she feared Jiang Zhiyi might faint from exhaustion. Patting her back soothingly, Jingzhe reassured her: “Princess, calm yourself. During my trip back to the capital, everyone in Chang’an has been praising your match with General Shen as a perfect union. The noble sons all say he’s the lucky one to marry you. No one speaks ill of you…”

“Of course he’s the lucky one! Does Shen Yuance even deserve such a perfect match? Does he deserve for me to travel thousands of miles for him…”

At this point, Jiang Zhiyi suddenly remembered her current predicament. Her crying paused, and she slowly scanned the room with tear-filled eyes. Finally, her gaze fell on Jingzhe, her expression hollow and lost. “Now that the marriage is set in stone and I’m here in Hexi, over a thousand miles from Chang’an… What am I supposed to do?”

“Princess, if you truly decide against this confused engagement, just say the word. If I can make it here, I’ll accompany you back.”

“Of course I’ve thought it through! My mind is clear now—how could I not?” Jiang Zhiyi wiped away her tears, unable to stay a moment longer. Taking a deep breath, she declared, “You’re right. If I can come here, I can leave too. Let’s go now!”

Jiang Zhiyi threw off the quilt and stepped down from the bed without hesitation.

Jingzhe hurriedly draped a robe over her shoulders, but before she could remind her of anything, Jiang Zhiyi pushed open the door.

Outside the door, starting from the five-paces distance Jingzhe had requested earlier, guards stood at ten-step intervals along the corridor, extending down the pebbled path of the courtyard and all the way to the distant gates. Fully armored soldiers of the Xiance Army stood solemnly at attention…

Jiang Zhiyi was stunned by the sight. Slowly, she turned to look at Jingzhe.

Jingzhe quickly stepped forward, pulling her back inside and closing the door. “Princess, this is what I wanted to tell you earlier. This morning, General Shen received urgent military business and had to leave for the camp. Before leaving, he stationed these men here to ensure your safety. The entire courtyard is surrounded. Unless we can get past General Shen, it will be difficult to leave…”

“…Why would he surround me with guards?”

“Princess, your mind is overwhelmed right now, and you haven’t fully processed it yet. General Shen likely knew about your memory loss from the beginning…”

The flood of information was overwhelming. Jiang Zhiyi had spent the day wallowing in self-pity and hadn’t yet considered—what was going on with Shen Yuance?

Yes, she hadn’t simply chased after him. Instead, she had cast herself as the heroine of The Tale of Yiyi , believing herself to be his former lover all along. He must have known from the start that she was delusional. So why hadn’t he exposed her? Why had he let her continue this madness—and even joined in it?

Dazed, Jiang Zhiyi retreated from the door. After a moment, she murmured, “…Jingzhe, something feels wrong about all of this.”

“What do you mean, Princess?”

“Do you think… why did he agree to marry me?”

“From what I’ve observed, General Shen seems to genuinely care for you now. Perhaps he’s afraid you’ll reject him once your memory returns, so he rushed to secure the engagement and bring you to Hexi.”

“But he used to hate me as much as I hated him. At first, when I confronted him, he clearly wanted nothing to do with me…”

“Well, think about when his attitude toward you changed. Maybe that’s when he began to fall for you?”

Jiang Zhiyi sat on the edge of the bed, forcing herself to recall despite her regret and embarrassment—

The first time she called him “Brother Ace,” he knocked her out cold. The second time, she sent him a note inviting him to watch the snow, but he didn’t show up…

Later, she went to the military camp to apologize for missing their meeting. She remembered him beating prisoners half to death that day—and he still wore a scowl.

Afterward… afterward, when she sought refuge at the Shen residence, he left her waiting until midnight, still reluctant and unwilling.

Until—

Jiang Zhiyi’s expression shifted. Shen Yuance’s change in attitude seemed to occur the next day, after the jade pendant inscribed with the character “Yi” shattered in his study…

In the novel, the heroine gave the hero a crescent-shaped white jade pendant adorned with light blue tassels, engraved with her name. In her confusion, Jiang Zhiyi had mistaken that pendant for the token of affection she had given him.

But that pendant absolutely wasn’t hers.

Why was it in his room? And whose was it?

Jiang Zhiyi’s eyes widened. “Pei Xueqing?”

The fight over the pendant had ended with Pei Xueqing claiming to suffer from hysteria. But now, it was clear that Jiang Zhiyi herself had been the one losing her mind.

If the pendant wasn’t hers, then it must belong to Pei Xueqing… Could Pei Xueqing and Shen Yuance have secretly been lovers?

If so, why did Pei Xueqing claim to have hysteria? And if Shen Yuance already had a lover, why did he propose to her?

Moreover, Shen Yuance’s proposal occurred on the very day Pei Xueqing arrived with the other half of the pendant.

So he betrayed his former lover while trapping her in the immoral act of stealing another woman’s fiancé. Then he deceived her into traveling thousands of miles, leaving her stranded with no one to turn to…

Shen Yuance—how dare he call himself human!

The more Jiang Zhiyi thought about it, the more tangled and terrifying it became. Throughout the day, every time she opened the door or a window, she saw the unyielding Xiance Army standing guard. Even when Guyu fetched her meals, someone shadowed her every move.

She asked Jingzhe to accompany her for some fresh air, and they didn’t interfere. But when she approached the gates, attempting to leave, someone immediately blocked her path, explaining that the young mistress had encountered trouble on the streets the previous night. If she wished to leave, it would be best to wait for the general’s return that evening.

It was clear now: when Shen Yuance saw her react so strongly to the cricket, he must have suspected her memory was returning. That’s why he had “softly imprisoned” her here.

In other words, she was truly trapped. Unless she could get past Shen Yuance, she wouldn’t just be unable to return to Chang’an—she couldn’t even leave this small estate!

As the sun set and dusk fell, Jiang Zhiyi grew momentarily dazed. She wondered what she would have been doing today if she hadn’t recovered her memory.

Would she have happily waited for Shen Yuance to return home? Or perhaps, unable to wait, she would have gone to the military camp to find him.

But now, deep into the night, she remained seated stiffly in the room like a block of wood.

She felt there were still things she hadn’t figured out. But after crying and ranting all day, recalling so many memories at once left her utterly exhausted. Her mind simply couldn’t process any further.

At some unknown hour, a low voice outside called softly, “General.”

Two knocks sounded on the door. The person outside spoke a single syllable—”Jiang”—then fell silent, waiting for her response.

Seeing the figure’s shadow reflected on the screen, Jiang Zhiyi’s heart nearly leapt into her throat. She straightened herself on the divan and exchanged a glance with Jingzhe.

Jingzhe nodded encouragingly.

Jiang Zhiyi closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

If merely suspecting her memory recovery prompted Shen Yuance to take such measures, who knew what awaited her if he confirmed she was fully conscious.

For now, the only leverage she had was control over her own memory. As long as she didn’t admit she had recovered, she could at least stabilize Shen Yuance and find an opportunity to remove the guards watching her.

After that, she’d take it one step at a time.

Opening her eyes, Jiang Zhiyi spoke clearly: “Come in.”

The door was slowly pushed open. Yuan Ce stood at the threshold, lifting his eyelids slowly to peer inside.

Jiang Zhiyi sat poised on the divan, meeting his probing gaze. Recalling how she had smiled at him over the past four months, she gradually curved her lips upward and sweetly began, “Ahh—”

Yuan Ce blinked.

Jiang Zhiyi’s lips froze mid-smile, and she struggled to try again. “Ahh—”

Yuan Ce: “?”

“Ahhh—”

Yuan Ce tilted his head slightly, continuing to wait.

“Achoo…” Jiang Zhiyi covered her mouth with a handkerchief, sneezing rather gracelessly.

Yuan Ce: “…………”