SOTBW - 170

Maximón, frustrated by his cowardice and foolishness, endlessly apologized to Najane. The only thing that came to mind was the word “sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Najane’s tone was calm as usual, but there was a slight trace of reproach in her voice.

As the time for the truth, which had been reluctantly delayed, finally drew near, Maximón’s face slowly darkened. He knew he had to tell Najane the truth, but he found it difficult to speak.

The truth, hidden under the excuse of not wanting to be hated, had now manifested as Najane’s death. Maximón had always made decisions and taken responsibility for everything on his own, but this time, he couldn’t.

Reluctantly releasing Najane, Maximón spoke in a voice heavy with guilt.

“...At first, I planned to use you. I was going to abandon you once you became too injured to fight. But then I fell in love with you, and how could I do that... If I could, I would have locked you up in the manor, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you being disappointed in me when you found out what I’d done... No, I’m not blaming you. It’s because I’m a coward... A coward, for doing this to you...”

Maximón trailed off, unable to meet Najane’s eyes. All he could do was regret the wrongs of the past.

If he had known Najane’s body would deteriorate so quickly...

Having received an early warning from Taylor, he thought he had been taking good care of Najane. He had been sure that if her body began to die slowly, he would be the first to notice.

However, after Najane had used her sword technique on the field several times, he saw no signs of it. She was tired after the battle, but that was true for everyone who survived on the field.

So, he thought it would be fine. He thought she could still fight a bit more, that it would be better to have her train the soldiers instead of going out into the field once winter ended and spring arrived.

Maximón hated himself for his arrogance and embraced Najane’s small body tightly.

At that moment, Najane gently pushed against Maximón’s chest. Unlike Maximón, whose face was soaked with tears, Najane had a calm expression, as though she had accepted the reality to some extent.

Najane stared at Maximón, whose eyes were so full of tears they seemed to lose focus, and then asked in a trembling voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth after confessing your love?”

“...I was afraid of being hated by you.”

That was, in Maximón’s own view, an incredibly childish excuse.

But unfortunately, it was the truth.

“I was too scared to hear you say you were disappointed in me. I know... This is all just an excuse. My vague fear and insecurity ruined you.”

As she listened to Maximón’s confession, Najane covered her face with both hands. A rush of resentment and betrayal overwhelmed her. The feelings of disappointment, as strong as her love for him, surged within her, but she calmly controlled her emotions.

Given that the outcome was already set, shouting and yelling seemed pointless.

“...Please tell me everything that Dame Elderkerth said.”

“It was exactly what I told you. He said that because your heart is weak, using the sword technique would shorten your life...”

“Did he say anything else?”

“Nothing at all...”

Before Maximón had finished speaking, Najane coldly and harshly shouted.

“You’re a coward and a fearful person.”

Maximón could not deny those words.

Lowering his head, Maximón tried to take Najane’s hand, but she pushed him away, swallowing her tears.

“...I wasn’t afraid to reveal my flaws because I loved you... But you only thought about yourself until the end. If you truly loved me, you should have told me everything. You should have explained why I couldn’t go into the field, why I shouldn’t use the sword technique... If I hadn’t collapsed, you would have kept this secret forever.”

Najane’s words were true. Maximón had tried to keep everything about Najane and the sword technique a secret. He had intended to hide it for as long as possible, even forever if he could.

Najane’s eyes reddened again from the sorrow. Maximón hurried to wipe away her tears, but Najane pushed his hand away and punched his chest with her fist.

The sound of her fist hitting him was sharp, but there was no strength behind it, so it didn’t hurt at all. As she struck him, filled with anger, Najane exhaled heavily and let her shoulders slump in exhaustion.

Leaning her forehead against Maximón’s chest, Najane bit her lip.

“They say they don’t know how long I can live. They say it’s not strange if I die tomorrow... You said you loved me! You said you loved me! Why did you keep it a secret, why, why, why?!”

Shouting, Najane squeezed her eyes shut, as though trying to swallow her pain, and then collapsed into Maximón’s arms, sobbing.

Maximón, his face blank, pulled her into his embrace. It was clear now that he fully realized what he had done.

Wrapping his arm around Najane’s shoulder, Maximón muttered in a voice filled with self-reproach.

“...I’m sorry.”

If I had been just a little more mature, if I had known how to care for others, if I had learned how to love without doubt, if I had been born to accept love purely…

God sent you to me so that I could become human. Through my foolishness, I would lose you, and finally understand what love truly is…

If I had been kinder, I wouldn’t have hurt you. If I had always been moral and righteous, I would have made you happy at all times.

Can I call what I feel for you love?

Najane, I…

“...I’m sorry that this is the only way I could care for you.”

Maximón whispered in a hoarse, barely audible voice.

“I don’t deserve to love you, and I don’t deserve to be loved by you... I am...”

At that moment, Najane, who had buried her face in Maximón’s chest and was crying, lifted her head. Her crimson eyes were filled with anger as she looked at him.

“Say that again. What did you say?”

When Najane glared at him, her eyes red, Maximón fell silent. He blinked, unable to understand what he had done wrong.

Najane, her emotions of anger and sadness growing stronger, cupped Maximón’s face with both hands.

“I have one last question for you.”

“...Anything. Ask me anything.”

“You knew I was cursed the moment you saw me. Then did you also know there was another spell on my body?”

“Another spell...?”

“Really, you didn’t know?”

Maximón shook his head, his face blank with confusion, not understanding what she meant.

Najane felt a faint sense of relief and wrapped her arms around Maximón’s neck. If he had known how dangerous the spell on her back was and still hid it, she would not have been able to forgive him.

According to Gwyneth, the reason Najane had received a terminal diagnosis so quickly was because of that spell. Keeping secret how the sword technique was destroying her body was bad enough, but Najane could forgive Maximón.

Najane knew how young and insecure Maximón was when it came to love. He was a person who, despite commanding knights on the battlefield and wielding a sword with power, was emotionally clumsy, and he seemed to realize that to some extent.

Above all, Najane loved Maximón. As much as she loved him, the pain was immense, but forgiveness was necessary. It would hurt her less to forgive than to spend the rest of her time in resentment and hatred.

Had Maximón not loved Najane, she would not have been able to forgive him. But Najane knew how deeply he loved her. Knowing that love, she had no choice but to forgive him.

Otherwise, Maximón would harm himself and waste the remaining time. Najane did not want that. The death looming before her was deep and dark, but she wished that Maximón would not suffer after sending her away.

Most importantly, if Najane were to die soon... Luna would need a new protector. Maximón, being the most influential person at Noctis Fortress, would be able to protect Luna for a long time if he regained her.

Najane, having steadied her trembling voice with her sobs, looked at Maximón again.

“...Don’t ever say you don’t deserve to be loved again.”

At those words, Maximón met Najane’s gaze. His usually calm and dry dark green eyes were now damp, as though soaked by the midsummer monsoon.

Najane forced a smile and wiped away the tears from Maximón’s eyes and cheeks.

“How do you think I feel when you say such things?”

At her words, Maximón’s expression, which had been holding back a whirlwind of emotions, finally twisted in pain.

Najane was kind, gentle, and endlessly good.

Maximón had thought that if Najane truly loved him, she would understand the mistakes he had made. He believed that this was what love was, so he thought it was only natural.

But Maximón wept with immense guilt and deep regret at Najane’s words. Even though he was experiencing the love he had longed for, he could only cry.

He didn’t want to realize love this way. He didn’t want to understand what it meant to be loved and forgiven by losing Najane.

His face, which had always been composed and indifferent, now crumbled as if he had lost his limbs. While Najane was the one facing death, it felt as if Maximón was the one disappearing.

Najane silently held the weeping Maximón. As she embraced his trembling body, more tears welled up in her eyes. This kind of death was something Najane had never imagined, and it felt too vague. Even when she received the terminal diagnosis from Gwyneth, she couldn’t believe it.

It was the same now. While she had seemingly accepted death in her mind, strangely, it felt like a bad dream she couldn’t fully comprehend. She almost expected that when she woke up the next day, Gwyneth would come back and tell her it wasn’t a big deal.

Najane knew that she was denying her own death, but she couldn’t bring herself to correct that thought. Right now, all she could do was cry with Maximón. She couldn’t do anything else, and she didn’t want to.

But Najane still had things to do.

Gently letting go of Maximón, she lowered her head. Looking at his swollen red eyes, Najane forced a bitter smile.

“...You know, we have a lot to talk about, right?”

Maximón tightly grasped Najane’s hand, which was touching his cheek, and nodded quietly.

“I want to sit on the sofa.”

Najane told Maximón. Without hesitation, he lifted her up and sat her down.

Najane, sitting weakly on the sofa, was about to ask him to sit next to her when she noticed Maximón was barefoot. She looked at him, puzzled, wondering where his shoes were. Maximón awkwardly scratched his head.

“I... went for a walk.”

“With no shoes?”

“...To help with circulation...”

Maximón couldn’t bring himself to say he had just come from praying for Najane at the cathedral. Najane looked at him with a puzzled expression as he made up such a strange excuse. After a brief pause, she nodded as if to say she’d believe him just this once, though she didn’t quite feel convinced.

“...I’ll go get my slippers. Just a moment.”

Maximón rushed off to find his slippers, and the sounds of him rummaging through a room could be heard. It seemed like he was desperately searching for them.

Sitting on the sofa, Najane closed her eyes as she listened to the bustling sounds of him walking and rummaging through things. The image of Maximón’s frozen red feet stirred a complex mix of emotions in her.

She could guess that he must have taken off his shoes somewhere and rushed here as soon as he heard she had woken up.

Najane pressed her palm against her eyes, trying not to cry.

“...You fool.”