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Cheng Mi didn’t attend that self-study class.
She went to the alley behind the school.
The area behind the school gate was abandoned land, with old houses clustered together. A demolition notice had been issued two years ago, but there had been no movement since.
Cheng Mi had initially thought that before reaching the alley, she would hear him before seeing him.
Wherever that person was, the surroundings were never quiet.
But everything turned out differently than she expected. All the way there, Cheng Mi felt as if she had entered a desolate place. The bustling street was not far away, but the sound of horns seemed to come from a distant land.
Cheng Mi was not alarmed or afraid; every step she took was firm.
Even though she knew what awaited her was the same dark, sunless period that had once shattered every bone in her body.
In truth, Cheng Mi had always known Chen Zhaochi would come for her someday; their messy accounts were far from settled.
The streetlight at the head of the alley was old and in disrepair, rust crawling all over its pole. Cheng Mi passed it and walked into the alley.
The alley was long and deep, overgrown with weeds, its walls covered in mottled black and gray, with a few haphazardly pasted items.
As she stepped in, Cheng Mi’s eyes were instinctively drawn to the few stark white pieces of paper on the wall.
The moment she recognized what those things on the wall were, the gray-white sky at the end of the alley seemed to collapse with a roar.
On those printed papers on the wall, Li Chu’s clothes were almost ripped to shreds; under those demonic claws, everything that shouldn’t be exposed was.
Cheng Mi’s legs turned to jelly; she could barely stand.
A fire shot straight to her head, wishing she could kill Chen Zhaochi on the spot.
But at the same time, this fire burned her, leaving her scorched and scarred all over.
Cheng Mi ran to the wall, frantically and forcefully tearing down the papers.
Her fingertips dug harshly into the wall, blood oozing from under her fingernails.
Cheng Mi seemed not to feel it, only focusing on tearing fiercely.
Chen Zhaochi! Why the hell aren’t you dead yet?!
The tearing of paper seemed to rip the air itself.
Those papers were crumpled into balls in Cheng Mi’s hands.
The papers were twisted and creased, like a sinner crawling painfully forward.
After tearing off the last sheet, Cheng Mi didn’t hesitate for a moment, tearing these things into tiny shreds in her hands.
But Cheng Mi knew that even if she destroyed these papers, it wouldn’t erase the fact that she was bound to move forward burdened by guilt.
If it weren’t for her, Li Chu wouldn’t have had to endure such humiliation and pain.
Her Li Chu should always have her head held high, spirited and full of vigor, her life bright and open.
There was a discarded corrugated iron trash can nearby. Cheng Mi walked over to throw away the shredded papers, only to find her hand trembling slightly.
Just as she was about to let go and toss the things into the trash can, her hand suddenly paused.
She wondered if anyone would come here, if anyone would throw things into this trash can.
What if Li Chu’s things were seen by someone?
Even though they were already torn to shreds, what if?
Cheng Mi’s hand hovered above the trash can, then she pulled it back.
The alley was silent; Chen Zhaochi hadn’t appeared.
Cheng Mi turned around and left the alley.
________________________________________
Back in the classroom, the class was still in self-study.
The atmosphere in Class 4’s self-study was always relaxed; good students studied, while those with poor grades chatted.
The environment was noisy, so Cheng Mi’s entry didn’t attract much attention.
She didn’t sit down for self-study. She picked up her backpack and left.
It wasn’t dismissal time yet, so the roads were quite empty, and there wasn’t a single person at the bus stop.
Cheng Mi took the bus to the clear bar.
When she got there, the clear bar wasn’t open yet, only half of the door was ajar.
The fire in Cheng Mi’s heart intensified as she got closer to the clear bar, burning more fiercely.
At the same time, with every step closer, it felt like she was falling into an ice cellar, her entire body chilling.
Stepping into the clear bar, there was no glittering light or vibrating music, only a streak of sunlight cast through the stained-glass window.
The sunlight turned into various colors, falling on the floor, and dust motes floated in the beams of light.
In the central booth of the clear bar, sat two figures.
With their backs to the door, the boy was relaxed, sunken into the sofa, his legs spread open, toying with a wine glass between his fingers.
The air was not silent.
A girl sat on the boy’s lap, laughing and hugging his neck.
Cheng Mi stood there, able to see only half of the girl’s face. The two were kissing.
Cheng Mi didn’t avoid it.
She stood by the door, watching with a cold expression.
The person didn’t even turn around, as if he had eyes in the back of his head.
His voice was slow and leisurely: “When did you develop a hobby of watching people make out?”
Cheng Mi wasn’t interested in watching, nor did she have the patience to wait. She walked straight in.
The girl on Chen Zhaochi’s lap still looked like a student. Kissing was one thing, but being seen in the act was another. She was still thin-skinned, her face and ears flushed crimson.
Then Chen Zhaochi patted her head: “Done. Let’s go.”
The girl, blushing, mumbled and got off him, then ran away.
Before her footsteps faded, and before Cheng Mi even reached him.
Chen Zhaochi asked her: “How was it? Did you like the gift I sent you?”
His voice carried a faint smile, yet every syllable exuded a disgusting, chilling malice.
The scenes from the alley behind the school were still imprinted on her mind.
Cheng Mi fiercely restrained herself from grabbing the wine bottle on the table. She walked over and grabbed Chen Zhaochi by his lapel.
She pulled so hard that her fingertips almost tore his clothes.
Cheng Mi rarely got this provoked, only by Chen Zhaochi.
She stared down at Chen Zhaochi, every word seemingly bitten out: “Chen Zhaochi, aren’t you disgusting?”
Chen Zhaochi’s single eyelids were sharp, and a hideous scar ran from his forehead to his right eye.
He looked like a fiend when he wasn’t smiling, but at this moment, he was smiling.
He was being grabbed by Cheng Mi’s clothes, yet he showed no intention of breaking free. He remained slumped in the sofa, smiling at Cheng Mi and saying, “How can you be like this? Cheng Mi, we’re old friends.”
Her personality was, after all, consistent. In this situation, Cheng Mi still didn’t become hysterical.
However, at this moment, looking at Chen Zhaochi’s smiling face, Cheng Mi felt a vengeful urge to destroy that hypocritical, fake smile.
“Old friends?” Cheng Mi knew what would provoke Chen Zhaochi the most. “Chen Zhaochi, you piece of trash, who wants to be friends with you?”
As she said this, the faint smile on Chen Zhaochi’s face still hadn’t faded.
Cheng Mi said in the calmest tone: “Even your own mother didn’t want you. How much of a piece of trash are you?”
As expected, Chen Zhaochi’s expression changed the moment she finished speaking.
Cheng Mi was violently flung onto the sofa, her entire back hitting it, and he pinned her down by her throat.
Chen Zhaochi’s face darkened: “Cheng Mi, do you want to die right now?”
Cheng Mi told him: “If you’re still a man, kill me now.”
Chen Zhaochi, however, smiled: “Wouldn’t that be letting you off easy?”
Cheng Mi glared at him.
Chen Zhaochi reached to lift her chin: “I see you’re doing quite well here, dating and making friends. You’re very popular at school, and you even signed with some company a few days ago, getting ready to debut.”
His tone still carried a smile, but it sent chills down her spine.
“And me, Cheng Mi? Sometimes I can’t even sleep well in jail.”
As Cheng Mi expected, the shackles of those past events were bound to be placed back around her neck one day.
No, they had always been around her neck.
But, Chen Zhaochi also deserved to die.
Cheng Mi said each word slowly: “Your death in there has nothing to do with me.”
Chen Zhaochi frowned slightly, looking hurt: “Why are you so disloyal?”
“Cheng Mi, we’ve been in the detention center together.”
How long had it been since she had thought about these things in detail? Cheng Mi didn’t know.
Chen Zhaochi wasn’t trying to remind her, but to engrave these things into her mind.
“Did you forget?” He pointed to the scar on his face. “This was left by you.”
Chen Zhaochi finished, then lightly patted Cheng Mi’s face: “And, you almost blinded me. Do you remember now?”
Cheng Mi turned her face away, not letting his dirty hands touch her.
Chen Zhaochi said: “Didn’t you come here to get rid of all this mess?”
“It’s been over a year. How well have you forgotten?” He deliberately provoked her, “But these things are so interesting, how could you forget?”
Chen Zhaochi smiled: “Shall I help you recall?”
All those past events that Li Yeheng had desperately tried to help her escape by sending her to Fengxun.
Once again, they were brutally torn open before Cheng Mi, every word, every second, every frame, like a fresh knife slowly torturing her.
“You ruined Li Chu.”
“You killed Jiang Xunzhi.”
“Jiang Xunzhi, he died a terrible death.”
Jiang Xunzhi, an untouchable minefield between Cheng Mi and Li Chu.
Jiang Xunzhi was Li Chu’s boyfriend. Those three words were a sword, a sword held by Cheng Mi that she had directly plunged into Li Chu’s heart, leaving it bruised and bleeding.
Cheng Mi couldn’t bear to hear Chen Zhaochi utter that name. She trembled slightly: “You don’t deserve to speak Jiang Xunzhi’s name!”
As she spoke, she raised her leg and directly kicked him between his legs, trying to break free.
Chen Zhaochi had anticipated her reaction, subdued her with one move, and choked her neck, pressing her onto the sofa: “You’re still very skilled at that move.”
“And let me tell you, Cheng Mi, Jiang Xunzhi was killed by you! Even your little sister Li Chu thinks so. Can you live with your conscience?!”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Chen Zhaochi felt a sharp pain in his eyes.
Cheng Mi’s fingertips dug directly into his eyes, and the moment Chen Zhaochi winced in pain, she kicked him away.
She broke free cleanly, rose from the sofa, and looked at him: “It’s not your place to say these things to me. Anyone else, but you, Chen Zhaochi, are not worthy.”
Cheng Mi clearly knew that Chen Zhaochi coming to her today meant he was going to start tormenting her.
She said: “I didn’t come here today to beg you.”
“We’ll settle our scores slowly. Don’t drag Li Chu and others into it.”
Chen Zhaochi, whose eyes were still stinging from her fingers, surprisingly didn’t get angry: “I thought those past lessons would make you smarter. I didn’t expect you to have made no progress at all.”
“Smarter? By kneeling at your feet and begging for mercy?”
Cheng Mi said: “Chen Zhaochi, dream on.”
Chen Zhaochi smiled: “Is that so? I hope you can manage it too.”
His expression turned serious: “Definitely do not kneel and beg me.”
Cheng Mi’s spirit had never bowed, and she had paid a heavy price for it.
Chen Zhaochi smirked at her: “This time, I hope you can hold out.”
________________________________________
After leaving the clear bar, Cheng Mi didn’t go anywhere else but went home.
When she got back, no one was home; Si Tingyan and Si Huiru hadn’t returned yet.
She went to her room, and her composure started to crack at this point.
In dire need of release, Cheng Mi tossed her backpack onto the bed, then walked to the bedside table and found that pack of cigarettes.
This pack of cigarettes had lasted her over a month since she arrived, and there was still more than half left.
She pulled one out, went to the window, held it between her fingers, and slowly let the tobacco fill her body.
Then she slowly exhaled a cloudy puff of smoke.
She thought of the papers she had torn off the alley wall behind the school, got up, and walked from the window to the bed.
She took the papers out of her backpack and used a lighter to burn them one by one.
Outside the window, the red clouds gradually turned dark red.
Everything in the room was plunged into darkness, and flames danced in the ashes.
Cheng Mi sat on the floor, hugging her knees, watching.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when her room door opened.
Cheng Mi couldn’t see anything, but she still looked towards the door.
She knew who it was but didn’t speak.
They remained silent, letting the flames flicker in the air, each sensing the other’s breath and heartbeat.
In the darkness, Si Tingyan spoke.
“You didn’t wait for me today.”
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