Revision Guidelines
Important: By revision, I don't simply mean fixing punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. (though this is all extremely important). Revision really means re-writing: cutting paragraphs, adding new paragraphs, tightening descriptions, re-writing dialogue, fleshing out a scene, and even re-writing the entire story from scratch.
Guidelines for Revising Your Essay:
To revise the essay:
read my "bubble" comments as well as end comments
you'll be graded on whether you fix the mechanical errors I've pointed out
you'll also be responsible for fixing other mechanical errors I didn't note
re-type the story--don't just cut and paste and use the delete key.
note that you don't have to follow every suggestion I make, though you must fix all mechanical errors
if you don't follow one of my suggestions for revision, that's fine, but be prepared to explain why you chose a different route for revision in your reflections on the essay
make sure to include that age you were when you experienced the episode you're writing about
have a strong title that compels the reader to read your piece
run the essay through The Writer's Diet
read your revision out loud before submitting it.
you might try recording the essay then listening to your recording
your essay must be no longer than the original and, preferably, be a bit shorter (try to cut 50-100 words).
*** your essay must have a title
Link to some revision exercises: Revision Exercises
Suggestions for working on the opening of your piece:
Does your current opening grab the reader?
How can you make it even stronger?
Can the piece start later than it does?
Suggestions for working on the ending of your piece.:
Endings are notoriously hard to pull off. You might consider the following:
The image:
End with a powerful image that echoes the theme/s of your essay.
The self-revelation:
End with an insight that writing the essay has given you about yourself
The question:
End with a question that the essay makes you ponder.
In other words, leave the reader with something to think about.
Requirements for Submitting the Revision:
There are TWO components to submitting the revision:
1. The revised personal essay itself
2. Reflection on the revision (approx. half a page--doesn't count towards word count):
a. What are the significant changes you made to the essay and why?
b. What did you cut and why?
c. Analyze your process. E.g. was revision harder or easier than writing your earlier draft? What did you learn through revising your essay?
d. If you chose not to use any or all of my suggestions (which is fine), explain why you decided to go in a different direction with your essay.
d. Please include your reflection on the revision (put at bottom of your essay) when you post your essay on turnitin.com
Please remember that the essay should:
° Have a title
° Use vivid, concrete, sensory details
° Employ at least THREE senses
° Use dialogue to create a scene
° Have a strong sense of setting
° Have a clear sense of the relationship with the reader
° Must have some sort of conflict
° Demonstrate a personal investment in the topic
° Something changes or is revealed in the essay
° Be honest; don't try to sell yourself to me like you would in a college app. Personal essays are far more compelling when they reveal a person's flaws, uncertainties, misgivings, insecurities, etc.
° Mechanics! Make sure grammar, punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, diction, formatting, etc. is perfect for your final draft.
Length for all of the above: approx. 3 pages (ideally, should be 100 fewer words than previous draft, but not required)
Due: December 8th
***Important: Please post your essay on turnitin.com
*** Please make sure to hand in a copy of the writing contract
Link to writing contract: