Revision of para of "A Real Durwan"

Revision Homework on “A Real Durwan”

Due: Tuesday 10/18 (Wednesday is fine.)

Post: In “Homework” on your personal website.

Part of learning how to write is thinking about the feedback you get and improving your writing as a result. Therefore, it’s essential to read my comments and suggestions. The following exercise is designed to help you improve your writing after reading over my comments.

Please:

1. Read over my comments (both the “thought bubble” comments on the paper itself and the “general” comments).

2. Tell me what one or two areas you need to work on are, based on my comments and any insights you have.

3. Please revise ONE of the paragraphs with my suggestions in my mind. Note that a good revision involves more than simply fixing grammar errors and punctuation or switching around the order of a couple sentences. Often, a revision includes re-worked ideas that, in turn, change the whole composition of the paragraph.

Note: Please post this in the “homework” section of your personal website.