Crafted by the esteemed author Mr. Borys Aleksander Manikowski and the renowned wordsmith Mr. Jackson Young
Prologue:
After Mcdonald’s absolute calamity being the bestie bundle, the global conglomerate has decided to venture onto the path of redemption through the introduction of the Grinch Meal. Closing the light on the bestie bundle to put the spotlight on something new and exciting. We had very little hopes in trying this meal through the absolute abysmal performance of the bestie bundle a few weeks prior having viewed the most abhorrent display of incompetence and attitude from the workers. Unfortunately the bestie bundle did not make up for this experience of tardy workers and was the most basic food I've ever consumed to the point where I thought I would be more excited with a plate of boiled potatoes than the bestie bundle. However with this said, the bracelets were a very nice touch in gaining a social aspect however this was lost on us we have no friends. Luckily for us the grinch meal does not encourage friendship and instead encourages christmas spirit by incorporating the most iconic christmas character the Grinch.
Chapter 1: The Good
I have never seen such a display of kindness stemming from the workers on this specific day. The number for my order was not shouted out in a mighty sigh built from rage and fury and instead spoken in the most moody monotone voice ever. Clearly McDonalds has employed some happier people since our last visit. As I made my way up to the counter to get my meal a truly spectacular occurrence happened. The worker managed to murmur a “enjoy” without a sarcastic eye roll. Needless to say, I was speechless. This meal had already exceeded any expectations that I had for it merely on the amount of human compassion delivered by the workers. Is this a step forward in the future of McDonalds, finally connecting the employee to the customer. OF COURSE IT WASN'T. The big mac that had come with the meal looked like someone's foot had been put through it being so condensed and messy. The lettuce had clearly been frowned in the burger with so much power it obliterated the bottom of my burger bun that had become thin and soggy. Surprisingly this was in much better condition than the top bun that looked like someone had sat on top of it. But how did it taste? Bang average I tell you! Nothing christmassy was brought to the table and instead the most basic mcdonalds meal was instead. The fries were fine, nothing to write home about but when adding the pickle shaker seasoning the whole atmosphere changed. The reactors at Chernobyl probably smelt better than these fries and in fact I think probably would've tasted better as well. But the reason this meal had taken my breath away was because of the socks. Grinch socks were the best addition to any meal ever. Coming fresh from an unlicensed sweatshop, these socks feature the 1960s grinch in all its might. These socks were so unbelievably amazing that they sit proudly upon my mantle piece in my living room making a great conversation starter. This is a clear reason why the grinch meal does go down in history as the best meal consumed, especially with the beaming beacon of hope coming from the worker that served me, showing that even in darkness there can be light. Making a triumph to the bestie bundle that was, put simply, poo.
Chapter 2: The Bad
The grinch meal serves as the perfect representation of the socio-political landscape of the world we all currently inhabit in the sense that it is extremely polarised. When writing this review it was easy to find aspects of the experience of getting the meal that would count as good, and those that would count as ugly, but when trying to find something to put right in the middle, it was a real challenge. After long research and thoughtful consideration we have managed to find some aspects we could put in this section. Firstly is the price. The meal costs an untenable $20. This sum of money is completely uncalled for, and underlines the greed of the company one known for its affordability. The workers may as well have had guns with the way they were robbing us. If Mcdonald's really wanted to maintain its position as a friendly, accessible company they should completely revolutionize their pricing strategy, which we are more than willing to help them accomplish if they were to require assistance.
Chapter 3: The Ugly
The unfortunate reality of the meal is that Mcdonald’s has once again completely extirpated any sense of joy from the unboxing experience. The main premise of getting the meal are naturally the grinch socks, a symbol of status, and belonging in a world where we feel so isolated. Indeed, with their unmatched design, and unparalleled craftsmanship Mcdonald’s have made the socks not only an emblem of hope in a world of unrealistic deadlines and expectations, but they have transformed it into an allegory of luxury, and contentment. Unfortunately, as much as it pains me to say, there is a glaring issue with the product, the packaging. It seems that the executives at Mcdonald’s haven’t read our review of the bestie bundle, and thus haven’t changed their ways. While the packaging for the entire box was fairly decent, green and festive, the socks came in a poorly made, clear plastic bag, making me feel like I was buying magic mushrooms from the guy on the street rather than something truly special. It is clear that while being the pinnacle of food creation, the restaurant of Mcdonald’s has lost its way when it comes to the presentation of their products, and opted to provide a design so offensively banal it feels like a betrayal to those who came before us, and a shameful thing to leave for those who come after us. Thus, after analysing the aspects of the quintessence of the topic, I have come to the fundamental conclusion that once again, corners have been cut, in a manner so grievous it is borderline infuriating. I’d like to end this segment with a message to Mcdonald’s Corporation: Thank you for always providing a welcoming place to stay, especially in times of darkness such as those we live in now. We would just ask you to improve your packaging, such that the unboxing of the bundle will become a truly surreal experience, matching its taste. If you ever need any assistance with that, you know where to find us.