"Shoulds"

Written by Avallon Leopold, 11/20/2024

“I really shouldn’t take a break…I should have studied more for that Math test…I should do more exercise … I really should respond to that message…” Sound familiar? We way too often use shoulda woulda coulda in our vocabulary, but it actually increases stress more than we are aware. When we inflict pressure onto ourselves by using language that implies judgment (should/shouldn’t/can’t…etc) we are less likely to enjoy that experience. Here are some of my fave replacements to help with this. 

“I should respond” —->I would like to respond 

“I shouldn’t take a break”—->“It is healthy to take breaks/I deserve to take a break” 

“ I should do more Yoga”—->”I get to move my body and feel good” 

“I could have done better”—->“I learned a lot from that assessment” / “I see opportunities to improve”

“I can’t focus”—->“ I need a second to collect my thoughts” 

Practice practice practice!! Shifting our mindset is like working a muscle or learning a new language. It requires practice, repetition and patience, and will improve slowly over time. Take time to practice how you think about your work, friendships, assessments and notice if this helps your wellbeing!