An Ode to Lana del Rey

Written by Mr. Jackson Young and Mr. Borys Manikowski, 03/04/2025

An Ode to Lana del Rey

Meticulously crafted by the unrivaled, unparalleled, and supreme journalists, truth-revealers, and feminists Mr. Borys Alexander Manikowski and Mr. Jackson Young

“This is what makes us girls

 We don’t stick together ’cause we put our love first” 

- Lana Del Rey, 

From:This Is What Makes Us Girls

Prolusion:

To address the recent rumors that have been circulating, yes, Borys and Jackson are the top 0.001% listeners of Lana Del Ray on Spotify and we are proud of that, as well as being regular attendees at many feminist rallies where we fight against short, balding misogynists. We want to take this platform in the most powerful, influential news industry in a mile radius and enlighten the masses about our favourite woman and star of this stand article, what a huge honour and achievement it is for her. A lot of Del Rey's popularity as a singer stems from her “sad girl persona.” She writes about the troubles in her life and creates an environment for listeners to relate and understand what women may go through in toxic relationships and stereotypical feminine standards set by society. So naturally, Jackson and Borys completely relate to her and she inspires us to share our thoughts on her song “video games”.

Chapter 1: The Good

‘Video Games’ made Jackson and Borys cry on the first listen, and they never cry. The only other time they have cried was when listening to Driver's License by Olivia Rodrigo, our queen!  Video Games by Lana del Rey could even transition nob heads like Andrew Tate into the realm of feminism. There aren’t many people with enough sheer greatness to transcend the human realm, and ascend into the land of unrivaled greatness. People with such immeasurable prowess in what they are doing that the world trembles before them like Max French when he is talking to a woman. The only person  that matches that description is Lana Del Rey. Having listened to all her songs, and enjoyed every second of it, we can say beyond peradventure that she is her. She is the reason bleak days turn into busy hours. This being said, “Videogames” is a monumental work.

Chapter 2: The Bad

The only issue with Lana Del Rey is her man. When Borys and Jackson found out about the alligator monster (see Fig.1), they nearly died. They say you die twice, once when you die, and the other when someone mentions your name for the last time. After seeing Jeremy Dufrene, Borys and Jackson realised that was false. In fact, you die three times, when you die, when you are forgotten, and when you see something so exceedingly  atrocious you change forever. The moment Borys and Jackson found out about Lana’s husband, they did change. Additionally, another bad thing is that the song videogames ends, Borys and Jackson hate when the song ends. They feel like they're floating on a cloud when listening to the song, and the moment it ends, they fall. 

Chapter 3: The Ugly 

The only thing ugly was seeing Max French ugly crying to “Videogames” at a social event surrounded by hundreds of people. Many laughed, however Borys and Jackson cried a tear of admiration, what a truly brave man he is to be dominated by his emotions. Also nothing is more ugly than Lana del Rey’s man, she deserves better.

Figure 1 - Lana’s alligator man