Stamford's friendly team ski downhill

Post date: Feb 5, 2018 10:58:47 PM

THERE WE WENT AGAIN! Down that old familiar slippery slope. Now so familiar it has been officially named the ‘Stamford Slope’. So back to the beginning, this was the second leg of the infamous, highly prestigious Welland Silver Salver Challenge match at Spalding. It was the old story, we started off ok, Terri Handley on rink two put her first wood one foot from the jack on the first end, we were only two down at the half way stage and then whoosh, off we go, as if under a pre-arranged agreement, out of control nineteen down on the fourteenth end. How any of our players who had dared to look at the overall scoreboard felt, God only knows. For our, in a previous life, frustrated ‘hack’ taking notes on the back of a Woodbine packet it had gone out of control to the point of no return and he decided to go outside for a fag, and to get warm as the heating inside had been off for three days. The heating engineer will be on site tomorrow it said on the notice board. Unfortunately when our ‘hack’ got outside he remembered he had packed up smoking fourteen years ago and dashed back in to find that we were even further behind. We move swiftly on to the penultimate end and looking through tear filled eyes at the blurry scoreboard at the other end of the rinks we notice we actually had a winning rink, impossible one hears the cry from the galleries (oh yes we have) and one that’s drawing. The favourite has got to be the rink skipped by Arthur (lap dancer) Lonslow. Have you seen his conversational gyrations with every wood that’s bowled? Mind boggling!

Arthur and his trusty four were six up with the last end to play. He with the fag packet had lined up the photographer to take their photo, the prize as well as a packet of Smartie type sweets; well they looked like Smartie type sweets, for our best winning rink. Nigel Trigg the skip of the drawing rink came off the rink first having scored one on the last end to also be a winning rink. He was told, again by the fellow with the fag packet (who the hell let him in ?) that they were to be pipped at the post by young Arthur because they were six in front and there was no way they could drop six on the last end, want to bet? They did! Nigel (the revolver) Trigg put his gun back in its holster and replaced it with a broad smile.