Episode 250: how to get out of the mental sewer cycle

How to get out of the mental sewere cycle - episode 250

In this episode, I celebrate reaching episode 250 and explore something we all experience at times: getting stuck in what The Confident Mind calls the “sewer cycle.” After a stressful moment related to my church calling, I found myself spiraling into negative thoughts and worry. As I reflected on the experience, I realized how important it is to recognize when we’re in that mental cycle and have tools ready to help us get back out. Drawing on ideas from The Confident Mind, Atomic Habits, and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I share practical ways we can shift our thinking, refocus our energy, and move toward a more constructive mindset.

Show Notes: Hi Friends! I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. Below are all the references.

Celebrating Episode 250

Reaching episode 250 made me pause and celebrate for a moment. When I think back to hitting episode 50 or 100, it’s amazing to see how far this podcast journey has come. Even though today’s episode isn’t a big celebration episode, I wanted to acknowledge the milestone and express gratitude for everyone who continues to listen each week.

Recognizing the Sewer Cycle

The sewer cycle begins when something triggers negative thoughts. For me, it started with a mistake related to my calling as a stake Relief Society president and the worry that I might have affected other people.

That moment triggered a flood of thoughts like:

“I’m not good at this.”
“I shouldn’t be in charge.”
“This is too much responsibility.”
“I should have delegated this.”

Before long, I found myself spiraling — complaining, worrying, and looking back longingly at easier roles I had before.

Recognizing this spiral is the first step toward changing it.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

One of the key ideas from The Confident Mind is that we are constantly telling ourselves stories.

Those stories can either:

Build our confidence
Or tear it down

When I tell myself, “I’m not good at leading” or “I always mess this up,” those thoughts affect how I show up and perform. Our thoughts influence our emotions, our physical state, and ultimately our actions.

The question becomes:
What stories am I telling myself, and do I dare to change them?

The Sewer Cycle vs. the Success Cycle

Dr. Nate Zinsser explains that our minds tend to operate in one of two cycles:

The Sewer Cycle

Worrisome thoughts
Self-doubt
Negative assumptions
Emotional discouragement

The Success Cycle

Constructive thoughts
Encouragement
Curiosity
Confidence and energy

Both cycles are fueled by a flood of thoughts — but the quality of those thoughts makes all the difference.

A helpful question to ask is:
What percentage of my thoughts are personally affirmative and emotionally supportive?

Step 1: Change the Story

One of the most powerful tools is recognizing that we can change our thoughts. Instead of reinforcing discouraging beliefs, we can begin building affirming ones.

This is where affirmations can help.

According to The Confident Mind, effective affirmations should be:

Personal
Positive
Focused on what you want more of

For example, instead of telling myself:
“I’m not good at delegating,”

I could say:
“I delegate effectively to bless the sisters in my stake.”

Over time, those thoughts begin to shape reality.

Step 2: Focus on Your Circle of Influence

Stephen Covey reminds us that proactive people focus on what they can control.

In my situation, I asked myself:

What can I actually do right now?
What actions are within my control?

That meant:

Writing an email to correct the mistake
Reaching out for feedback
Stopping the spiral of complaining

When we act within our circle of influence, our energy becomes positive and constructive.

Step 3: Change Your Environment

From Atomic Habits, I’ve learned that environment plays a huge role in shaping our thoughts and behaviors.

Sometimes we need to adjust our surroundings to support healthier thinking. For example:

Limiting social media if it leads to comparison
Creating visual reminders of goals
Surrounding ourselves with uplifting inputs

Small environmental shifts can interrupt negative thought patterns.

Step 4: Use Your Body to Help Your Mind

The mind-body connection works both ways. Our thoughts influence our bodies, but our physical actions can also help reset our minds.

Things that can help shift our mental state include:

Exercise or movement
Going for a walk
Listening to music
Driving or getting outside
Sitting near water
Talking with a friend
Saying a prayer

Sometimes emotions need movement in order to move through us.

Build Your “Emergency Kit”

One idea I love is creating a kind of mental emergency kit for moments when we feel ourselves slipping into the sewer cycle.

Your kit might include:

Personal affirmations
A playlist that lifts your mood
A friend you can call
A walk or workout
Prayer or scripture
Changing your environment
Refocusing on what you can control

Having those tools ready makes it easier to recover more quickly.

Final Reflection

We all fall into the sewer cycle sometimes. The goal isn’t to eliminate those moments completely, but to become better at recognizing them and climbing back out.

By paying attention to our thoughts, focusing on what we can control, and using tools that help shift our mindset, we can move back toward the success cycle — where our thoughts are more personally affirmative and emotionally supportive.