Episode 247 : Black is the new pink for valentine's day
Episode 247 : Black is the new pink for valentine's day
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Black is the new pink for valentine's day - episode 247
Black is the new pink for valentine's day - episode 247
In this episode, I share the story of how Valentine’s Day — a holiday I once protested by wearing all black — became one of the most meaningful days of my life. What started as a cynical college stance in 1995 turned into the beginning of my relationship with Nate. From minute rice and soy sauce to a late-night first kiss, I reflect on how perspective can change everything. I also explore how Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance alone — it can be a powerful invitation to deepen friendships, express appreciation, and strengthen the bonds that literally improve our health.
Show Notes: Hi Friends! I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. Below are all the references.
A Valentine’s Day in Black (1995)
A Valentine’s Day in Black (1995)
Wearing all black in “protest” of Valentine’s Day
Walking to the post office for my passport
College a cappella rehearsals and dorm life
Minute rice and soy sauce for dinner
A late-night three-hour conversation
Our first official kiss
How “Black is the new pink” became a family joke
What I love most about this memory is how something I had dismissed became the start of my own little family story.
Rethinking Valentine’s Day
Rethinking Valentine’s Day
It’s easy to grow cynical about Valentine’s Day — especially if you’re not in a romantic relationship. But I’ve come to see it as something broader: an opportunity to intentionally express love and appreciation to the people in our lives.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to mean:
Expensive gifts
Romantic pressure
Comparison
It can mean:
Writing a note
Saying “I love you” more often
Gathering friends
Expressing gratitude
Deepening connection
The Science of Connection
The Science of Connection
In preparing for this episode, I read about the role of oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone.”
Oxytocin:
Is released through physical touch (like hugging)
Promotes bonding and trust
Reduces stress
Increases feelings of connection
Can even be released through group singing
I loved learning that singing together — something I experienced in college choirs and a cappella groups — can trigger this bonding hormone. Those moments of harmonizing weren’t just beautiful; they were physiologically bonding us together
As one article put it:
When you saw baby Grogu (Baby Yoda) and felt an overwhelming urge to protect him — that was oxytocin at work.
Connection is not just sentimental — it’s biological.
Why Expression Matters
Why Expression Matters
I also share the story of a teenage boy who, after worrying about his family while they were away, began a nightly habit of telling his dad he loved him. He continued that tradition for years.
It reminded me:
We shouldn’t assume people know how we feel
Words matter
Saying “I love you” out loud is powerful
Love should be expressed, not just implied
Traditions & Ideas
Wear black if you’re “protesting” — you never know what might happen 😉
Write simple notes
Host a Galentine gathering
Share a small family tradition
Use February as a month to reconnect with friends
Hug someone
Sing together
Just say “I love you” more often
Invitation
Invitation
This Valentine’s Day, I invite you to move beyond cynicism and choose connection. Whether you’re single, married, young, older — we all need bonds, and we all benefit from expressing love.
Connection strengthens our hearts emotionally and physically. It reduces stress. It builds trust. It deepens relationships.
And sometimes, it even starts a family.
Happy Valentine’s Day. I truly love and appreciate you for listening each week.
Sources & Further Reading
Research on oxytocin and bonding (Arizona State University study on hugs and stress reduction)
Studies on oxytocin release during group singing - link to Ep. 211
transcript
transcript
I am Camille Johnson, and this is Finding the Floor.
Stories and reflections of midlife motherhood, family, and finding meaning in it all.
Join me as I share a little piece of my life and figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Hey friends, welcome to Finding the Four.
And today I'm calling this episode Making Friends with Valentine's Day or wearing black.
So today I'm going to share one story of how I came to love Valentine's Day
Okay, so how is everybody doing?
So it was just so nice to have the sun.
my gosh, there was one day where it was literally 50 degrees here and it was like so amazing.
My little dog was just sitting by the door in like the ray of sunlight coming through.
Because we all just need that sunlight in our lives.
So I think sometimes when you just have it so dang cold, I mean, it was beastly cold here.
So you know you've had a lot of really cold, cold days.
showed us a video of them walking down on the lake.
Anyway, all those fun things about living by Lake Erie.
But anyway, it has just been so nice to have it a little bit warmer.
I cannot even tell you how warm like 40 degrees feels or even 30 degrees.
The other thing that I did for the first time this week was I went to a hot yoga class.
I would have to say I've very rarely gone to like an organized exercise class.
I did a little bit in college because it was like free.
But I have a online membership to body.
But a friend of mine said, hey, the first visit's free.
I've done yoga before, but never hot yoga.
And I was kind of rushing to get there.
And so I get in the room and it's like,
And at first I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I'm not even going to be able to breathe.
But then it was just so like relaxing.
And so you really weren't worried about anyone else or how you looked.
But I was just like dripping sweat.
And they put like a cold washcloth on your forehead.
And I audibly gasped because I was like, my eyes were closed and I wasn't expecting it.
good to have this cold washcloth after you've worked so hard and you're just sweating.
And then, oh, that was just, it was really nice.
I don't know if I'll go back because
I really enjoyed it, but it's also quite expensive.
If I didn't also pay for another membership, I might think about it.
But anyway, I really liked it.
I mean, I was friends with guys, but it just didn't seem like
And so I'm into, you know, I've had my freshman year.
And so my sophomore, I've decided I am just going to be in protest of this day.
So I decided I was going to wear all black.
So I'm in like a black turtleneck and black jeans.
It's Valentine's Day and I am in protest.
So backstory to some of this like relationship.
I met Nate my freshman year in an acapella group at Boston College.
And then we were also in a choir.
But our freshman year, I feel like Nate was like friends with all the cool seniors.
Somehow he just like got to be friends with these cool seniors.
I just wasn't that cool girl, let's just say.
And anyway, so that's why sometimes I'm surprised that Nate even found me cool or whatever.
But so I didn't, we weren't like super close our freshman year.
And especially like me and Nate and then these two other guys, we would like hang out all the time.
And a few other guys, but there was just a group that we would hang out a lot.
And we'd always be at practice together and meet up at the dining hall.
So that year, I got to be way better friends with Nate.
And so we just would do a lot together as a group.
And so this particular day, and I don't even know if I realized he liked me.
There was a party the weekend before and seeing him and being like, I like this guy.
I mean, we're friends, but I was thinking maybe I could like him for more.
Valentine's Day, comes around, I'm wearing all black, and I'm like telling him I'm in protest.
And he's like, yeah, let's protest Valentine's Day.
And it was like I had to get it that day or I wouldn't be able to go.
It was about 20 minute walk from campus and apparently Nate had nothing to do.
So he comes with me and I get this picture.
So we just had a fun time walking to the post office and back.
And then I remember it was a Thursday because we had rehearsal.
And that was like Thursday was when everyone got together.
Because we're in college, you know, and we don't have like fancy things.
have that and we go then to rehearsal.
And so we had planned a little girls night out.
And so we went out together and then I came home and Nate was already doing something with friends.
And I was kind of feeling a little sick, so I was just staying home.
Anyway, he comes over later that night to check on me, and we end up talking for like 3 hours.
So we end up talking for a while.
I want to say three or more hours.
And when he leaves, he kisses me, and I like kiss him back for the first time.
And anyway, so that's the beginning of our relationship.
And I just think it's funny how I was in protest and he was all about me being in protest.
But yeah, I was hanging out with him all day.
And it's good for your health to have friends, right?
And it's good for your health to share deep feelings.
and you can foster connections with people.
And the one thing it talks about a lot was the release of oxytocin.
And so that is also known as the love hormone or the connection hormone.
And that hormone can just help us feel better.
And he was just saying that just giving someone a hug
can help them then make it through the rest of their day.
And it may not change anything about your day, but that hug
And it makes you then more able to handle the situation better.
making connections with friends.
And it was just the amazing acoustics.
And somehow that could just releases that oxytocin, which helps reduce stress and also helps you
And so I also felt that when we would do these super
And it's just like a really cool thing that like our body releases.
And the other thing this article said was it also promotes trust.
generosity and stress reduction as well.
So that kind of felt weird, but it's actually okay to share
and express the love that you have for the people in your life.
And it's actually going to help you feel better.
So are there traditions you've started as a family that you do on Valentine's Day?
I know I usually joke with my kids, Kay, are you wearing your black today?
My mom would sometimes give us all a small gift on Valentine's Day,
but it didn't happen regularly.
Because it is amazing how important those bonds and connections are in our lives.
build and deepen relationships and connections in our lives.
Okay, so it's going to be, I guess, a little bit of a shorter episode today.
And so I do have one more book that I'm going to talk about next week.
And it is kind of one of my favorites that I was like, oh, we need to rethink about this book again.
But again, just remind you all that let's be lovey-dovey about Valentine's Day.
So he started every evening before he went to bed.
And then he just kept up that tradition all throughout high school.
And even now, he kind of makes sure he tells the people in his life that he loves them.
And sometimes I think people are afraid to
And don't be afraid to just say, I love you.
So happy Valentine's, everybody.
I sure love you guys for listening to me every week.
So I hope you have a good week and find ways to express love for the people
that make your life a blessing.
Okay guys, have an awesome week and I'll talk to you next week.
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
Special thanks to Seth Johnson for creating and performing the theme music.
Come back next week and thanks for listening.
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