What I learned:  That making choices is very important to happiness.  We need to make choices for ourselves as it is the "ultimate expression of free will" according to Dan Baker, PhD. from his book written with Cameron Stauthm, What Happy People Know.   Sadly we also can see how it can be harmful when people make choices that hurt others and wonder why God allows bad things to happen to good and innocent people.  But as I read from this book I realize how important our ability to choose is for us, whether that is good of bad.   I share the story of Kate, who would not stop banging until she saw that she had more choices and reasons to stop banging.  

“Everyone has possibilities.  Everyone.  And choosing among them is the feast of our human existence.”  (120)

Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology “believed that having options and making choices is the very foundation of human psychological health.”

“When we feel as if we’ve exhausted all our possibilities and are left with no viable choices, then our suffering really starts.” (121)

Then also in this chapter from this book I share about learned helplessness.  That sometimes we can feel so stressed from our circumstances that we don't see that we have any choices.  The willingness to find your choices or to flex your proactive muscles (as Steven R. Covey would say) can help you be more happy.  I also shared his (Dr. Baker's) thoughts about  Victor Frankl and he power of perception as well as the quarter second.  We all have a quarter second before we respond and we can choose how we want to respond within that time.  

“The act of making important choices can be far more than just satisfying.  It can literally be enlightening.  This occurs when someone achieves a moment of ultimate understanding of his or her heart, soul and self.  This moment is so electrifying that it is generally described with a religious term: epiphany.”  (131)

“There is an almost mystical power in the relatively simple act of suspending worry and engaging choice.” (132)

“Be brave enough to resist when someone else wants to steal your right to make your own decisions.  If you follow the voice of your heart, you’ll probably make the right decision.  And even if you’re wrong, you’ll learn something.”  (124)

Much luck making all of your choices.