Episode 88: Why we complain and a few ways to stop
Episode 88: Why we complain and a few ways to stop
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why we complain and a few ways to stop - Episode 88
why we complain and a few ways to stop - Episode 88
“If something can be changed, work to change it. If it cannot, why worry, be upset, and complain?” Complaining has been especially easy this past two years with all of the hard things that have been happening in the world. (I mean gas prices lately, ugh?!?!) In this episode I take a look at the why behind the complaining. Then explore a little bit of what that says about us. I will also talk about the detrimental effects of complaining on ourselves and others. Finally I share a few ideas of what we can do to decrease our complaining.
Show Notes: Hi Friends! I hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. Below are all the references.
Hey all - it was sure fascinating to dive into the whys of complaining. Here are a few things that I learned as well as the articles from which I got my information.
Complaining usually starts because of something that feels a bit out of our control and a way for us to vent.
We might also complain to seek validation, to ask for help, to get a different perspective and to get things done.
We could also complain due to ego validation and pride. We think we know better.
Our brains have this negativity bias which makes it easier to find the things that are going wrong and concentrate on that.
Complaining can be good in small doses but can become detrimental when it becomes a regular habit. We can start to look at things in a more pessimistic light. It can fuel anger in us. Complaining can also drain our friends and family if we are constantly doing it and can begin to hamper relationships.
A few ways to help us stop complaining -
Journaling or thought downloads - instead of sharing our complaints with others put them down on paper
Taking action - looking for solutions. Being concerned with solving the problem.
Remaining grateful - use a gratitude journal or simply write down a few things you are grateful for each day on your phone.
Cultivate optimism - trying to replace some of your regular thoughts with more positive ones. For example - Oh man the gas prices are so high this is the worst. You could instead think - ok wow gas prices are high but I remember this happened before and I got through it then and I am sure I will be able to get through this as well.
Service to others - when we are complaining we may be too focused on ourselves and our problems. Taking time to help another person can help us gain some needed perspective.
Prayer - Just like Moses ask God when the Israelites were in the wilderness we too can supplicate our Heavenly Father for comfort and direction to help us with our complaints.
It is so easy to complain and I know I sure need to continually work on this. I hope this all helps. Below are the link to the sources of my information.
An email I got from Gary Chapman who wrote the 5 love languages book
Did you know that what you complain about—out loud or in your head—can be very telling about your primary love language?
Our complaints reveal what matters most to us.
If you complain that your friends or family don’t have time for you during football season, then your love language is likely Quality Time. If you grumble that all your friends forgot your birthday because only one gave you a gift, then your language is likely Receiving Gifts. If you complain that your spouse is always buying you gifts, but rarely hugs or embraces you, then we can theorize that Receiving Gifts is their language and Physical Touch is yours.
Our complaints reveal our deep emotional hurts.
The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language. What do those closest to you do or say—or fail to do or say—that hurt you deeply?
If, for example, the critical, judgmental words of your loved one(s) cause you the deepest pain, then your primary love language may be Words of Affirmation. Wounds in your native tongue really sting. If you were to receive love in that language, then the hurt would lessen, and you would feel appreciated and loved.
So, if you haven’t done so, start paying attention to your own complaints, as well as the complaints of others. By doing so, you may gain some interesting insights for giving and receiving love.
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