What I learned this way:   This was a very relevant topic for me this week as I starting working as a substitute teacher and had a big fail in my first assignment in a kindergarten class.  In The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser, he says that despite mistakes we can still filter them to keep and protect our confidence.  In this episode I talked about the 3 safeguards that are mentioned in the book. 

Safeguard #1:  The constructive Attitude lockdown: How to think about errors, mistakes and setbacks.   So you first think about your mistakes as temporary, limited and non representational of who you are.  

“When you treat your mistakes and imperfections as limited in scope, you acknowledge them and then cordon them off, leaving them locked down in the single place where they occurred.” “Combine treating your mistakes and imperfections as limited with treating your mistakes and imperfections as temporary, and you have a powerful one-two psychological punch - the mistake only happened that one time, and it only happened in the one specific situation - so you have every reason to take on your next task as work” First victory Won 

I especially like the idea of thinking of mistake as  - that's not me.  

Now this “doesn’t mean avoiding an honest look at yourself and realizing that you might need to put in  some more practice or learn some new skills.  It does mean, first and foremost, that you maintain and sense of your fundamental value as a person and then add to that the acceptance of whatever level of competency you’ve developed through your practice and study."

Safeguard #2 : Safeguard #2 The last word: How to win the battle with your own negative thinking. 

So with this safeguard - Dr. Zinsser recognizes that we all will have to fight the battle of negative thoughts our whole life and to just expect them to come.  But he gives a 3 steps to help us stop them in their track.  First step - Acknowledge them.   Be aware when you first start hearing the negative thoughts come in your mind.  Second step - Silence them.  After you acknowledge them then you say to your mind, with a  “determined internal tone of voice,”  Stop it!  Third and final step is to replace the thought.  Using thoughts from your top 10 list or from your daily ESP or IPR.  All of them can help you get back on track.  

 “The internal enemies of doubt, fear, and insecurity can never be ultimately defeated; they are just aspects of the human conditions that no one ultimately escapes from.  

Acknowledge, stop and replace - again and again. "

Safeguard #3:  The Shooters Mentality: How to GAIN confidence when bad things happen.

 "The first of the two habits is the tendency to think that any mistake or setback is actually bringing you closer to success rather than keeping you away from it.  The second habit is the tendency to think that once any success is achieved it will continue and will make other successes possible. 

I loved this idea that you can view your mistakes in a way that it is getting you closer to a success.  He mentioned people like, Thomas Edison, Stephen Curry and Tiger Woods.  With this safeguard you can remain more upbeat and keep working rather than getting super discouraged.  

So shooter’s mentality - misses just make hits more likely, while hits make more hits more likely.  “And this is not logical, but it contributes to that all-important sense of certainty at the moment of truth and certainty will always give you the best chance of succeeding.”

“When you operate from that sense of certainty, your natural talent and your training in skills and your accumulated experience all combine to bring forward the best in you at that moment.”

So you need to engage all of the safeguards .  “Treat all the external setbacks as temporary, limited and nonrepresentative.  Choose to get in the last word with your negative thoughts and you can choose to embrace your own version of the shooter’s mentality to gain confidence even while making mistakes.” 

(All this from Chapter 5 of the Book "Protecting your confidence everyday, no matter what")