What I learned:  It really was good to dive into this book.  An oldie but a goodie - I don't have to make everything all better by Gary B. and Joy Saunders Lundberg.   In this book the Lundberg's cover six principles that can help us as we learn to let go of trying to solve problems.  The first two principles for this week are as follows:

Prinicple 1:  Be an effective validator 

"The problem is we confuse power and desire.  We have the desire to help but we don’t have the power to make it all better. "

Validation defined “ … the act, process, or instance of confirming or corroborating the meaningfulness and relevance of what another person (or self) is feeling.  To put it more simply, it is being able to empathically listen and understand another person’s point of view without having to change it.” (p19)

Every person has the universal need inside of themselves that “I AM OF WORTH, MY FEELINGS MATTER, AND SOMEONE REALLY CARES ABOUT ME.” 

"To be a validator you don't have to change any of you values but can still validate someone even if you don't agree. "

Prinicple 2:  Leave the responsibility where it belongs.  

This is the chapter where is makes the metaphor of a doctor who deals with a broken bone.  The doctor does not actually make it all better.  You body has to take time to heal.  But the doctor is able to offer his help by setting the bone and putting it in a cast.  Then you need to stay off the limb, rest and let your body heal.   So the doctor helps but s/he does not make it all better. 

“Burdens are lifted when help is given; however, this does not make the problem all better.  Each person must face the problem squarely and deal with the event and its losses.  Only the person can heal himself” (p30)

There is a part where he mentions a lot of time how people would like to give away their problems like a hot potato because many times they don't know what to do, but you can offer specific help and still have the responsibility remain with them.  

Lots of things to think about and practice.