Episode 24: Expectations - learning from Dantzel Nelson
expectations - learning from Dantzel nelson - Episode 24
“When I married him, I didn’t expect much, so I was never disappointed.” When Camille read this quote from Dantzel Nelson she just could not understand how this could even be. How can you not have expectations? It took her awhile to realize that letting go of expectations can truly help with your happiness. In this episode she shares her experience first reading this quote and then trying to grapple with the idea slowly. She tells a few ideas, such as the invitation and the manual to help get a better understanding of how expectations affect how we see and treat others. Come listen as Camille tells us how she has found ways to let go of her expectations.
Show Notes:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2001/08/identity-priority-and-blessings?lang=eng
When people have asked her how she managed with 10 children with so little time available from her husband, she has responded with a twinkle in her eye, saying, “When I married him, I didn’t expect much, so I was never disappointed.”
By Vince Fabra
"Let’s recognize the difference between the two wedding invitation examples. How many times have we harbored hurt feelings because we didn’t get what we expected? How often do we unconsciously develop a sense that we deserve something? Why do we create expectations without first entering into an agreement?
Agreement -> Expectation -> Satisfaction/Disappointment
No Agreement -> Expectation -> Entitlementt
By Jody Moore
"As soon as we tie our happiness to someone else’s behavior, we have rendered ourselves powerless. That’s essentially what we’re doing when we have a manual for someone."
with Liz Milani
"When we release people from our expectations, we can see them for who they really are. When we release ourselves from the expectations of others (and often ourselves, too), we can make peace with who we really are. When we release situations and circumstances from our expectations, we can see what’s really going on."
by Paige Oldham
"Unmet expectations often lead to the full range of negative emotions: anger, fear, disappointment, jealousy, annoyance, bitterness, resentment, envy and insecurities.
Unmet expectations about the past create regret, grief, sorrow, shame and sadness.
Projected unmet expectations about the future create depression, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, impatience and hopelessness.
If you didn’t have expectations, you would simply take things as they came and deal with them. Your judgment of things would be more objective because you wouldn’t be comparing people and experiences to your expectations of them.
Without expectations, acceptance of what is would be infinitely easier. And you would be happier."
By Christine Hassler
"Please do not confuse having realistic expectations with lowering your standards, settling for “average,” accepting poor performances, or letting people walk all over you. Just make room for the variety of life which includes bad days, bad moods, and unexpected curveballs.”
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