Once you have their money ... never give it back.
2. Pay a deceptively high amound, with cheeky comments.
3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
11. Make Greed Mischievious.
12. get credit for bloated tiny little deeds from YOUR "somewhat important" underlings.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14. Anything tantalizing is worth pursueing... until something life-threatening occurs
15. Mates only deserve an occasional favor.
16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
20. Get them through intricate warrenties and upgrades.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23. Nothing is more important than your health--except for your money.
24. Nothing is more aggravating than a last-minute bidder.
25. Save up your favors and plans.
26. Stealing should only eb done occasionally.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28. Never say "I could never quite manage the Helm Controls, and I'm sick and tired
of replacing Plasma Injecters"
29. Try and be nice, then bail on them at the last minute.
30. Adjust with the Times, or fade away.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
32. It's easier to beg forgiveness than to seek permission.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
36. Ensure Balance of Power, and remain ambiguous.
37. Try to appear helpful in a crisis.
38. Watch, and Learn.
39. take advantage of others' experiments, but seldom experiment on your own.
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
42. Always beware of anything said by a person with a smile.
43. Friends come and go, your Database is Forever.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45. Expand, or die.
46. Endeavoring isn't good in too many exotic parts.
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
49. Females and finance don't mix.
50.Spread the Blame.
51. Fame is Fleeting, Investing and Pooling is forever.
52. Never ask when you can take.
53. Never take when you can extort.
54. Never get your lobes mixed up.
55. What's immortal are unique strategic buys, and carefully horded wealth.
56. Holidays are only good weeks before they occur.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
61. The greatest evil lies in carelessness, unless you pass this on to others.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63. Cope with the small losses, but in desperate times, anything goes!
64. Take advantage of what is going on with the buyer.
65. Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
75. Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77. It never pays to get up early.
78. Doing an extravagant dance distracts them while you take their money.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
80. No deal can be made with anyone in a moving asteroid.
81. Idyllic trees hide deadly predators.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
83. Break the details slowly, and embellish.
84. Note certain locations and items,and discern their position in teh Great Material Continuum.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
86. Regret that you have but one life to give for your profits.
87. If you have useless relatives, give them menial work and divert blame to them.
88. Don't anger the customer unless you can coax a little more out of them.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
90. Distort the price of antique collectibles, especially if the customer is really nostalgic.
91. Share and share alike, but not my stuff.
92. Seize the Moment.
93. If a product doesn't work, change the name, and some of the jingle, and try again.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
95. Seem reasonable... at first.
96. You can bring a Rilan to water, but you can't make him drink.
97. Enough ... is never enough.
98. Every man has his price. (DS9 season 6, episode 19 - "In the Pale Moonlight")
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
100. Keep everything small and managable.
101. Advanced News and Good Acting make for quite the Sage.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103. Sleep can interfere with profit. (DS9 season 2, episode 7 - "Rules of Acquisition")
104. Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
105. It's easier to Alleve pain than to cure the Disease.
106. There is no honour in poverty.
107. Fib, and then toss in Truth and semeingly True Lies
108. Remember past acquisitions fondly, and let them be the Gateway to the Future
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110. Unwanted things are for sale.
111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
117. You can't free a fish from water.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. (DS9 season 7, episode 8 - "The Siege of AR-558")
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
168. Whisper your way to success. (DS9 season 7, episode 9 - "Covenant")
177. Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
178. When the Flumokian scares you, Rescind #70-#80 to give 'em the Grape Wine.
179. Prison may be worth 32 bars, but NOT 600.
180. Maniacs should only be brought out when Negotitions go sour.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
192. Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door.
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211. Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy fate.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242. More is good ... all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286. [Quark's rule] When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Rules Without a Known Number
• Exploitation begins at home.
Searchtags: Ferengi, "Rules of Acquisition", Metal-Grape Mcrophone Stands