33. What DMT Feels Like
What DMT Feels Like | Immersive Experience - ( Trip Report | DMT Sounds | Real Breakthrough )
29 Aug 2019
I fell back into the soft cushions as the tendrils of light filled my vision and I closed my eyes. Almost immediately I felt aware of every cell in my body, the symphony of their existence buzzing with life force and energy. My sense of self rapidly dissolved and with it came a sudden sense of primal fear.
“I’m dying” my mind screamed. “Something’s wrong.”
The gaps between each breath seemed to take an eternity. My mind squirmed and panicked like a fish on a line. But, recognizing this fear of death, this ego death, I took a long deep breath, centered myself and allowed it to all go, to let it slip away into acceptance.
I found myself, my truest self floating in a deep space between time and between worlds. Before me shimmered the most exquisitely complicated spiritual portal. It’s impossible design continuously rearranged itself in new dimensions that made no sense yet were clearly imbued with meaning and design. It’s infinite shifting colors were mechanical yet organic, machine and alive. It was then that I realized that the entire portal was itself a being. A large godlike head made entirely of this light and chaos, a gatekeeper. It was aware of me and as it took a long deep look into my essence, I could sense that it had made its judgement.
I had passed through the portal and found myself falling at breakneck speeds in a space, vast and ancient. The environment shifted in impossible ways with an intricacy beyond description. This world itself was alive and each fractal pixel of this reality was as complete and complex as the next, each door into another space, another world. I knew that I had been there before, that we all have. This was the soil from which all the many worlds, all the many realities, the infinite vast expanse of the multiverse are born. Here is where chaos and order were one, where meaning and meaninglessness wove themselves together and gave birth to existence. This was the subconscious mind of God, the dream space of eternity. Time had no meaning here and twisted upon itself like an infinite labyrinth.
I spent forever in this place. The beings who lived there showed me their inventions. They dissected my personality and fed it back to me, sharing new perspectives, new ideas, new ways of being. It was just when I felt like I had been there forever that the journey back had begun. The return was sudden. First I became aware of my body and the world where I just spent eternity started to slip away, just like a dream. I attempted to hold onto the memories but their strange shapes just wouldn’t fit into a human mind.