First Impressions

https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=24910

The first pull was a very strong taste, maybe singed it a bit and scorched my mouth chemically. better sit up more the next time... holding forever. luminescent spiderwebs, gradually morphing into a pattern like a chrysanthemum, but more geometric, less organic, not very flower like. (old school terminology surfacing in my subconscious?)

Drab colors, olive green and grey against black background slightly spiral pattern. second hit... pattern becomes deeper and morphs from 2d to 3d. diffuse light from the window intruding and distracting a bit. All of a sudden, the pattern shifts away from the light so that I might better see it. I didn't move my eyes, it moved... I follow it internally with my eyes like a moth to a flame. The spirit seemed to be optimizing on my behalf, showing me the way in a cooperative manner to get the most benefit based on my preference and personal wiring I suppose.

It was not an egoistic 'you need to look here' type of thing. it was very gentle and knowing of me on a deep level, it was more of 'hey check this out...' so, the pattern takes on a more pronounced 3d effect and becomes a bit 'brighter' in hue, not as drab. exhaling the 2nd hit, I exclaim out loud to my sitter that it's 'so gorgeous' and give the thumbs up. our signal to vape a 3rd hit and assist me in the inhalation process.

3rd pull inward...holding til I'm about to burst. The pattern takes on a more animated 3d fractal view and becomes a bit wavy as if projected onto a drape or translucent fabric. The pattern/surface combo starts to pinch as if grabbed from behind by a giant hand. The diffuse light from the window and my computer monitor intrude further, as the pattern begins to draw me into it. I blink my eyes in a bit of a reality check. a split second only…

Leading up to this blink...i'm a bit disappointed at the non-symmetrical nature of the environment i had chosen. I can be a perfectionist at times but it's not a requirement. i prefer to have an 'optimal' experience, but not in a controlling 'it has to be a certain way' type of thing. I accept and allow for the novel and unexpected. so yeah... I could spend an eternity swimming in this beautiful slightly imperfect chaotic ocean of positive form and negative space.

Upon closing my eyes after that microscopic blink, I suddenly realized I had broken though. The pattern was gone, the lighting was no longer relevant, my bedroom was transformed. Cubed in size with an aesthetic that I would consider paradoxical spatial perception. By necessity, I have to relate this in 3d space, metaphor, and using some commonly available symbology due to a lack of proper syntax of hyperspace at this stage. There are many aspects to the experience that just don't translate as I'm sure you all know. (I think that'll come in time through sharing and researching the vastness of hyperspace and cherry picking mutually resonant ideas from this forum).

Normally, music is the focal point of my experience. I also love great visuals and can evoke them with other entheogens quite easily against plain backgrounds in subdued lighting, but I'm mostly an 'eyes closed, ears open type'. (I can get into this more later, but I feel at times the nervous system is just a formality and a translator for a 'direct' knowing.)

Surprisingly for me, the visual component was forefront and foremost. the music was a bit too loud, for once. I did hear a prominent and sustained 'tone' that I had never heard in this piece of music that I thought was very pervasive and exaggerated. if you are curious...i had chosen solar fields - air song (8am version) for my musical accompaniment. quite minimal, but quite an earful this time around.

After I broke through, I perceived a circular portal of sorts opening up in the floor area. immediately I had the perception of a feminine presence, while simultaneously observing an entity that resembled alex grey's 'sophia' rising through it. i didn't feel 'high' or altered at all... there was no body load.

Intellectually I was in awe, but the experience felt very neutral emotionally. This 'entity' rose through the portal spiraling upward, I couldn't make out a distinct face or even a head, not that I was trying to focus on details so much as being overwhelmed with the profundity of everything. There was a strong attraction on my part to observe what she was wearing, which was a dazzling and mesmeric jeweled fractal wonderland. I felt like I was unable to focus on particular details with my eye/vision pathway rather than just focusing attention to certain aspects of the whole experience.

She continued to rise upward, spiraling as she goes. I also observed what I perceived to be a caduceus that accompanied her. she wasn't holding it. it was floating alongside her, and it was somewhat like my avatar but in motion. instead of the traditional snakes, the coiling was what i thought to be dna. pulsing, rainbow strands. there was a wing like accompaniment but not 'flapping' or even moving. transforming constantly, but simultaneously static... quite a paradox. as she reached the top of the scenario/space she dematerialized, but her presence was still felt and remained as an observer.

Suddenly, very close to me I perceived an entity that was just like an outline of a humanoid form, a shadow outline mostly, that seemed to come into my field of 'vision' and look over me. It was like we were observing each other, but in a mutually curious way. I didn't sense any gender or ego to this entity.

my awareness then shifted back to the top of the vision where i perceived a winged entity. again the wings weren't flapping but in a perpetually transforming yet static state. My first thought was a very fat bat, but there was also a nautilus, roly-poly pill bug quality to it. I felt like the vision was starting to fade a bit, when I picked up on the pervasive tone running through the music and the experience trailed off through this musical tone fading.

coming back to baseline with a big grin on my face, i opened my eyes and had the most immense feeling of wonder. I turned to my sitter and started to gush about how amazing that was, recounting the experience. The experience lasted about 15 min total, but I wasn't really timing it. just going by the length of the song which is 16.5 min.