drumsgirls&dangerouspie

Judge A Book By Its Cover

Book Reviews and Synopses

Drums, Girls, & Dangerous Pie

Jordan Sonnenblick

Sonnenblick, Jordan. Drums, Girls, & Dangerous Pie. Scholastic Press. New York, NY. 2004.

Drums, Girls, & Dangerous Pie was such a preposterous book, that it may be the worst book ever published. Bad, stupid, silly, time wasting, and any other synonyms for bad that one can think of, this book is all of them. The writing, word choice, character development, and plot are utterly absurd. It is comical how bad this book is.

This story starts right out with Bob’s family at the dinner table having very boring conversations. Bob said to his family “I have a crush on Emily.” Then his mom replied “That’s great Bob.” This boring dialog with his family goes on for an entire chapter. It was so senselessly written, with typos and a lot of unnecessary dialogue, a second grader could have written a better first chapter. Then at the end of the horrible chapter when you think nothing could get any worse, it does.

Sonnenblick devotes the next twelve chapters to explaining Bob’s first day of the eighth grade. There are one or two whole chapters for each class Bob takes and the only thing that happens is that Bob spaces out thinking about Emily. This daydreaming drags on to the point where readers will want to close the book and scream, “Enough already!”

After these tiresome twelve chapters, Bob finally decides that he wants to be in an actual class with Emily. Bob signed up for band, even though he is not musically gifted, so that she will know he exists. Emily still didn’t pay an attention to Bob even after he joined band. Bob tries everything he can to have Emily notice him. He even bakes Emily a pie and brings it to school the next day, but Emily still doesn't like Bob.

Drums, Girls, & Dangerous Pie has nothing dramatic, fun, creative, and anything that makes a reader want to read more than one sentence. It is almost impossible to read all 278 pages of this book without first going insane with boredom. This is definitely the book to read if a reader wants a book so badly written that it probably will be the worst book they will ever read.

0 out of 5 stars

Contributed by J. Leete

April 27th, 2011