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Life is like a never ending mystery series on television. If you hope to ever know the truth, then by reason and faith we can take a good guess. First with reason and then by faith we can understand the meaning or mystery of life by coming face to face in God's presence or Spirit (although the bible states that we would die). By faith that God is good, man can come to know the motive and clues. The motive is LOVE and the clues are symbolism. To make the mystery more difficult, we seem to always be looking at the wrong clues. God's ways of truth and reality are paradoxical to us because of our vanity and pride. He created a dualism so that in our ignorance we can choose between easy deceptions, hard truths, nothing, or everything. And in the end, it is usually a question of balance and connectedness / oneness and openness and contentment. Having been created in his image and likeness, we foolishly think of ourselves as almost equals (demigods). Although the moon appears the same size as the sun and emmits light like the sun, the difference is staggering. We still believe the serpent who said "your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know" unfortunately the rest of this half truth is that we'll know evil (sin, imperfection, lie, idolatry, illussion, ignorance, separated from having a relationship with God, fall, pride).

In the beginning before time and the big bang there was only the spirit / word / energy of love which was alone - what lacked was a marriage in order to complement / complete or transcend / transform via love in order to give birth to a new synthesis of creation. So God in his infinite wisdom and goodness created the world with all everything needed for man to choose freely whether or not to love him in return. God created a perfect man in his image, but in our ignorance and selfishness we worshipped idolatry and became disconnected and separated from God's essence of goodness and holiness until Jesus, the Christ Messiah, our Lord, Master, Guru, the Awaken / Aware / Enlightened One (Buddha), came to reveal to us the journey, way, knowledge of the truth, of God's will for us to surrender in order to enter the kingdom of eternal life via union with Him. By his miracles, blessing, and sacrifice, our Suffering Servant showed that his presence and glory can be resurrected and experienced by us walking in God's light. Starting with humility, fear (reverence or respect), or appreciation, man starts on the path of his spirtual journey or salvation and learns enough wisdom thru meditation or contemplation in which we consciously realize or know or discern the truth that what is needed is grace from God and less judgement and more forgiveness, prayer, praise, and gratitude from us.

My Latest Epiphany:

8/6/08 Feeling / experiencing my love and pain of separation from Ryan, I could identify with God's love and realized union. I also realized that love is both joy and suffering - maybe the reason that we don't see God is because we always try to avoid the suffering. I ordered the book "A Course in Miracles" to learn about forgiveness and maybe at that time I was forgiven and graced with that enlightenment or maybe because I felt like giving up.

9/4/08 Rather than lowering our esteem of Jesus, we should raise our esteem of ourselves knowing that we have a divine essence.

10/15/08 Through prayer we can communicate with God and co-create with Him our wishes (ie. like with quantuum physics, God provides a general framework, but allows some latitude for us to produce certain results by our focus/attention/will/faith).

11/12/08 In thinking of how grateful we should be to God for giving us the gift of having feelings and emotions (no matter how good or bad) and that He shares in those experiences - which made me think of how way more connected we may be, but we just don't realize it.

12/5/08 I had a thought that not only do we need to become complete, but in doing so it also makes God complete - All in All.

12/30/08 Could a personal relationship with God mean realizing the divinity within us, and if so, do we worship Jesus (who is not only our Lord/Master/Guru, but savior) or the Father or the Holy Spirit?

1/5/09 Enlightenment from God is 1-sided to ourselves, but love is 2-sided like a marriage (and is the only way we can GIVE anything to God).

1/8/09 The Fall is symbolic to each of us because rather than choosing to know God through love (tree of Life - and doing His will and being instruments in creation), we always seem to fall into choosing to know God through our intellect and doctrine (tree of knowledge of good and evil - and trying to be independent and doing our will). Perhaps the serpent is our ego (pride and selfishness) and the woman is the seducer of materialism and idolatry.

1/14/09 Trinity of knowledge, faith, and love where faith is our mind-set to choose the tree of knowledge or tree of life. Need need both our savior Jesus and enlightenment of our own divinity that Jesus taught so that we can save others.

10/23/11 - see Journal for further reflections, esp on the Trinity

Food for Thought:

We don't see God's presence because we avoid suffering

Perfected through suffering vs. Came that you may have life more abundantly (John 10:10)?

Second coming as being personal - re-read Revelation commentaries

Holy (Whole) vs Separate (set apart)

Humble -> Forgivingness -> Love -> Knowledge -> Reason -> Faith

The Trinity is not a paradox, but a mystery.

Trinity as Body (Universe,Father,Purgative), Mind (Intellect, Word, Son,Illuminative), Spirit (Love, Action, Holy Spirit,Unitive)

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

Journey