Samantha Hager

My vision is to encapsulate the many aspects of girlhood and the ways in which relationships and experiences cause/force someone to grow. Through my body of work, I hope to make my audience lean into the discomfort, specifically the harsh lessons and challenges of girlhood. I document specific memories between me and the people in my life to present the value that these words have day to day. The work is intentionally vulnerable, confessional and confrontational in order to create discomfort. I encourage people to dive into their own memories and the uncomfortable things that might come up for them upon observation. I wanted to convey a lack of control over others and letting go of constructing this “ideal” in relationships that has been taught to us through society. Within these relationships, there is a struggle to maintain a balance between vulnerability and assertiveness. I explore this adolescence through focusing on the process in which someone learns to love others and be loved themselves.

To portray these themes of documentation and memory, I used a smaller, more intimate scale and borders to capture a moment forever. I played with my line density to create these harsher images to communicate these narratives as well. This sense of childhood, I worked to portray through my brighter palette; the vibrant colors are used to create a youthful, immature feeling. However, my choice to include words created by a small black micron pen allowed me to portray the permanence and severity of these conversations. I switched to capitalization to highlight this progression of my \comfortability with confrontation. In other pieces, my medium choice, especially with gouache, allowed me to be very purposeful with the opacity of colors to display this theme of not only memories fading, but the role of people changing. For example, through my monoprint pieces I was able to let go of this sense of control and create this deteriorating image to reflect the loss of a memory. For me as the artist, it was important for me to accept the final image and what was transferred during the process; this was similar to the theme of acceptance in the relationships I’m exploring. The curiosity I hope to spark in the audience is furthered with the details that have been lost in the printmaking process.

My work has been heavily influenced by the work of Tracy Emin, who creates these similar pieces where she combines typography and images to share and evoke reflection. Many of her pieces seem to act as portals for her to communicate with loved ones in her life and call out/appreciate them. I was also influenced by Nan Goldin’s photography because of the very intimate, nearly uncomfortable moments she chooses to capture. It sparked curiosity in me to not shy away from discomfort.

For my installation, I choose to place my large banner, “THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME” above all of my pieces as a way to tie them all together. To the left of the banner, I hung my balloons and my box of confetti at the bottom on top of the stool to create this feeling of walking into this exciting place, a party. Next to the balloons and directly below my banner are my postcards to present the multiple components and relationships coming together. These are next to my teacups which on their own and in the middle provide a certain coldness that I hope to alleviate with the colorful piece next to them. Below the teacups are my monoprints which combine this coldness and happiness as the memories are fading off the page, yet still colorful. I choose to separate my two images because of the different parts of my themes that I am trying to present. My cousin is exhibiting the youthfulness and beginning of these stages while the image of “Be My Baby” presents this maturity and progression of time; the color schemes determined where they were placed to tie together the more colorful pieces. My micron pieces are above my “Be My Baby” and present the “confinement” of chaotic thoughts.