Training children in meditation

Why teach this meditation to children?

Why have I been teaching this meditation to children with a sustained interest? There is a brief explanation and a long one. 

Brief explanation

I find that most adults suffering from the impact of stress are not able to use this simple and doable technique that can significantly reduce their anxiety and stress. They can't get out of the deep grooves of thinking and behaving, even when they know that these habitual ways are causing their suffering. It is like a person not being able to quit smoking, though aware of the harm it is doing. 

But in my experiments over many years, I found most children can easily learn and practice this meditation and enjoy its benefits. 

It therefore makes sense to me to help them develop this meditation skill, like the other skills they are currently taught – counting numbers 1, 2, 3, reading letters A, B, C, or interacting with others. 

Moreover, this meditation also improves their focus, self-control, and behavior. It helps them perform better in academics, sports, arts, or any other activity. Once they are trained in this meditation, they will not only be protected from stress and its extensive damage but also become better performers in all their activities.

Long explanation

My detailed explanation for “Why teach this meditation to the children?” follows.

I began my practice of ‘Meditation on breathing’ upon waking up in the morning, still lying on the bed at night, to fall asleep, then at other times of the day, including walking. I experienced unexpected comfort in my mind and body. Practicing this technique while lying on the bed to get sleep is not found in traditional teaching.

In my experiments with about 100 adults in the year 2002, I could see that some of them practiced this meditation only at bedtime to get sleep, but even this tiny practice resulted in visible changes in their faces and even changed their habitual behaviors, like anger outbursts. 

More practice during the wandering times of the mind resulted in remarkable benefits for the mind, body, and relationships. People of all ages, incomes, and education levels reported benefits. The practitioners derived these benefits without spending time or money. 

Some of them voluntarily picked up my meditation handout displayed at the factory where I worked, read it, understood the technique, and practiced on their own. They did not receive personal training nor follow any rules. The return on their efforts was infinite. How? Because their investment of useful time or money was zero, but the benefits derived were positive, any number divided by zero is infinity.

Moreover, most people who began the practice of this meditation and tasted the benefits, the least of which was getting quality sleep, became addicted to the practice. They continued the practice on their own, deriving continuous benefits. This is a unique combination of a simple self-help technique coupled with an excuse-free mode of practice that could help every beginner like me.

I felt that some higher power developed this unique mode of practicing lying on the bed, to get sleep through me, and it should not die with me. It should live beyond my lifetime and spread to all parts of the world like yoga.

I made persistent efforts to share it mostly through printed handouts and a few introductory seminars. I tried to encourage my friends and colleagues in my company to try the method at bedtime, lying on the bed without wasting their productive time. A small percentage of them were positive. Some tried for a few days and gave up. Some firmly said they did not even like to try it. I realized that people had deep-seated inner resistance to making any change in their established routines, even to try it, lying on the bed and waiting for sleep. I had to search for other potential beneficiaries.

I thought children might be more receptive, as their minds were not yet deeply conditioned. I got a clue from a parent practitioner on how this technique made a change in their two children’s behavior. He was an electrician who worked in my company in India, attended a series of my meditation classes, and enjoyed practicing the technique. He taught this meditation to his children on his own and asked them to practice it at bedtime, to fall asleep. Within two days of practice, to his surprise, his two children were out of bed before he and his wife woke up. Before they practiced the technique, his children had to be goaded out of bed to get ready for school.

I decided to focus on teaching this meditation to children through a variety of routes in India in 2002 in India and from 2003, after I settled permanently in the USA.

India - 2002 Trials 

School teachers

While working at ITCPDPD, I conducted weekly classes on counting breaths meditation for 12 teachers in the company school who volunteered to participate. These classes continued for 3 months.  Many of them practiced the meditation, and some reported benefits like the following. 

1. The principal and vice-principal of the school reported: Every year, the school had more applicants than the available seats. They had to screen the applicants. The parents of children who were not admitted were angry and vented their frustration to the principal and Vice-principal. They were getting severely stressed out as they had to keep the community's goodwill. Similarly, the parents of children who got low marks or failed lashed out at them. They were severely stressed out for quite some time every year.  After they got into the meditation practice, they were able to listen to the complaining parents and pacify them, explaining their limitations and the criteria for decisions. 

2. One of the lady teachers reported that very often her sleep was being disturbed when the factory siren would blow. She was very much irritated and angry at this disturbance. But after she got into the habit of this meditation, she didn't get irritated. 

3. It was the summer holidays at the school.  There was a summer camp for the children. One of the teachers conducting the camp taught this meditation to the children. One day, he invited me to join him in conducting a session for the children. I demonstrated the 'counting mode' and made them practice it for about 5 minutes. At the end, I asked if they had any questions. One 10-year-old girl asked, “Sir, can I use this technique when I am under stress?”. I was surprised. Her question showed that she grasped the technique, practiced it, liked its impact, and instinctively felt it might help relieve her stress!

Father taught his children

I got a clue about the potential of this technique for helping children from an electrician who attended my series of classes on this technique, along with his coworkers. He or his wife had to goad their two children out of their beds every morning to attend school on time. After he attended my classes, he got the idea to try the technique with his two children. One day, he taught the technique to his two children and asked them to practice it at bedtime.  After they practiced this meditation at bedtime for a few days, the children woke up earlier than their parents and even woke them up!

Children practiced after attending a short meditation session

I conducted an introductory session on this meditation for 60 children aged 8 to 15 in a local school in India that offered free residential accommodation to poor tribal children of the area. During my session, they practiced the counting mode for about 10 minutes. After a gap of 6 months, I asked one of the organizers if any of the children were practicing it. He said 6 of the children regularly practiced the meditation on their own.  This happened after only one introductory class to 60 children!  

USA - Albany Hindu Temple

Heritage class students

This was a weekly class on counting breaths meditation for children attending a Sunday class on Hindu heritage. They practiced the meditation for 15 minutes in that class.  I collected written feedback from the children and recorded their feedback on the annual day of the heritage class. More...

Youth camp 

I made a beginning in teaching counting breaths meditation with children in the year 2004, with a summer camp for children at the Albany Hindu Temple, attended by 42 children in 30 minutes. 

In the year 2005, I taught 27 children attending a summer camp at Albany Hindu Temple in 30 minutes. 

One of the volunteer mothers in the summer camp was very impressed with the technique and its adoption by the children. She asked me to teach her teen son, who was lacking focus on his studies and not cooperating with his parents. Three other mothers sent their sons. One mother said her son was not being respectful to adult friends visiting their house. He was walking away, not even greeting them when they greeted him. Another mother said her son was not making eye contact with people. A single dad said that his son was not focusing on his classwork. The series of classes done for these 4 children was revealing as I collected their written feedback and took close-up photos showing the changes in their faces. More....

USA - Schools

Robert C. Parker School

Mindfulness at Robert C. Parker School

A wonderful blog post by Meg Taylor, Head of Robert C. Parker School, about how the school introduced mindfulness meditation using this and other techniques can be seen on this page.

I have been conducting ongoing trials at this private school to which our granddaughter was going. My association with this school started in 2003 and continued into 2013. More….

Breathing breaks in the classroom

Lynn Schuster, a dedicated and innovative class teacher for grades 2/3 in Robert C. Parker School, Wynantskill, New York State, developed the basic technique of ‘meditation on breathing’ to suit the needs of her students and herself in the classroom. It is a wonderful model that has brought out the immense potential of this simple technique! More….

Meditation class at Loudonville Elementary School students, in Grade 6

Their comments after attending a 15-minute introductory meditation session - Feedback

Grade 3 – 5 students at a local school

The school counselor of a local school searched online for Yoga classes to help the students reduce stress before and during the state tests. She found my website and requested that I train the students of Grades 3 to 5 in the ‘meditation on breathing’ technique as an optional after-school activity. I conducted two classes on April 17 and 24, 2013, for 9 students. Feedback

USA - Individual children

Two years old girl

I shared a handout of this meditation with the receptionist at my dentist’s office. She liked its practice. When I shared with her the feedback from children of 9 to 13 years, to whom I taught weekly classes of 15 minutes at Robert C. Parker school, she asked me if she could teach it to her daughter aged 2 years. I said I had no experience with a 2-year-old, and she may try the ‘Tip mode’ with her daughter as an experiment. On my next visit, she said she was very happy that it worked great and emailed the following report 

“I have a 2-year-old daughter who was not sleeping well at night. She would constantly toss and turn all night, and come morning time, when I would go in to wake her up, she was miserable. I was then introduced to the ’counting breaths’ method. I tried it with my daughter. To my surprise, the next day, I woke up a completely different little girl…. or so it seemed. She was much happier and more cooperative with me than on the previous mornings. I also tried this method with her time-out if she misbehaves. Once again, to my surprise, it worked. Within a few moments, she would become much calmer and more relaxed. “

9th Grader with ADHD

Prakash (not his real name), a 9th grader with ADHD, attended 8 of my classes over 5 months. His mom was averse to medication and wanted to try ‘focusing on breathing’ and related techniques to help improve his symptoms – Anxiety, Anger, Impatience, Stress, Lack of focus, Nervousness, Frustration, Uncontrolled laughter, and Lack of eye contact. In about 4 months, his mom reported 50 to 65% improvement in his symptoms. More….

10-years-old boy developing his own mode

I demonstrated the ‘Tip mode’ to Dev Udugula, a 10-year-old boy whose dad works in a local Indian store that I visited periodically. I watched him practice this mode on two hands in my presence to make sure he got it right. 

I met Dev after a month on my next visit to the store. I asked him whether he remembered the breathing. He said "Yes". When I asked him to show me how he was doing it, he showed me the ‘folding mode’ which he devised on his own! His dad said the boy was found practicing the technique at home.

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9-year-old girl practiced on her own

A 9-year-old girl who learned this technique in a group setting in 30 minutes said that she practiced the ‘tip mode’ at her dentist’s office to calm herself on her own. The following is a full report.  

"I made a follow-up visit to the kids' group at the American Cancer Society’s Hope club in Latham, NY on Nov 12011. There were 10 kids, out of which 5 had attended my previous session and 5 were new. There were 3 other adults. 

I asked each of the five kids and adults who attended my previous session how they practiced the breathing technique and how they felt about it. Some of them said they practiced at bedtime, and some said they practiced in the morning. One 9-year-old girl said she practiced at her dentist’s office to calm herself. I asked her if she did it on her own or if anyone suggested using the technique. She said she did it on her own. See the amazing implication of this report –

The 9-year-old girl learned the technique and experienced its impact for about 2 minutes in a 15-minute group session. She received my 2-page handout on the technique.

She clearly understood the technique and liked that brief experience. She internalized the technique as her self-calming tool.

She was so comfortable with the technique that she remembered it when she felt anxious at her dentist’s appointment, pulled out this invisible tool from her ‘tool belt’, and used it to calm herself!

Does it not make sense to equip every child with this technique as a simple and readily usable self-calming tool, available life-long at no cost? Is it not as useful as the basic skills of reading the alphabet and counting numbers? What an incredibly effective life-long technique at no cost!"

Boy practicing on his own

At my follow-up visit to the “Hope Club’ of the American Cancer Society I asked the coordinator for the children’s programs whether the children who were introduced to the technique were using it. She happily replied as follows –

“Yes. They do. Recently, I got a call from a mom to ask what was the breathing technique her son learned at the club. When the mom was at the doctor’s office, she found her son touching his fingers and doing some breathing. She asked him what he was doing. He explained it to her. So she was curious to know about the technique from me. ” 

This is a case of the son teaching the technique to his mom!

She also said one of the parents who learned the technique was teaching the technique to other children.

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How to train children?

Adults need to demonstrate the modes and practice along with them for a few sessions. Once introduced, they readily internalize it and make good use of the technique. Whenever they feel the need to comfort themselves, they use it as their tool without needing a prompt from the adults. 

What modes work for children

Children from nine years can practice all 7 modes. Five to eight-year-olds can practice the ‘Tip mode’. 

For younger 3 to 4-year-old, try this simpler version of the 'Tip mode': Ask the child to breathe only once at each finger. Depending on the response of the individual child, gradually increase it to two breaths and then three. 

As an alternative to using the fingertips, you can ask the child to fold one finger at a time and breathe only once, which is the 'Folding mode'.  Introduce it to the child as a fun activity, not as a chore.

When should they practice?

The best time to initiate children into this practice is bedtime. Sit or lie down by the side of the child and practice together. Watch the finger movements and the up and down movement of the abdomen, to see if their movements and counting match. If the child breathes fast, say slowly and soothingly, one of these statements or similar calming words.

“Take your time”, 

“No rush” 

“Breathe slowly” 

Children may be more receptive as a group. You can experiment and develop your strategies.

Every child is different. Don’t pressurize. Let the child practice with a liking for it. Let each child develop the habit at her or his own pace. If you have any questions or comments, you can contact me. 

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