Dramatic changes for a young man
Following is the remarkable case of dramatic life changes that happened to "Paul" (name changed) in his twenties.
I was periodically meeting him as a staff member at a UPS store. He was friendly. I gave him my handout and suggested to try the technique at night, to enjoy good sleep. He practiced the technique from my handouts. He did not attend my classes and I did not give him detailed instructions for many months. Whenever I met him on business, I inquired about his practice and spoke a few encouraging words. After about 9 months I invited him to come to my classes on learning about his long standing depression and other problems.
Letting all the little things fall away
A few months back, I gave Paul the meditation handout and suggested to try the technique at bedtime, to get good sleep. On my subsequent visits, he said he was using the technique and happy about it. On my request, he recently sent the following feedback.
“As someone that deals with the public on a daily basis, I take a lot of abuse and my job has a lot of stress. As a result, I’ve become short tempered, especially when I have a bout of insomnia which I’ve had most of my life.
By using the ‘focusing on breathing’ technique, I am able to calm myself physically and mentally, letting all the little things that bother me throughout the day fall away. It helps me to keep things in perspective and get a decent eight hours of sleep every night.”
Feb 2013
Dealing with rude customers calmly
The other day I had too many customers and some of them were rude. To keep my cool, I went to the back room, did my breathing for a while, calmed myself down and came out. I do this so I can have a good night’s sleep without thinking of all such incidents.
March 2013
I could cut back my mental health medications
“I work in a stressful job where even taking time to walk away from a situation wouldn’t calm me down. At one point I was on three different medications for more than 2 years. I decided to try practicing ‘focusing on breathing’ because it was simple and I figured what could it hurt?
I started practicing it at night, so I could get proper sleep, then gradually moved my practice into my day. I made it a daily thing, even if it is just for a few minutes a day. I even found I was doing it without thinking about it.
I could calm my mind more easily. Then I could go back to deal with a particular situation more clearly.
After a time of using the finger modes of the breathing technique, I was able to cut back one out of three of my mental health medications. Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t a cure all. I am still on one medication but one is a lot better than three. Plus, with a clearer mind, I find my life in general more manageable, and I am finding I can enjoy my life again.”
July 2013
Insomnia and stress relieved
He practiced the ‘focusing on breathing’ technique by himself for about 9 months. He told me that he had severe insomnia and depression for many years and was on medication. He shared the following feedback when he came to my first class.
Insomnia
Before: He had insomnia almost all his life. Sometimes he could not sleep for two days in a row.
Now: He has been using the segment mode and enjoying sound sleep. His insomnia is completely resolved.
Stress at work
Before: He works in a packing and shipping store. Being the person responsible for handling customer complaints about damaged parcels, he had to face the angry outbursts of some customers, sometimes even threatening physical gestures. Such situations were unnerving and extremely stressful to him.
Now: He is able to keep his cool in such situations. The claims due to damaged parcels upset the owner of the store as she had to bear the losses. She used to take out her frustration on the employees. One day all the employees were almost walking out of the store. Paul kept his cool and persuaded the other employees to stay back, explaining that the owner was behaving like that due to her own stress and she did not mean to hurt their feelings. He was surprised at this dramatic change in his own attitude and attributes it to his practicing this calming technique.
Sept 2013
Anger, Anxiety and Disturbing thoughts reduced
He reported improvement on a host of mental, physical and relationship issues. Also a dramatic reduction in the following concerns that he experienced before practicing the techniques.
Anger: Relieved by 80%
Anxiety and Stress: Relieved by 70%
Disturbing thoughts and feelings: Relieved by 95%
Before: “Something very bad happen every day.”
Now: “So much less. Most situations, I can handle and working on the ones I have problems with.”
For the first time in many years, he is now thinking of a career plan for which he had no inclination due to his depression, anxiety and stress though he was a graduate.
Sept 2013
A lie retracted
"Hi Suryanarayana I have to be honest with you. When I told you I had gotten a blood test it was a lie. I didn't get one. I'm not sure why I lied in the first place maybe it is what I had thought you would want to hear or maybe I was just scared to talk about my mental disorder at the time. However that is no excuse for my action. I am truly sorry for what I did but you deserve to know I at least owe you that.
The things you have shown me truly help. I am becoming a better person because of you. I understand if you do not wish to meet anymore because of this and again I am Sorry. Please do not stop what you are doing to help people because of what I have done."
I responded by email
"I greatly appreciate your honesty and courage in confessing your lapse. What you lied about was your own personal matter, not affecting anyone else. That day you spoke in a manner you felt comfortable. Many of us do this. But all of us may not have the courage to confess, like you have shown.
You had enough trust in me to confess. I consider myself privileged for earning that trust. Let us try to understand this incident in the broad human perspective.
There are three guys inside each of us. One is the 'Boss guy' who ultimately decides on the contradictory issues like a judge in a court.
Second is the 'Truth guy' who cares only about telling the truth, not caring for the consequences.
The third is an 'Image guy' who only cares about projecting a positive self image, to feel secure and please himself and others. He does not care how he achieves this goal.
Often, a clash occurs in our minds between the second and third guys, like the one you have experienced. The day you lied about the blood test, the 'Image guy' took over, suppressed the 'Truth guy' and made himself feel secure.
After a few days, the 'Truth guy' who was feeling snubbed, presented his case strongly before the 'Boss guy'.
Finally the 'Boss guy' in you was strong enough to decide the case in favor of the 'Truth guy' and silenced the 'Image guy'. Then you, the Boss guy sent this Email.
All is well that ends well! I congratulate you for your achievement and hope my explanation resolves any feeling of guilt you may be carrying in your heart. Let us get back to business as usual. We learned a lesson. I am happy to be working with a person who has the courage to face the truth and confess to another person. I look forward to seeing the Food Diary and seeing you this Sat."
Nov 2013
Improvements in depression, addictions, anger and disturbing thoughts
I have been using the finger segment technique for about six months now and taking classes to expand upon that foundation.
As a result I went from 3 antidepressants to 2.
I have found my desire to self medicate with alcohol and tobacco lessen. it's not to say that I don't slip up. But I have gone from several drinks a day to maybe a few per week. Smoking is all but eliminated with the exception of the occasional pipe tobacco but cigarettes are done. I can't stand the taste anymore.
The biggest change is that I no longer get angry as easily and I don't hang on to that anger when I do.
My disturbing thoughts and feelings are all but gone. It feels as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Now I am working on my weight problem and making life changes to live happier and healthier.
(I loaned Paul two books on healthy eating.
(1) “Eat more, Weigh less” by Dean Ornish M.D
(2) “Mindless eating” by Brian Wansink Ph.D. He liked these books and started using the ideas from them, like cutting down his meat consumption.
He also started practicing Yoga at home using a DVD. As a result, he lost about 20 lbs.)
Nov 2013
My waistline changed from 46 to 44 and I am building a New Me!
“And I lost about ten pounds in a sustainable way. I no-longer fear going back to the way I was.” said a client who practiced initially on his own from my handouts and then attended 10 of my classes.
As someone who has fought the proverbial battle of the bulge most of his life, I know how hard it can be to make life changes. I have been through the crash diets, to doctors and so on with varying degrees of success. However, the weight would always come back. I had pretty much given up.
Then one day, I picked up a handout on breathing mostly because it said it could help with my insomnia. To my surprise, it did help a lot and with more than just my lack of sleep.
Eventually, I was convinced to try taking the classes. Through the classes, I have been keeping a food diary and trying new changes in my diet. I was even watching a subliminal video. This isn’t like the crash diets I’ve been on and it’s not pills.
In keeping the food diary, I am able to keep track of what I’m putting in my body (when you first start, you may be shocked). I started my changes gradually and in a way that I didn’t feel deprived. The changes I have made so far are
Drink water at least a half hour before food.
More whole unprocessed foods like vegetables and whole grains like brown rice and rye bread.
I added beans and salad to at least one meal a day.
And the real hard part – I cut down on my drinking beer and my meat (didn’t eliminate just cut down).
As I implemented these changes, I found my tastes have changed as well as my waistline from 46 to 44. I now only feel deprived if I miss my daily salad.
I have lost about ten ponds, in a sustainable way (300 lbs to 286 lbs in 5 months). I no-longer fear going back to the way I was.
I am building a ‘new me’.
Feb 2014
For the first time, I can look forward to today instead of dreading it
It all started with a handout CS was printing in the store I worked in. At first I didn't give it much thought. However after yet another bout with insomnia I decided to give the counting breaths & segment mode a try. (What could it hurt?).
After a few nights of doing this technique I found to my astonishment and relief that my insomnia was gone.
After I told CS and thanked him, we got to talking. Eventually I found that he taught classes in this technique and others. We set up a time that worked for both of us and we met.
After that first class I was still not entirely convinced but I checked out his web site and began incorporating other simple techniques into my day.
Now a few years later, I drink way less then I did before. Quit smoking, I'm working on my weight , and climbing out of a deep dark depressive hole that I've been in a sense I was 15.
With the help of this technique I can deal with people and situations better then I have in the past. As well as have some peace of mind.
For the first time in a long time I can look forward to today instead of dreading it.
March 2015
Got off all antidepressant medications
Paul got off all the three antidepressant medications per the advice of his primary care doctor. My primary goal in working with him has come true.
Aug 2016
Career changes
When Paul got over the severe depression and gained confidence, he gave up the job at UPS store and joined a local cleaning company. He had many immigrant co-workers who were not getting due wages and benefits. So he volunteered to be their shop steward and fought with the company to ensure they were paid due wages and benefits. This was the Paul who could not face an aggressive customer and went to the back room, breathed a few times to calm himself and came back!
While he was doing the cleaning at a state office, the staff came to know him, liked his demeanor and advised him to apply for a state job as he was qualified. He applied and got the job. After a couple of years, he got into a desk job with an important state function in the office befitting his qualification.
Paul was a talented artist. He made many artistic items for me (a mobile with discarded CD's, pebbles painted with the 'counting breaths logo', and greeting cards.
The breathing meditation is something I do every day
His message after more than 4 years.
"Hi CS I know I'm not great at keeping in touch, but I just wanted to say hi. I've been doing well with everything that has been going on. Besides work and political activity, I have been doing some miniature model painting for a friend and I have been talking to the state park about putting miniature fairy houses along the story trail that they have. If that doesn't happen, I may work with a local art organization to make it happen elsewhere.
I keep sending people the link to your site and the breathing meditation is something I do every day, though weekends offer more time for a longer session. I hope all is well with you and you are enjoying life. Be well my teacher and friend."
July 2018
I'm surprised at how far I've come
Recently 7+ years after he ended the classes, I sent the above summary of his reports to him to let me know if he wished to make any changes. He approved it as it is in his email quoted below.
"I would keep them just as they are. I've read them over several times and I'm surprised at how far I've come. I still use the meditation and finger tip/segment. With the breathing sometimes I find myself using it without realizing it."
Jan 2024
I'm still on a light dose of antidepressant but a lot more resilient
When I asked him end of Jan 2024, if he was still off all antidepressant medications he replied "The fact is is that I was off of my antidepressant medication during that time. And I made it through up until 6 months into lockdown so almost 2020. Which in all fairness facing a modern plague, the threat of nuclear annihilation and the Trump administration most people got to realize what depression is. I'm still on a light dose now just because things are still, honestly crazy. On the flip side. I'm a lot more resilient than I was."
Jan 2024
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