You don't have to receive or carry disrespectful behavior
I watched a spiritual say on TV long ago “Suppose someone is giving you an ugly looking pen. When will you be carrying that ugly pen?"
Scenario 1: Passively accepting the unwanted pen
1. You focus on the pen held in the palm of the person's extended hand.
2. You extend your hand and open your fingers.
3. You watch that pen move towards your palm.
4. You feel the sensation of the pen touching the skin of your palm.
5. You grasp it.
6. You place the pen in your purse or pocket.
7. You let the pen remain there, day after day. You don't throw away the pen.
You feel miserable day after day, brooding over that ugly sitting with you.
Scenario 2: Multiple opportunities for not receiving or not carrying the unwanted pen
1. You look away from the pen. Or
2. You don't extend your hand or don't open your palm. Or
3. When you feel the pen in your hand, immediately withdraw your hand, letting the pen fall to the ground. Or
4. You drop the pen as soon as it is placed in your hand, Or
5. You unwillingly take that pen and walk away. At the earliest opportunity, you quietly drop it in the trash can with a smile for tricking that person.
When someone talks disrespectfully
Let us say the person said "You are stupid.". Let us consider the options open to you.
Pretend you didn't hear the words and keep doing whatever you were doing. Or
Pretend you didn't hear and quietly leave that place. Or
immediately leave that place saying something like (a) I will be back (b) I don't like it (c) "I will think about what you said.". Or
Say "I heard you say that I am stupid. You know what? I have a different opinion of myself. We don't have to agree. " Or
Say "I heard what you said. I will check it out.". Then non-challently walk away.
You can say something creative like the above that you feel comfortable saying and doing. You don't have to passively receive or absorb the disrespectful words from others. You don't need anybody's permission to reject or discard disrespectful behavior.
"You neither have to receive an ugly pen nor carry it with you".
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