Words in capitals mean those words are stressed while speaking. A few real life examples follow.
Father said to his 19 year old daughter "You are a monster."
In this case, the father has been under chronic depression, not working and sleeping most of the time, disconnected from his (severely sick wife who is in a nursing home) and from his daughter who is living with him. The daughter can choose one or more of these options. She can modify them to suit her regular speaking style.
"Dad, did you say I am a M-O-N-S-T-E-R? I can't believe Y-O-U called me a monster!
"Dad, you called me a Monster. (Wait for a while.) Then, say "I D-O-N-"T T-H-I-N-K so."
"Dad, you called me a Monster. Am I REALLY looking like one? I don't get it!""
"Dad, you called me a Monster. T-h-a-t is FUNNY!"
"Dad, you called me a monster OUT OF THE BLUE! Are you OK?"
"Dad, you called me a monster. It looks like you are stressed out. HOW can I help you? "
"Dad, you called me a monster. I consider it an abuse. I don't like it."
"Dad, you called me a monster. I feel sad when I remember about it. I would appreciate if you don't make such comments about me in the future"
"Dad, that's not nice"
"It makes me feel terrible when you say that Dad"
"Dad! Why would you say that!"
'Vimala' comments on 'Kamala's daughter
Vimala and Kamala met a couple of times but were not friends. Kamala had a daughter in her twenties. One day Vimala met Kamala in the presence of other women and said "Did your daughter lose weight? She was somewhat chubby when I saw her last time." It was obvious that Vimala wanted to pass derogatory comments on Kamala's daughter in the presence of others. What could Kamala say to Vimala to put her in her place without losing her cool? Kamala can choose one or more of these options. She can modify them to suit her regular speaking style.
"It looks like you were not happy about my daughter's appearance before but feeling better now. That is good to know. "
"It looks like you want me and others here to know what you think about my daughter's appearance. Right? "
"Thanks for sharing your opinion about my daughter's appearance. "
"My policy is not to comment on other's children. "
Kamala can pretend not to have heard Vimala's comments, turn to other women and talk about some other topic.
"I hope my daughter's appearance was not a problem for you."
"Oh! Don't worry. She is fine. "
"Oh! (Say casually and change the topic)
"I heard you Vimala. "
"Nice comment!"
"Thanks for your compliment. "
"It is so nice of you to be concerned about my daughter's appearance."
"Really?! That's an interesting comment!"
Vicky pesters Emily to go on a date with the brother of her boyfriend
Vicky said "My boyfriend's brother wants to go on a single date with you. Why don't you agree for that?"
It is obvious that Vicky wants to please her boyfriend by arranging a date for her brother. That brother is not doing a job and doesn't seem to have a plan for his life whereas Emily is highly focused on her college and job. Emily can use one or more of these options without being offensive, defensive or apologetic. She can modify these statement to suit her regular speaking style.
I am not interested.
My heart is not in it.
I don't think he is the kind of person I want to go on a date even for a day.
I am not inclined.
I heard you. Thanks.
I don't enjoy being pushed.
Thanks Vicky. I let this pass.
If Vicky is being pushy Emily can say
It looks like you are really anxious to help your boyfriend's brother find a date.
Vicky - I heard you. Do you mind allowing me to make my own decision about it?
If Vicky pesters, Emily can simply repeat her favorite response like a broken record till Vicky gives up.
If you have some ideas on this topic, I would like to hear from you.
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