Families

I feel very light after I started doing this meditation. Last week I practiced feeling mode along with the methods that I learned in the session which went so well.

"A" Family (Individual session with Son)

I met with the son in an extended session on 8/17/24.

I practiced

Staring mode at the stop lights, Sitting meditation, Chanting a mantra.

Improvements noticed

I need to practice breathing when I do the chanting, Also I study to help my mind stay peaceful. I do the walking to help my mind stay calm and flexible, I eat when water comes into my mouth for an apple.

I manage my stress by

Watching TV, Meditation.

Today's take-home ideas

I went for a walk, We talked about good memories, Doing the 911 mode, I did the Hare Rama chanting.

Rating of today's session

He wrote down the following on a blank paper

During my free time at home yesterday we did the cleaning for our special Friday festival. My sister (N2) said to my mom that I was getting a call from my friend while she can't move the bed mattress because she felt very skinny. I was very angry at her when she told my mom while I was on the phone with my friend and she got mad. And literally done the breathing.

I asked him to write down his wish list of 'Do's' and 'Don't's' for all the members of his family. He wrote down the following.

Do's: I want to be independent. I want to learn Ramayana from her.

Don'ts: Don't use loud voice with me. Don't talk to me in a stern voice.

Do's: She will tech me cooking and communication skills.

Don'ts: I don't want you to control me.

Younger (brother living away):

Do's: Call me and talk to me about sports. By me game tickets.

Don'ts: I don't want him to advise. I don't want him to advise me about listening to loud music.

Mom

Do's: Teach me how to use the coupons for shopping. Teach me how to make fries.

Don'ts: I don't want mom to speak to me in irritated voice. Don't tell me that God is punishing me for being meant to N1.

Dad

Do's: Buy me a car. Looking for better opportunities.

Don'ts: I don't want him to tell me because he is busy working.

"A" Family (Individual session with Mom)

I met with the mom for an extended time on 8/17/24. She explained her son's special condition and the dynamics in the family.

"A" Family (Session 4)

I practiced

Segment mode at bedtime, Eating meditation, Feeling mode, Waiting meditation, Gentle yoga stretching, 911 mode, Lying down meditation, and Chanting mantra. (Mom)

Staring mode at stop lights, Sitting meditation, Lying down meditation (Son)

Segment mode at bedtime, OM on waking up, Staring mode at stoplights, Feeling mode, Sitting meditation, Waiting meditation, Gentle yoga stretching, 911 mode. Lying down meditation, Chanting a mantra or affirmation (N1)

Feeling mode, Sitting meditation, Gentle yoga stretching, Lying down meditation, Chanting a mantra or affirmation. (N2)

Improvements noticed

No significant improvement over last week, tried when I was suffering from severe back pain. (Mom)

Doing 911 mode, I focus on chanting, Eye exercises breathing, Chanting eye rotation breathing (Son)

Peaceful mind, Digestion, Handling stressful situations, Better meaning/ understanding of life (N1)

Felt very good throughout the day/ week. (N2)

My life goals

I will improve communication, anxiety going down, Getting a job (Son)

More self aware, Making meditation a part of myself, Avoiding/ handling stress in a better way without hurting myself. (N1)

Getting a job, Increasing my patience level. (N2)

I manage my stress by

Watching TV, Meditation. (Son)

Exercise, Socializing, Journaling, Meditation, Music (N1)

Watching TV, Yoga, Meditation, Sketching. (N2)

Today's take-home ideas

Adding rubbing movement in segment mode, Folding mode, Improving my listening, and Doing one one-on-one meeting. (Mom)

I learned about the stressful situations, Breathing is making the mind stay calm, I learned about communication skills, Also on how I make eye contact. (Son)

Communication steps (Listening, Confirming, Understanding, Responding), Help my brother learn more about communication and help him feel calm all the time without making him anxious when he is with me. (N1)

Different kind of segment mode, Knowledge about communication, listening and reacting and responding. (N2)

Rating of today's session

Very useful x 4

I would like to learn by

Reading books, Reading online, Watching videos, Listening (Mom)

Reading books, meditate more (N1)

Watching videos, Learn from knowledgeable people, social media, family and friends. (N2)

"A" Family (Session 3)

All four members completed the survey form and each of them read out what they had written, including free-style writing on the blank side of the form.

We practiced 10 minutes of sitting meditation followed by a few minutes of body scanning. Both of these we practiced for the first time.

We practiced 'Gentle Yoga Stretching' for about 15 minutes.

Then we discussed some behavioral issues emphasizing the point that our behavior should be such that anyone of any age and condition should feel comfortable in our presence.

We decided to create a WhatsApp group for the five of us to continue our interactions including video calls.

I practiced

Segment mode at bedtime, Eating meditation, Feeling mode, Gentle yoga stretching, and Chanting mantra. (Mom)

Walking meditation, Lying down meditation (Son)

Segment mode at bedtime, Tip mode on waking up, Staring mode at stoplights, Feeling mode, Sitting meditation, Waiting meditation, Gentle yoga stretching, 911 mode. (N1)

Segment mode at bedtime, Tip mode on waking up, Feeling mode, Sitting meditation, Gentle yoga stretching, Lying meditation, Chanting mantra. (N2)

Improvements noticed

Able to manage distractions. (Mom)

I wake up in the morning doing chanting, and I go back to sleep and sleep, Walking with breathing makes my mind fresh. (Son)

Better sleep, Better composure in stressful situations, helped with digestion, Improvement in being patient and calm. (N1)

Noticed improvement in my happy modes (N2)

My life goals

Making meditation a part of my life, Using meditation to heal myself from any past disturbances that happened in my life, and achieving self-awareness. (N1)

To get a job, Be patient all the time. (N2)

I manage my stress by

Watching TV, Socializing, Yoga, meditation (Mom)

Watching TV, Exercise (Son)

Exercise, Socializing, Journaling, Meditation, Music (N1)

Watching TV, Exercising, Yoga, Meditation, Sketching/Drawing (mandala art) (N2)

My expectation from the meetings

Improving eating habits, Implementing breath meditation (Mom)

Making myself feel better every day (N1)

I have learned a lot of useful & precious information from the meetings. (N2)

My take home ideas

Regular morning stretches (or) during work hours, making everyone to be comfortable when they are with me. (Mom)

I enjoyed Yoga in today's class, I also enjoyed about what happened in the class, Basically one part was breathing in an O shape, I like doing all the stretching yoga (Son)

Thank you for the lessons. I felt these sessions as therapy to start my healing journey. Be present in the moment, Set up morning stretching routine, making meditation a part of my life, having gratitude for the life I have, being composed in stressful situations, Not becoming a bad example toothers. (N1)

Yoga for whole body, Some good advice from you. (N2)

Rating of today's session

Very useful x 4

I would like to learn by

Listening from experienced and knowledgeable people (Mom)

Reading books, Exercise routine set-ups, Journaling (N1)

Reading books, Watching videos, Friends, elders and podcasts (N2)

Free style writing on blank paper

I am practicing segment mode if I wake up in middle of sleep, otherwise I am going with Feeling mode only. (Mom)

From the previous class I learned about doing the 911 mode inside my head when somethings make me very angry. In my free time when I sit idle or when I watch TV I count from 1 through 100. Or when I go for a very long walk. (Son)

One thing I started doing since our last class is I started chewing my food slowly and started swallowing liquid that comes out from chewing. I have noticed that it feels good doing so and helping my digestion. I have noticed a difference in how I felt after every meal. I started doing segment mode at bedtime and it helped me fall asleep faster. I observed this is helping me fall asleep whenever I had disturbed sleep or woke up to use the bathroom. I feel energized every morning when I am waking and taking time to meditate to wake up my mind so that I could feel fresh. I noticed that I have the ability to calm my self down in stressful situations without causing stress to the other person who is already experiencing temper tantrum. I observed that I could train myself to make this a daily habit to incorporate and make it a part of my life. (N1)

I have practiced segment, tip and feeling modes this whole week. I had a a very beautiful and good week. During the feeling mode practiced OM chanting. I have seen a change in my behavior and maintaining my patience level too. I have to work on my patience level more by practicing meditation and spending more time on it to improve it. Overall this week I have seen a change which is a good improvement in me. (N2)

"A" Family (Session 2)

All the four members were introduced to the remaining modes - Tip mode, Segment mode, Staring mode and 911 mode. They briefly practiced all these modes and corrections were suggested for the best results. When to practice at night lying in the bed and on waking up in the bed was explained. Summary of their feedback follows.

Improvements noticed

Felt very lightheaded with very less space in my mind to worry about everyday problems. (N1)

Improvement in calmness and patience level, Concentrate on my life goals (N2)

My life goals

Not to react immediately, Think before reacting/ answering (Mom)

Getting a job (75%), Helping my parents, Becoming disciplined (Son)

I want to learn how to be grateful for all the things I have in my life, I want to learn to have gratitude and focus on my wellbeing, Worry less about ongoing problems. (N1)

To get job (N2)

I manage my stress by Watching TV, Exercise, Socializing, Yoga, Meditation (Mom)

Watching TV, Exercise (Son)

Exercise, Socializing, Journaling, Meditation, Music (N1)

Watching TV, Exercise, Yoga, Meditation (N2)

My expectation from the meeting

I want to gain more knowledge on meditation (Married niece)

Today's take home ideas

Regularize breathing, Changing habit of food intake, Calming myself, Had fun and gained knowledge (Mom)

Practicing the 911 mode, Doing the "Hare Rama...." mantra, Having self-control, Initiating some thoughts (Son)

Become self-aware, I want to practice4 segment mode when I get on bed to go right into sleep to see if it is making me fall asleep fast, in case I have trouble sleeping, I want to do segment mode followed by OM followed by feeling mode. (N1)

How to do Tip mode, Segment mode, 911 mode, Food practices, Meditation practices (N2)

Rating of today's session

Very useful x4

I want to learn by

Reading books, Reading on-line, Watching videos, Listening to people is also my favorite learning technique. (Mom)

Watching videos (Son)

Reading books, Listening to music (N1)

Reading books, Watching videos, From friends and social media (N2)

Free style writing

I asked each of them to write down what comes to their mind on the blank side of the survey form. Their statements are as follows.

I am practicing everyday: going to bed, in the middle of the night if I awake, in the morning before I get out of the bed, during yoga sessions, while cooking when no one is around, doing pooja (focusing on breath/ chanting).

It is helping me focus on meditation, able to sleep good and not feeling tired most of the time, Able to calm my self when frustrated, helping me calm myself when frustrated, helping me control my anger and anxiety, definitely I have to practice more to fix my feelings when things make me sad. (Mom)

I have done my breathing when I get off the bed, before my workout for calisthenics. I do the breathing daily when I watch baseball games, when I am feeling bored, and otherwise, when work interview questions are getting very hectic, when studying for interview to make my mind stay calm and cool, I do the breathing and Hare Rama ... mantra, I do the meditation when I see the oceans and the waves in the outer world, I do the nadi sodhana breathing which helps keep my mind fresh. (Son)

Everyday I made it a habit of focusing on my breath right before going to sleep,. This might have helped me go to sleep earlier than the time I would consume normally. Before practicing this I used to think about a lot of things that came into my mind as soon as I wake up the next morning. Because I focused on my breathing right before sleeping I think my mind didn't have any worrying thoughts that usually held up my sleep before dozing off. I also feel very fresh when I wake up, focusing on the breath to sunlight in my room. This image is very peaceful for me and stays on my mind before I get out of the bed and get into my daily activities. I want to keep practicing this as long as possible. I also focus on my breathing now and then while doing chores or just sitting on the deck looking at the birds. It felt good and it gave me some empty space in my mind to where I can jump to whenever I want. (N1)

I practiced meditation three days after the class. I missed for 4 days. During the practice it was very good and my mind is very calm and peaceful. I should keep doing it daily so that I can maintain my calmness and also gives me more energy to concentrate on my goals and improve my patience level. During the meditation, I mainly practiced to concentrate on my breathing and also practiced the counting mode. I apologize for not practicing daily. I will definitely follow this meditation daily. (N2)

7-27-24

"A" Family (Session 1)

A family of 4 - Mother, young adult son (under grad on the spectrum), one young married niece and another niece who completed her under graduation, attended a one hour introductory workshop at Columbia Internal Medicine (My daughter's medical office).

They were introduced to 'Counting breaths meditation' using the 'counting mode' and 'feeling mode'.

Modality of teaching

I gave each of them a copy of my one page handout "Who said meditation is difficult? PDF". I asked each of them to read one section of the handout and explain its message in their own words. Each of them got more than one chance to read and explain. I corrected their interpretation wherever necessary.

Next, I gave each them a copy of the meditation brochure PDF. One them read out the page 1 describing the introduction and 'counting mode'. The rest of the modes will be introduced in the next session.

We practiced the 'counting mode' counting the numbers audibly for 2 minutes setting a timer.

We practiced 'counting mode' silently counting the numbers for 2 minutes.

Necessary corrections were suggested -

Inhale and exhale effortlessly.

Bring the mind back when it wanders.

They were advised to take a picture of just their faces from top of head to bottom of the chin. New pictures to be taken monthly to see the change in the faces.

Feedback

They wrote down their feedback on plain paper on my request. It is reproduced below. With their permission, I let each of them see the feedback from the other three participants.

Really helpful to keep ourselves calm and relaxed. We can direct ourselves from issues going on instead of getting frustrated or depressed. We learned these techniques previously from you, this will be a revision for me and will try to work on this regularly. (Mother)

It helps my mind stay calm and focused. It feels the waves of the water and the colors of the artist. Closing my eyes I am looking at the God. I am meditating to help my mind stay calm and I can't be distracted by others. (Son)

Today's session is very helpful. Really calms my mind and gets stress out of me. I have never been to this meditation sessions before. It is very useful for me to get better in my life. Thank you so much for your teaching and time. Looking forward to more sessions. [Younger Niece (N2)]

I want to thank you for introducing me to 'Counting breaths meditation' technique. Whenever I tried to meditate earlier, I was trying to not to let my mind wander into thoughts or I was trying to focus on my posture, pain in my body or what I should do after meditation or I tried to set up a time frame (5 to 10 min). After our session today, you made it clear that meditation is not an exercise for me to set up a time frame or it is not a guidance that will benefit me in some way. You taught that it can be incorporated into our regular breathing. I will try to do this from today and I want to replace the numbers with the chant "OM" or nothing at all. I felt that counting numbers is also something you are telling your mind to do. (Older Niece - (N1)]

All of them will come weekly to complete the course and then for follow up.

20th July 2024

"P" Family (Session 2)

The family of 3 (Father, mother and teenage son) came for the second class after a month. Their feedback is posted below.

CHECK-IN

I practiced

Counting mode when tired. (Father)

Counting mode during bedtime (Mother)

Counting mode at bedtime, Feeling mode at bedtime and when doing exercise. (son)

Improvements noticed

Quick relaxation, able to fall asleep when unable to (Father)

Good sound sleep, I am waking up directly at 5 am on the morning without any sleep interruption in between. It is making me my day active. (Mother)

Relaxation, Quicker to fall asleep. (Son)

My goals in life

Confidently talk without getting stressed out. (Father)

To be active in my daily chores and show more interest in learning new things. (Mother)

More gym time, Reduce laziness, Healthier diet, Conversation skills improvement. (Son)

END OF THE SESSION

Today's take home ideas

Practice '911 mode' when extremely stressed, Practice 'Tip mode' when waking up in the morning, Practice 'Staring mode' when stopped at a red light. (Father)

Practice 'Sleeping meditation' using the segment mode, Waking up meditation and Routine meditation. (Mother)

Tip mode, Segment mode, Staring mode, Feeling mode,911 mode, Eating meditation, Sleeping meditation. (Son)

Rating of today's session

Very useful (Father and mother)

Useful (Son)

I would like to learn more by

Watching videos (Father)

Watching videos, Through demonstrations (Mother)

Watching videos (Son)

NOTES

They learned all the modes of focusing on breathing. All three of them willingly exchanged their completed feedback forms after filling out the check-In items and again at the end of the session.

I learned about how their younger son's special needs situation. We discussed how he can be helped by improving the way they listen and speak to hm. We agreed that we will work on learning new skills towards this goal to reduce their stress and of their special son.

June 30, 2024

"P" Family (Session 1)

A family of husband, wife and their teenage son were introduced to the 'Counting mode'. The parents wanted their son to be more focused on his studies so that he would score high in his academics. They said he would study for 1/2 hour, get distracted by looking into his phone, not putting full attention on his studies though he had the potential. They thought his focus may improve if he would practice meditation.

They had another son on the elevated end of spectrum. He was not willing to learn the meditation. He was asked to sit outside and keep himself engaged with the phone.

The parents and teenage son were trained only in the 'counting mode'. It was agreed that they would come for the follow up class at an unspecified date.

29th May 2024

"S" Family

This is the first time I invited the parents to join when I was asked to help the teen daughter. Luckily they agreed, cooperated and their story has a happy ending.

A teenage daughter visited my table at the Health Fair in May 2023 and saw the books on meditation, domestic violence, parenting etc. She said she wanted to talk about domestic violence. Soon her mother came and told me her daughter is very much emotionally disturbed.

On their request, we met with the family a couple of times. In the first session of about 3 hours, I was joined by my daughter Padma Sripada MD. We heard the anguish of the daughter, mother and father. They listened to one another's complaints without getting upset. The daughter's stress was due to restricting cell phone access at night. She could not talk or message her friends after 11. Until that time she was busy with her homework.

Her mother would harass her for her hair style. Her father would question her if she was utilizing her time productively. The girl cut her wrist a few times out of frustration.

The mom had her complaints about her husband. She said he would talk for hours to his widowed mother in India but he had no time to talk to her though she is his wife.

They agreed to come for the second session to learn 'Counting breaths meditation'. A summary of their feedback follows. Scanned images of the feedback forms

What I like about this meditation

I can do it anytime.

Meditate without taking time to sit and do it.

Keeps me calm.

Easy to follow, not complicated

I want to try this meditation at these times

Bedtime x4

Waking up x 3

Waiting x 1

Stressed x 3

I would like to try this meditation to help me with

Calming my thoughts

Anxiety, Procrastination

Stress management

When I overthink and when I get angry, I want to meditate and then think, so I can think clearly.

Workshop evaluation

Very satisfied x 3

Satisfied x1

Comments

Thank you so much.

Very calming experience, mind is clear.

Notes

I asked the girl to write down on a blank paper her 'Wish list' (Do's and Don'ts for her mother, father and for herself. She wrote down a 4 to 5 points for each of them. With her permission, I passed on the paper to her father and mother. One of the points she wrote was "Don't fight in the house when I can see or hear you fighting." The above exercise was very healing for all of them.

An interesting thing happened. One of the complaints of the daughter was that at night when she was walking from her room to the kitchen for something, her father sitting in the family room would comment “Are you using your time productively question” in a taunting tone. She would cringe at his hurtful comment.

On a hunch based on my reading how we unconsciously copy the behavior of our parents, I asked the father "How did your father treat you when you were your daughter's age?". He reacted quickly and said "That was how my father used to comment on me at her age!". He teared up in a moving manner. His wife sitting by his side touched his hand and tried to comfort him.

I followed up with the mother a few times after the classes. She reported all was well.

I set up a booth at the Health Fair the next year May 2024. I was hoping to meet the family. They did come to my table. All of them were smiling happily. The girl said things were much better at home and her parents were listening to her. The parents also met after a while and were happy. They were not longer worried about their daughter. This case was a huge learning experience for me. I decided that in the future, I would insist on meeting the whole family when the parents complained about their child.

Later on, I read a few books by the masters of family therapy. My hunch was confirmed. The children become scape goats of the family when the parents have unresolved problems in their relationship.

Aug 2023

Family with a son on the spectrum

At-home seminar was offered to the parents and their son Grade 1 attending special Ed classes. The parents were trained in the basic modes. They were advised to introduce the Folding mode to their son at bedtime.

March 2014

Family of Dr Sai Gandham MD (Ophthalmology)

His family and relatives (6) visiting from India were trained. One of the family member was an OB-Gyn in India.

Thanksgiving family gathering

26 adults and 16 teens were trained in the house of Dr. Swatantra Mitta M.D

Nov 2003

Meditation workshops

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