I hated the garbage and I stopped

The story

How is that? 

There is a story behind it. After many months of postponement, I started my morning walks while working at the paperboard company ITCPSPD in India. I chose a dirt path around the boundary wall of the housing colony of our company to avoid meeting known people, having to talk to them, and breaking the walking tempo. This path had the frequent hazard of a band of monkeys that used to chase people sometimes. I picked up a stick and carried it for that stretch.

Most of the path was peaceful and was a visual feast of green trees, early morning sounds of birds, and an occasional ‘good morning’ with a known person. It was a wonderful break from the concrete, steel, and continuous streams of people I saw throughout my working hours.

On the first day, at the mid-point of the path, I smelled the faint stench of garbage. As I walked on, the stench intensified and became progressively unbearable. I was distressed that the stench marred the beautiful and peaceful path. I cursed the garbage and the people who chose to dump it at this place. I almost ran past the garbage dump. I felt relieved when
I walked past the dump and the stench stopped.

The next day, having known the spot from where the stench would start, I would anticipate the stench even before I felt it. Automatically, the disgust at the garbage arose in my mind. Day after day, the garbage and its unbearable stench became a prominent part of my morning walk experience. 

I tried to minimize the duration and impact of the stench by taking a deep breath, holding it, and walking very fast till I crossed the stench zone. I resumed breathing after the stench stopped.

I started hating the garbage every day and the hatred was accumulating. Even before I reached the starting point of the actual stench, I used to anticipate it and start hating the imaginary garbage and the imaginary stench. Soon the actual stench would join the imaginary stench and actual hatred joined the anticipatory hatred.

This prolonged (or so I felt) disruption of an otherwise peaceful morning walk bothered me every day. After a few days of this unpleasant experience and going through the drill of holding the breath and walking fast, I began to reflect on it.

Reflections

It led to an internal dialogue. 

Who is the culprit? 

Who else but the garbage spreading the unbearable stench? That stinky garbage is spoiling my walk!

Why am I hating the garbage? 

Because it was giving out the unbearable stench. 

What do I expect the garbage to do? 

It should stop giving out the stench. 

What smell do I expect from the garbage? 

Do I want the garbage to give out a pleasant smell of lavender, rose, or jasmine? 

Yes, then I will be very happy and may even love it.

The moment the above thought arose, a smile came on my lips realizing the stupidity of my thinking. My attitude towards the garbage changed dramatically.

Wait! Am I expecting the garbage to smell like roses or at least not give out any smell? 

Am I crazy? 

It can't be called garbage. if it doesn't give out the unique garbage stench. It will of course stop smelling bad when it fully decomposes. 

Yes, this is what I want from it, stop smelling bad. 

But, if it decomposes and stops smelling it will no longer be called garbage. Its name will then be ‘Compost’. 

Then I felt silly for hating the garbage for its stench. My persistent hatred of garbage disappeared. 

Garbage is only exhibiting its inherent nature by giving out the stench. It is least bothered about who is offended or hated by it, let alone my tiny self on the planet called the Earth. The Milky Way galaxy has – on average – between 800 billion and 3.2 trillion planets, with some estimates placing that number as high a 8 trillion!

The garbage does not even recognize my existence or of anyone else. 

The garbage concept extends Into real life 

After some time, this concept spread into other life situations. I disliked some people for their unpleasant behavior. I applied the garbage concept to their behavior. Being human beings with higher capabilities, they are capable of being nice to some people and nasty to others. It is in their nature to behave unpleasantly towards me for which they have their reasons or they may be retaliating against my nasty behavior towards them about which I might have conveniently forgotten. 

There are two dimensions of suffering here. The first dimension is the direct suffering due to the unpleasantness of their behavior. The second dimension which is more intense and longer lasting, is their indifference to my suffering. 

What can I do to avoid these two kinds of suffering? 

When I can't change their behavior to a pleasant one, I can adopt the same attitude that I adopted towards the garbage. First I should accept that it is in their nature to be nasty towards me, like it is the nature of garbage to smell bad. In other words, I should attach the label of ‘Stinky Garbage’ to them. I should not wish that they change their behavior. I better avert my mind when they give out the stench and minimize its impact on my senses. Once the episode is over I should take it out of my mind just as I forget the smell of garbage after I go past that stretch on the path. 

What prevents me from forgetting their nasty behavior is the secondary suffering due to their lack of concern for my hurt feelings, even ignoring my existence. It is easy to avoid this suffering as well. Treat this second aspect of their behavior as the second bad smell of a special garbage. Accept that these people have two kinds of bad smells – one is the desire to hurt others’ feelings and the second is to be insensitive to their agony or even to enjoy seeing their suffering. You can label them ‘Dual Stink Garbage’. Once labeled like this, their behavior can only bother me, only when it is occurring, not later. Any kind of prolonged suffering can be avoided.

I may even like the stench!

One more thought arose from my life experience -  

In our last year at Osmania Engineering College in India, our class was taken on a visit to the local sewage treatment plant. As we came close to it, the unbearable stench of open sewage was felt and all of us held handkerchiefs to our noses. 

The manager of the treatment plant was showing us around explaining the process. He did not seem to be bothered about the stench even one bit, whereas all of us were holding handkerchiefs to our noses and struggling to hide our discomfort. 

As you may have seen, every group of people has its own humor specialist or clown. One of our classmates was adept at poking fun at anyone, his classmates and even the professors. This guy asked the manager of the plant after being with him for a few minutes and seeing his total lack of concern for the smell, as if there was no smell at all!  

He said, “Sir! You are so much used to being in this smell throughout the day. You may be even liking it”. 

All of us were shocked at his comment but laughed heartily and the manager of the plant also took it sportively. 

Even after 60 years, his remark rings in my ears. How true was his joke! 

When one is exposed to anything countless times, one becomes indifferent to it – be it the stench of garbage, or the smell of perfume, or the nasty behavior of the person one may be regularly dealing with.  

Hence my reaction to the stench may be due to my lack of repeated exposure to it going by my comedian friend’s joke.

Finally, when exposed to stinky behavior for a long time, one may get so used to it, become indifferent to it, or even like it!  

Related pages

Relationship related  articles