by Danny
"BLOODY HELL!" came a voice from upstairs.
The team, standing knee deep in chopsticks, looked upward toward the source of the Australian-accented yell.
Danny Hearn came running downstairs into the main living area where the others were gathered.
"Well, buggery fuck! I'm trying to sleep in, and these little slimy goblin things are crawling all over me! Then, just when I've taken care of most of them, the bloody things fly out the window! Then there's MORE! Then they turn into chopsticks! GAH!"
"I turned them into chopsticks!" M'xy said proudly.
"Well... that's great, M'xy..." Daniel replied, genuinely enough, but still a little confused. He waded through the pile of chopsticks and asked, "So are there any more in the building?"
"Let me check... no," Tobias Christopher said, leaving little more than a few disrupted chopsticks on the ground as evidence of his search.
"Shit. I think I blinked," Danny said, rubbing his eyes and looking at Tobias.
"Well do we know what these things were?" Sam Dawson asked.
The awkward silence that followed was broken only by a loud beeping from the office.
"What the--?" Danny said.
"Computer in the office," Sam replied.
"Computer, my arse... belongs in a history museum. I'll get it. Then I get lots of coffee and an hour-long shower. I'm tired, and I'm covered in goblin goo," Danny said, walking toward the office.
What the team heard coming from the office over the next few moments went something like this:
"Where's the button for the thingie?
"Antique piece o' crap!
"Two-dimensional my arse!
"It's making a funny noise.
"How do you people live with this primitive junk?"
About ninety seconds later, they heard, over their own laughter, the word, "EUREKA!"
"He actually said 'eureka'?" Tobias muttered softly to Sam.
"Apparently. I think it's an Australian thing."
Danny positioned himself in front of the computer in the antique swivel chair. Feeling rather proud of himself for figuring it out, he opened the video communications program.
"Dr. Quantos!" he said, looking at the image of Dr. Henry Quantos.
"Hello, Danny..."
"Do you know what I have to deal with? This computer is the most primitive piece of--"
"Listen, Danny, I've run some tests on the creatures that attacked you this morning. They appear to be nothing more than puppets... animated by some other source. They possess no real intelligence of their own. And, likely, they are being manipulated by someone within the boundaries of La Perdita."
"Right... so we're looking for someone on the island with some kind of voodoo midget zombie magic."
"Uh... I think so, yes."
"Right. Thanks for the heads up, Doctor. I'll let the rest of the team know. Bye."
"Bye. Take care."
Danny got up and returned to the rest of the team. "Well, that was Quantos on the line... but more importantly, what is up with that computer?"
"It's state of the art..." Sam replied.
"Right. THAT'S state of the art? Why don't we just get an abacus in here? How about I got get two sticks, I'll rub them together, we start ourselves a fire, and we'll cook us some woolly mammoth for dessert?"
Sam just laughed at him.
"What did the Doc say about the creepy crawlies?" Tobias said. Danny began to relay the message from Quantos.