by kid_psycho_00
New Orleans, antimatter world:
The two heroes King Psionic and ORCA Chief awoke in what appeared to be some sort of jail cell.
King Psionic, regaining his senses, muttered, "Did you get the number of that bus?"
ORCA Chief: "I think that's the least of our worries now. Where did they take us?"
King Psionic: "It appears as though we were left in some sort of holding cell. Lord Psionic must have something big in mind for us. Otherwise, we would be dead now."
ORCA Chief: "Shhhh! Someone's coming!"
The cell door opened, and in stepped a mirror image of King Psionic. It was Lord Psionic.
King Psionic: "What's going on here? What are you up to?"
Lord Psionic: "Silence! I'll do the talking from now on!"
King Psionic: "I don't hav--"
Lord Psionic: "Zip it!"
King Psionic: "What's going...?"
Lord Psionic: "Zip!"
King Psionic: "Where hav--?"
"Zip!" said Lord Psionic. "You don't know how fortunate you are that I found you before Khan learned of your existence."
ORCA Chief: "I'm sure that you're going to tell us!"
Lord Psionic: "Seeing as though you are both completely at my mercy, and that there is nothing you can do to thwart my plans, I figure that there will be no harm in telling you the whole story."
Unfortunately for King Psionic and ORCA Chief, the story was quite long and drawn out.
Lord Psionic concluded, "I served as Viet Khan's right-hand man, though reluctantly, until the opportunity arose for myself to get my hands on an ultra-secret new weapon that he possessed. A snitch among my ranks let Khan in on my deception and, to make a long story short, a power struggle ensued which left Khan and his girlfriend buried underneath a ton of rubble on a nearby planet, and I took the title of Viet Khan Lord Psionic as my own. I got word this morning that he somehow survived and will stop at nothing until I'm destroyed. He has already destroyed most of my loyal troops, and I was in the process of gathering my things to go into hiding until the day I would be in a position to stop him once again. This is when I learned of your existence through my underworld spy network. All that's left to do now is to let Khan know of your whereabouts, so that he can exact his revenge on me through you, thus enabling me to continue my plans in secret without the nagging fear of Khan finding me again."
A henchman said, "Lord, Khan has found us! He is transmitting a message to your talk-screen as we speak!"
Lord Psionic: "It's always something, isn't it? Don't think that I've forgotten about you two! I'll take this call, and I'll be back!"
He left the cell and entered the monitor room, where he was greeted by the all-too-familiar face of Viet Khan, who was holding Jayne's lifeless corpse.
Lord Psionic: "Khan, you bloodsucker! You're gonna have to do your own dirty work now, do you hear me? Do you?"
Khan: "Lord Psionic! You're still alive, old friend!"
Lord Psionic: "Still, old friend! You've managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target."
"Perhaps I no longer need to try, Lord," said Viet Khan, beamed the ultra-secret new weapon from Lord Psionic's stronghold into a spot just in view behind him.
Lord Psionic: "Khan... Khan, you've got the device, but you don't have me. You're going to kill me, Khan? You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to come down here."
Khan: "I've done far worse than kill you, Lord. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive."
"KHAAANNNN!" Lord Psionic screamed angrily, then turned to his henchman and made the end transmission signal.
His henchman said, "We must hurry, Lord, while we still have time to escape before Khan discovers our position!"
Lord Psionic looked at his wristwatch. "Three... two... one... Ahhh, I don't think we need worry about that fool any more!"
"I don't wish to speak out of turn, but what the hell are you talking about?" asked the henchman.
Lord Psionic looked at him questioningly. "You did have the time-bomb installed into the device... didn't you?"
The henchman shrugged. "This is the first that I've heard of it."
Lord Psionic: "Hmm... Well, in that case, let's get the hell out of here while we still have time to escape before Khan discovers our position!"
"What about the prisoners?"
Lord Psionic narrowed his eyes. "I'll pretend you didn't say that! Let's get a move on, everybody!" He and his evil henchmen darted for the exits while grabbing almost everything of value as they did so.
Left behind in the dank cell, King Psionic and ORCA Chief remained tied to their chairs.
ORCA Chief: "Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into!"
King Psionic: "At least we are still alive!"
ORCA Chief: "And for how long? The way I see it, we are dead meat sitting here waiting for Viet Khan to waltz on in here and finish us off!"
King Psionic: "Unfortunately, my powers -- at least the ones that I am currently aware of -- are no match for these ropes! Not only that, I just realized that I haven't had a scrap to eat all day! Why don't you use your powers and get us the hell out of here?"
ORCA Chief: "I would, but I don't know what my powers are yet!"
King Psionic: "Oh, great! Now you tell me!"
ORCA Chief: "You never bothered to ask! You are the one who decided to include me in your little adventure without even taking the time to fill me in on what this whole thing is all about! I just want to go home and read some comics!"
King Psionic: "Okay, I'm sorry! Arguing with each other won't help us with our current situation. Time is running out. We need to come up with a plan, and fast!"